Goodbye, my love.

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Goodbye, my love.

Postby jgall » Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:32 am

Hello friends. Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Once my husband entered hospice nothing seemed important other than spending every waking minute with him. I was so blessed to be able to work from home for the last two months of his life. Sadly he passed on August 15. The memorial service is tomorrow. It's just been a complete whirlwind.

I would like to say his passing was peaceful and in the final 6 hours it was mostly peaceful but the preceding three days were anything but. I guess it just happens sometimes especially when the heart is so healthy. But our hospice team was really great at helping us manage his pain and even though outwardly he appeared to be in pain I am pretty convinced he was not really experiencing the pain. His body may have been, but the "aliveness" had left his eyes and he really didn't seem to be there or present. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone. It's just the only way I can figure how to explain it.

Here is his obituary. He was truly an exceptional human being. My Facebook and email accounts have blown up with messages of love and support. I have been overwhelmed by how many people loved him. I always knew it but now I'm really feeling it.

I wish to thank this community for several years of knowledge, information sharing, and loving support. I don't know how I would've gotten through the last nearly 5 years without it.

DH Chris, 50, Dx Nov '10 Stg 4
cardiac arrest from 5-FU
Iri/Erbi, RFA, liver/colon resection, more Iri/Erbi
Oct14-Feb15 clinical trial
SIRT Apr15-unsuccessful
Stopped treatment May15
Hospice July15
Passed 8/15/15

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Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 10:34 am
Location: Kings park NY

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby Tanya » Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:41 am

So sorry for your lost.
Dx-32y.o. Anal cancer-stage 3.
Aug-Sep xeloda & radiation-30
November 12-MRI-bones clear
November 30-NED
Moms of two (3 & 12 y.o.)
Recurrence -01.19.2016
Colostomy and APR surgery - 01.27.2016
Possibly chemo - June

Posts: 174
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:39 pm

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby cmrl » Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:04 am

I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I can relate to this since I also lost my life partner of 32 years on 8/14. Everyone copes differently, but having people around you for support is the most important thing, in my opinion. It sounds as though you have that, and I'm sure the Memorial service will be a comfort.

Namaste, Carol
Resection of splenic flexure 7/24/13
T3N2BM0, Stage 3c,12/29 nodes
Folfox x12 9/13-3/14
CT scan 4/14, enlarged spleen, otherwise clear
CT 4/15, spleen WNL.
6/17 3 cm benign polyp at ileocecal valve, awaiting removal

Posts: 239
Joined: Thu May 21, 2015 8:35 pm

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby ozziej » Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:47 am

Sending you (((hugs))) from the other side of the world.
F 56 dx 11/14 Stage 1 RC (post EMR)
No neo-adjuvant or adjuvant chemo/RD
3/15 ULAR (open) temp loop ileo
5/15 ileo reversal
NED and hoping to stay that way!! : )

Posts: 221
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:26 am

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby jalusa » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:49 am

Sorry for your loss.

Hoping to get to resection with HAI pump.
Failed PVE - Searching for options
Chemo for life

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Facebook Username: Celeste Marie Comeau
Location: FL

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby pfCml73183 » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:56 am

I am sorry, Julia. It is hard when things don't go the way you were hoping.
I hope all your friends and family will keep you comfortable at this time.
Wife and BF to Peter, 54
Erbitux and Urelumab trial @MSKCC 3/15
went home 5/8/15

Posts: 6202
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby Lee » Wed Aug 19, 2015 9:20 am


I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you, your kids, other family members and friends.

((((HUGS))) to you all,

rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 16 years and counting!

