Lee wrote:Gave them to my brother to take home and enjoy
CaliforniaBagMan wrote:If I knew your husband personally, I suspect he might say something about his wife: "I wish SHE came with an instruction manual or a youtube video or something that could help me figure out the gears and gizmos going round in HER head, because they turn in a whole different direction than the ones in my head do."
He would then explain how his life has been affected and buffeted by his wife's illnesses and medical needs, while he has tried to be supportive. He never asked for that but is trying his best. He has attended appointments with her, visited in the hospital rooms after surgeries, plus of course taken care of all of the family and household business while she cannot. He would describe having lovingly taken a broken down Ford mustang and restored it just exactly how his wife would like it, and repainting a room to surprise her even though he is probably very bad at color selection. And while I don't know your husband, I sense that when he is showing off the pictures of the car he is likely bragging about how he did it for his wife and not himself.
But he would also be confessing bewilderment. After doing all these things to be supportive, he would be confused as taking 5 minutes in a doctor appointment, to show off the car and his love for his wife, was out of line? After the onc had expressed interest in cars and when he thought the appointment was already over? 5 minutes, really?
There is, of course, much I do not know. But from what is described, it sounds to me like you have a great husband.
KWT wrote:Do you need some cheese?
stu wrote:Hi.
Your post highlighted to me just how different healthcare is depending on where you live. Until my mum's original oncologist had established a working relationship with my mum if we attempted to ask a question he asked my mum if she wanted us to contribute. We had to seek permission to speak. She loved it. Little smile spreading across her face. Good thing really and would have certainly given you the opportunity to decline.
All joking aside , rising cea is serious and to be fair to you pretty stressful discussing it. Oncology is pretty stressful on all involved and I know you get that it was just a clumsy attempt to connect.
Glad your making progress though.
Hang in there.
Stu
KWT wrote:congrats on your Cea decrease.
kellywin wrote:Judy - don't let any of these comments derail your topic. Spouses can be asses and even though you love them, it doesn't mean you don't want to beat the shit out of them. And for anyone to make you feel bad for wanting to strangle (ok, my word there) your spouse during this process can take a flying leap. You're entitled to feel any way you want to. I'm sure it's tough being the spouse that doesn't have cancer (and, stepping on my soapbox: I refuse to use the word caregiver because I think it's insulting to the person with cancer, if I wanted a caregiver, I'd hire a nurse, I want a spouse. Stepping down off soapbox) but here's the reality, they don't have cancer = they don't know what it feels like. Attending appointments with your spouse or visiting you in the hospital, doesn't do anything for me, that doesn't help me, and taking care of "household duties" - excuse me, but who says those are the wife's "job"?
Feel free to bitch away, don't apologize.
Edited to clarify: I actually don't think you were bitching, you came across pretty nice about it, I thought. Me, not so much
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