Hi AngelaN,
I'm sorry you're having to worry about this now, and the increased stress it's causing. I have had more experience than I ever wanted with this, but perhaps my experience will be of some help to you.
In January of 2012 my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma. He had a number of different chemos, none of which cured is his disease (as generally happens with lymphoma). He mostly worked through chemo. At one point he was on short-term disability, I guess for a couple of months. By 9/13 the lymphoma had progressed significantly. He could no longer work and was given 6-12 months to live. I got a lot of misinformation from his HR department, though it took me a long time to understand that they were not interested in helping. My husband worked as a physician for a very large health care system in Pittsburgh. He immediately went on short term disability. It was tax-free income because it was paid for by post-tax income. I think he got 60% of his salary, but it worked out the same because of the tax thing.
At the same time we completed paperwork for
accelerated death benefit payment. It took persistence and a lot of paperwork, and certification by our onc that he was not expected to survive a year. Ultimately the insurance company paid the claim, which was 75% of the policy amount. If he was not gone one-year later, we would love the residual 25% of the policy. (He did survive, thank God, butt has no life insurance coverage and absolutely cannot get any)
In May of last year he had a bone marrow transplant in Vermont and has been cancer-free since then. Once his short-term disability expired at 6 months he went on long-term disability. LTD is sometimes taxed (ours is) but it depends on if the premiums were paid with pre- or post-tax dollars. If your husband's disease was diagnosed AFTER he was employed, the employer provided STD and LTD cannot be discontinued. Due to my husband's age at disability (he's 68 now) his LTD only lasts 21 months (it will be ending in January). So with short- and long-term disability, his benefits provided great help for a total of 27 months. We bought our house in Vermont with the proceeds of his life insurance pay-out. We had to do this because our house in Pittsburgh didn't sell for a year and a half.
It's sounds like your best bet now is to get copies of both long- and short-term insurance policies and READ THEM CAREFULLY. Keep copies of all his medical stuff. I had to consult an attorney to make sure his benefits would continue if he resigned, which they did. My husband started receiving Social Security a couple of years ago because of his AGE, NOT HIS DISABILITY. This is very important! Had he gotten SS because of the cancer the disability insurance would deduct his SS benefit from his monthly disability payments. Since his SS benefit was due to age, not cancer, the disability company can't deduct that amount.
When you or your husband speak with Human Resources keep very careful notes about what they say, who said it, and when the conversation took place. Ask anyone you speak to to send you an e-mail summarizing the call. My husband's place was unwilling to do that and it took me quite a while to figure out why. Write EVERYTHING down (also when you speak with the insurance company, butt reading the policies is very important)
I hope this hasn't been too confusing. I'm certainly not a lawyer, butt I don't think his ex-wife can make a claim on the estate for child-support, butt maybe your husband should think about what he wants to do WRT support of his child(ren) if he does pass away. My husband's former wife has her own 1M policy on my husbands' life. They've been divorced >20 years, butt since the 1.5M he paid her in alimony (
) apparently wasn't enough, she be in especially great shape when he does pass.
Very best wishes to you,
Bev