Posts: 171
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 10:49 pm

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby lhawk0730 » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:16 am

Julia, I'm so sorry. Glad for Chris he is at peace, but sorry for how much you will miss him.
Daughter to Mom, age 71
Dx 10/14 RC - T3bN1bM0
Chemoradiation til 1/15
Surgery 2/15
Temp ileostomy
Failed Xelox round 4/15
1 round straight Xeloda 5/15 - discontinued
Ileo reversal 5/15
8/15 more Xeloda

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Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:56 pm
Location: Central NYS

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby BrownBagger » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:34 am

My condolences and sympathies, Julia. Chris fought the good fight. You were right there with him. Take care.
Eric, 58
Dx: 3/09, Stage 4 RC
Recurrences: (ongoing, lung, bronchial cavity, ribs)
Major Ops: 6/ RFA: 3 /bronchoscopies: 8
Pelvic radiation: 5 wks. Bronchial radiation—brachytheray: 3 treatments
Chemo Rounds (career):136
Current Chemo Cocktail: Xeloda & Erbitux & Irinotecan biweekly
Current Cocktail; On the Wagon (mostly)
Bicycle miles post-dx 10,477
Motto: Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did.

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Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby Crystald » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:39 am

So sad to learn another journey has ended, so sorry for your loss.
Age 58
DX Jul 2014 Stage IVb CRC metastatic, unknown primary, CEA 1826
Inoperable, Chemo for life
MSI: not tested
29 Jul 14 Port
30 Jul - 19 Jan 2015 Folfox (12 cycles) CEA 164.5
9 Feb 15 - 20 May Flofiri failed (6 cycles) CEA 417.0
17 Jul 15 - Initiated Vectibix CEA 555.5
17 Jul 2015 - 14 Jan 2016 Vectibix
8 Feb 2016 - 11 Apr 2016 Xeloda
26 Apr 2016 Hospice

Posts: 2298
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:07 am

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby ams5796 » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:45 am

I'm so sorry to read this. I wish you and your family peace and love.

Stage 3C (or 4?) Rectal Cancer 01/07
2/10 lung mets
3/11 VATS
6/11 VATS
7/13 lung met
2/14 SBRT
NED 8/14
5/17 scan and MRI found treated spine met

Posts: 241
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 1:44 pm
Facebook Username: teddimcfarland

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby Teddi » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:52 am

I am very sorry for your loss. Take care of each other as you grieve, and hang on to the memories.

47 at diagnosis
Colonoscopy, biopsy, CT, PET 6/14
Rectal cancer (tentatively) Stage III-b, MSS
Xeloda and radiation 25x finished 8/14
FOLFOX 5 cycles
Surgery 1/23/14 ~ T1N0MX ~ temp illeostomy
FOLFOX 3 cycles = total of 8
Illeostomy reversal 4/8/15
Clean scans x2, clear colonoscopy 9/15

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Frenchie's Wife
Posts: 959
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Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:53 am

Chris is on a new journey beyond the stars !! What a magnificent trip that must be !
He is now part of the universe. Embrace that thought, and my it bring you comfort.
Frenchie ((( HUGS )))
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

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Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby trapbear » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:59 am

I am so sorry for your loss.
Husband Dx with Stage 3 CC in Dec 07
Xelox Jan-July 08
Lung mets Jan 09
Folfiri plus Avastin Mar-May 10
5FU plus Avastin May 10-current
2 liver mets March 13, continue 5 FU & Avastin
liver RFA Oct 13, hospice June 14, at peace Sept 2, 2014

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Facebook Username: Riann Fletcher
Location: New Brunswick, Canada

Re: Goodbye, my love.

Postby DarknessEmbraced » Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:44 am

Julia I'm so sorry for your loss.*hugs* What a beautiful obituary! Sending you and your family as well as Chris' friends my deepest condolences.
Diagnosed 10/28/14, age 36
Colon Resection 11/20/14, LAR (no illeo)
Stage 2a colon cancer, T3NOMO
Lymph-vascular invasion undetermined
0/22 lymph nodes
No chemo, no radiation
Clear Colonoscopy 04/29/15
NED 10/20/15
Ischemic Colitis 01/21/16
NED 11/10/16
CT Scan moved up due to high CEA 08/21/17
NED 09/25/17
NED 12/21/18
Clear colonoscopy 09/23/19
Clear 5 year scans 11/21/19- Considered cured! :)

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