O/T … I hesitate to post this

[weisssoccermom]

As the third mod, I would like to chime in. Yes, the reference to the OP was NOT about this thread but rather about the Divine Healing thread.

I agree with Bev. In the 'good ole days', members talked amongst themselves, helped each other, shared stories about their personal life that were outside of the whole CRC discussion and no one minded. From time to time a thread would cause a little uproar, but it died down quickly and we continued on. Yes, religion was brought up and people didn't get nasty, snarky, mean spirited, etc. If they didn't agree...they just didn't post. Faith is a part of people....and we need to accept that....regardless of what that faith is or isn't. Like it or not, religion and faith are NOT going to go away.

I agree with the other mods. If you think a topic is going to push some buttons for you...then please, do everyone a favor and just don't reply. Don't even open the darn thread so as to avoid potential problems. I might add that if ANYONE feels that someone is pushing their beliefs on someone else by saying you MUST do this or that....then instead of calling them out on the board, PLEASE PM one of the three of us (Crguy, brownbagger or myself) and express your concerns to us and we will deal with it. That's why we are here.

There will always be contentious threads on this board that have references to religion and politics (those two seem to stir the pot the most). If you know that a particular subject is going to annoy the heck out of you please, just don't open it. It's that easy and had that been done in the beginning, most, if not all of this uproar could have been avoided. Can't we all just be civil and considerate to each other? I think it is time to remember again that this is a PRIVATE forum and, as such, no member has the right to post whatever they want....just because they can. If anyone believes that they are somehow There will be consequences.

As adults, I would hope that we can all move on, let the Divine Healing thread RIP and, in the future, think before we post something that may be considered rude, offensive or hurtful by another member.

[Cb75]

I've been a member of this forum for quite some time. It was a life line for me of information, hope and knowing that I am not alone with this disease. Since the tone of this forum has changed, I haven't been as involved or responsive as I would typically be. I have always tried to share information with people and to also connect on a personal and emotional level. For me cancer is more than just the disease. This was a place I could come to in crisis and find hope, or I could come to when feeling well and try and help others in a similar place know that they were not alone. Now, I have to say I feel so alone. I feel lost, abandoned and I don't know where to turn. I'm so sad that this has happened here. Some have forgotten the purpose and the intent of why we are here. Who knows what coming next, whether it be in your health, your love life or your physical presence here in this world? We are missing the point...

We are one
cb<3

[weisssoccermom]

Cb75.....you are NOT alone and you should NEVER feel that way. Please don't let a few people who may be having their own issues stop you from coming here and finding a welcoming, compassionate and darn smart group of people.

Perhaps your post will be an eye opener for some....we need to change so that more people don't feel the same way that you do. I would hate to see this forum become so jaded so that some people are turned off and won't continue to come...particularly at a time when they need the help/support the most.

[canadiandaughter]

Well first I want to thank the 3 mods for their hard and thankless job of running this forum which we all have found very useful in our battles with this disease. I know I personally have learned a lot and hope to continue learning. The past few months we have had some nasty debates in here. Sadly, we have some members who I admired that no longer post. Skypup being one of them. What I find hard to handle, is that some might think that some of the behavior lately is cancer related. Possibly things are going bad or whatever. I know that is hard but you know what, we all have shit going on!! I live on a farm that had drought to ruin our crops and now rain that is preventing us from getting what we do have off. The oil patch crash here has taken away our second income and we have some other family issues unrelated to cancer but still health related, that we are dealing with. I don't take my pain at home out on anyone here. If I am in a really bad mood, I just read here and don't post because I am apt to say something I might regret or I seek out the positive posts to make me feel better. Its called pushing away they keyboard when you can't be nice!! Come on people, we are all adults here, time to grow up and get along!!

[PGLGreg]

As the third mod, I would like to chime in. Yes, the reference to the OP was NOT about this thread but rather about the Divine Healing thread.

Then all 3 mods are apparently confused. I just re-read the first post of the Divine Healing thread, which was the very first post from jennlaud. I'm sure she said nothing there to deserve all these menacing threats.

