GrouseMan wrote:We all do that - Attempt to find common ground with people that are important to us, or that we will be spending time with. This includes doctors. We want to make it personal. Your husband is obviously a fixer. I think he was showing your oncologist that this is what I fixed, I can tackle tough jobs. At my wife's first meeting with her oncologist - I did something similar, but I showed him I have very common ground with him as I was once employed in anti-cancer drug research and know a thing or two about it. After that first meeting I rarely attend appointments with my wife now, as her doctor when making a change explains it very well to her so she and I can discuss it when she gets home. He is even willing to send me more details about a trial he was considering, but it turns out she had to do FolFiri first, before she would qualify for it which she is on now.
Sounds like your husband is a pretty great human being. Don't be so hard on him when he does things like this. 5 mins talking about a car isn't the end of the world. You are likely a little more remembered and interesting to your oncologist now. Not just another patient. Your husband was trying to make the oncologist more invested in your case.
GrouseMan
peanut_8 wrote:I think that my diagnosis was more difficult for my spouse than for me. When diagnosed, I was in the hospital for about a month, and for the first week or so, was not expected to recover. This all just appeared right out of nowhere, and was a terrible surprise.
So while I was in the big house, my DH decided to swap out all the light bulbs in our house for the newer more efficient variety. This required a bit of research, which being an engineer, he was happy to do. I guess it was his way of relieving stress. Our daughter has a humorous story about the process. DH has narrowed the bulb selection down to 2 finalists, and marches her out to determine which is the better choice. She proceeds to point to the one on the right. DH stamps his foot a bit, and declared that is the wrong selection, and gives her a mini lecture on why it is the better choice. He was literally ecstatic when he discovered a bulb sale at Home Depot. I know my friend Justin Case has an impressive stash of toilet paper, well we have an equally large stash of light bulbs.
After completion of the bulb project, DH moved on to the next distraction. This involved the purchase of a sports car. Since it was a used machine, he had to travel a ways to get it. OK, fine, it's a nice car and all, butt was it something that we really needed at that time? It makes him happy, so I guess the answer is yes. It does have the added benefit of very little complaining when a new pair or two of shoes makes their way into the house.
Judy, I think we are lucky to have these guys. I know I wouldn't trade my for anything, and I think you wouldn't either. Best wishes to the both of you.
peanut
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