[teachpdx]

I have to say when I saw the post "Divine Healing" I immediately did NOT even bother clicking on it because I know it (probably) would have made me mad and I'm a practicing (but questioning) Lutheran. So when I started reading this post I didn't know what you guys were talking about. See what happens when you just bypass stuff - I avoided reading a bunch of negativity. I'm thankful - life's too short. I think most of us know that. Peace, Kristi

[PainInTheAss]

I also felt that the MOD should have removed the OP a long time ago....

You may not have noticed that the OP is a MOD. Easy to miss.

I wonder how many recent posts I could count that begin with a plea for tolerance and proceed immediately to characterize the Bad Guys, place themselves in the camp of the Good Guys, propose censorship guidelines to make it easier to single out the Bad Guys, then describe with relish the penalties that can be visited upon those others -- the Bad Guys.

Isn't tolerance wonderful?

They were talking about removing the Divine Healing thread, not the actual OP.

I think that the continued call for silence from dissenters is ridiculous along with the idea that if people don't agree with something, they should keep it to themselves. Sorry, but that is just not how the world works. But there are some who've crossed the line into personal attacks rather than expressing opinions. No one called them "bad guys." The answer is respect, not limiting dissenting opinions. We SHOULD be intolerant of blatant disrespect. Offending replies should simply be removed as they appear regardless of who posted them. I've seen this on other forums. They just cut out the "cancer" and leave the rest of the thread intact. There's no need to ban anyone if their offensive posts are removed.

[JudeD59]

I honestly don't understand. I know I've only been a member since April, but I've been on here every single day since then and I've searched all sorts of topics and read hundreds and hundreds of threads.

I've seen threads advocating for recreational drug use as a coping mechanism. I don't have a problem with that, but I can't believe that every single member on this board is a proponent for drug use. I've never seen anyone shamed, mocked, or ridiculed for choosing that route to get by. The same with posts about alcohol use, yoga, meditation, vitamin supplements, special diets, etc. Not every person believes those things will cure cancer or even help cope with the ordeal of having cancer, but they don't mock and belittle the people who do find them helpful. So why feel a need to do so when the topic is religion? If a member finds comfort in prayer and faith, let them have their comfort, as long as they aren't pushing it on you. I wouldn't want anyone pushing recreational drugs, alcohol, or anything else on me as the be-all, end-all way to beat this disease either. You might think you know the "truth" about religion and feel it's your duty to enlighten others, but it isn't, because it's your truth, not theirs, and that goes for believers and non-believers. When has insulting someone or mocking them or stereotyping them ever made them think, "Gee, what was I thinking? You've shown me the error of my ways and I'll now change my whole belief system based on your belittlement." Um, never.

I'm all for whatever helps you get through this nightmare and even if it goes against everything I believe, I'm happy it works for you. If a thread title is about a hobby or practice I'm not interested in, I skip it. But I would never even think to ask the mods to ban the subject just because it isn't my source of comfort. Why would anyone want to deny a fellow cancer sufferer a form of comfort? We are dealing with life or death issues here and I think disallowing spiritual discussion would create a false environment. For many, many people the world over, life and death issues go hand in hand with spiritual questions, not just religious questions, but spiritual questions, which can be about so much more than just religion.

I hope those who are still angered by things said in the Divine Healing thread will let it go and we can get back to supporting each other. We should be embracing the differences that make us individuals and remembering the common thread that unites all of us--the real enemy, colorectal cancer.

Judy

[PainInTheAss]

I agree with Judy that I'm not seeing that the overall tone of the board has changed dramatically. I just ignored the Divine Healing thread for the most part and the rest of the threads were still supportive and helpful. The same people who were bickering in that thread were helping in others.

I remember being a new member and there were similar "fights" going on and I just ignored them because I didn't know what they were talking about. I don't think one thread is going to drive new people away. They are scared and looking for answers and could care less who called who what. I messaged the OP and she justs ignores that thread and still reads posts on the rest of the board.

The bigger problem to me is the numerous new threads that have popped up talking about that thread. It is sooooo distracting to have several threads bumping at the same time about the same thing. It really makes it look like a bigger problem than it is. The same thing happened with the last blow up about the Duggers and comments about Mormonism. How many "response" threads did that produce? It's just unnecessary. A controversy doesn't need several additional commentary threads. It really makes us look foolish and petty to new people (sorry, CR Guy, no offense meant... I wasn't referring to this thread). But I honestly think they just ignore those, too. When you really want help, you will dig through a huge pile of sh** to get it if you have to. I wish we could all just drop this and move on.

[momof3]

I've never been a big poster here, but have come here often to read and research and appreciate how much folks share about their treatments and experiences. It's been a huge help to me over the last 3 years. I've always felt this place isnt quite as friendly to caregivers though so I've limited my posts.

It's getting ridiculous though with the fighting. Ive gotten to the point that it's not even worth weeding through the fighting to get to the important stuff. And I get the anger. I feel the anger too. I see the anger in my husband at his situation. It seems like folks are looking to pick fights because they are so angry at their situation..maybe this is a safer place to do it than in their "real" lives. I get it, but wish it would stop.

Its sad at how many newly diagnosed folks have probably moved right past this place as they didn't feel welcome due to religious or non religious beliefs, or just because the fighting is exhausting. I hope all stay and contribute in a positive manner - sharing treatments, fears, good news and bad.

[Kick'nAssCancer'sAss]

Finally!!!

[bitchslapped]

Respectfully submitting a request that these two threads be considered for deletion in their entirety, considering both are equally counterproductive/controversial:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=52241
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=52387

It's too late to lock them if damage control was the goal. The damage has been done.

The reason for the mass exodus last time this subject came up in March/April was Administration (not to be confused w/the moderators) was unresponsive to member requests for information/clarification. These kind of issues are poor advertisement for the mother site & worthy of attention for that reason alone.

Repeatedly suggesting that everyone behave & be kind is valid in a perfect world, may have even had some impact of which there is no way to determine that it did. Reprimands are not a realistic plan nor an effective strategy in dealing w/these types of flareups. We're expecting to hold the general public to a higher standard than we witness in politics. Ain't going to happen all of the time & is destructive when it does to the existing member base. I can appreciate tolerance being exercised, as we all have the capacity to say something that will offend someone, but somehow we need to find quicker solutions when we see things spiraling out of control. JMO.

BS

[Nik Colon]

Respectfully submitting a request that these two threads be considered for deletion in their entirety, considering both are equally counterproductive/controversial:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=52241
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=52387

It's too late to lock them if damage control was the goal. The damage has been done.

The reason for the mass exodus last time this subject came up in March/April was Administration (not to be confused w/the moderators) was unresponsive to member requests for information/clarification. These kind of issues are poor advertisement for the mother site & worthy of attention for that reason alone.

Repeatedly suggesting that everyone behave & be kind is valid in a perfect world, may have even had some impact of which there is no way to determine that it did. Reprimands are not a realistic plan nor an effective strategy in dealing w/these types of flareups. We're expecting to hold the general public to a higher standard than we witness in politics. Ain't going to happen all of the time & is destructive when it does to the existing member base. I can appreciate tolerance being exercised, as we all have the capacity to say something that will offend someone, but somehow we need to find quicker solutions when we see things spiraling out of control. JMO.

BS

I'm fine if they want to lock or remove my thread, as I said, we all make mistakes and at that time I was frustrated. I'm sorry if others were hurt or upset by it.

[annalexandria]

This forum would be much better if it was run by mods who are not participants and do not have personal friends on the site. There is a conflict of interest that comes into play here, and has led to problems off and on over the years. Although it is not as active, I post mostly at the site run by the ACS, as they have paid, neutral mods these days. Works really well.

[PGLGreg]

Although it is not as active, I post mostly at the site run by the ACS, as they have paid, neutral mods these days. Works really well.

I don't think that works really well. Their neutral mod Greta kicked me out when I protested the banning of a member over a right to religious speech issue. It may seem peaceful over there, but that's because the good guys got killed.