Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:11 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga.

Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby mackswife » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:50 pm

4 1/2 months after stopping treatment, my DH is declining rapidly. Home hospice services will begin this week. Our children and grandchildren have been with us as much as possible lately, but they must return home soon. Our daughter and her 3 girls live in another state...a nine hour drive. They will be leaving to go home tomorrow. We are hopeful the our daughter will be able to return before DH leaves this earth, but we know that tomorrow morning will be the last time he'll see these girls....the light of his life. I have no words to describe this heartache, but I know that some of you understand. Just wanted to share....

Husband IIIC;
7/12 - resection; 12 rounds folfox
CT/PET scans 4/13, 9/13 - NED
CT scan 3/14 - liver/LN mets
5/2/14- failed liver resection - peri. mets.
6 rounds of iri/avastin
8/26/14 - failed liver resect/HIPEC. dse. progression
9/14 - 3/15 - progression on chemo
3/23/15 - treatment stopped; working the bucket list

Posts: 836
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:23 pm
Location: Orcas Island, WA

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby orcasres » Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:12 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My father died of multiple myeloma a long time ago; this was before hospice services were common and he died at home with our GP stopping by daily to give him morphine shots. I was a high school teacher in another city and I knew that I needed to save my leave time for after my father passed away to help my mother, so I had to head back and said good bye to him knowing that I might never see him alive again and that turned out to be correct. It was a very difficult experience and I have only the most heartfelt wishes for you and your family. Lois
63 yo F
Colon resection Sept. 2010
pT3N0M0 Stage 2A
Medullary Tumor 6.5cm long
Lymphovascular invasion
Lynch negative
12 FOLFOX 11/2010 to 5/2011 8 w/Oxi
NED so far

Posts: 171
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 10:49 pm

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby lhawk0730 » Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:49 pm

Pattie, I'm just so sorry.
Daughter to Mom, age 71
Dx 10/14 RC - T3bN1bM0
Chemoradiation til 1/15
Surgery 2/15
Temp ileostomy
Failed Xelox round 4/15
1 round straight Xeloda 5/15 - discontinued
Ileo reversal 5/15
8/15 more Xeloda

Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 4:08 pm

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby Rasha15 » Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:51 pm

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers in this difficult time
DF July 2014 Dx Stage IVB CC at 50 yo
Aug 2014 - Ileostomy and started Folfiri w/ avastin
Oct 2014 - Bilateral pulmonary emboli, started on warfarin
July 2015 - Small bowel puncture, PEG tube placement
**Ongoing battle!

Nik Colon

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby Nik Colon » Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:00 am

I an so sorry :( many hugs to you and your family

Posts: 612
Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 1:32 am

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby Stanfordmom » Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:08 am

So sorry, sending you hugs and prayers.

DX 4/2/2014 at 44, stage 4, mets liver and ovaries
Mom to 2 boys
Three surgeries, HAI pump and lots of chemo

Posts: 665
Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 3:36 pm

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby cathy123 » Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:36 am

I am so very sorry. Sending prayers.

Diagnosed 10/14 low rectal cancer age 43
Clinical T2NXMX
Radiation/xeloda 12/14-1/15
LAR with temp Ileo 3/15
pT2N0M0, lymphatic invasion 0/37 nodes
4 xelox, 1 xeloda only
Reversal 9/15
Mom to 9&11 year olds

Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:49 pm

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby Laurettas » Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:23 am

I am so very sorry. I know how gut-wrenching this is. My grandkids didn't get to say good-bye because my husband died more quickly than any of us expected. They still miss him after 3 years.
DH 58 4/11 st 4 SRC CC
Lymph, peri, lung
4/11 colon res
5-10/11 FLFX, Av, FLFRI, Erb
11/11 5FU Erb
1/12 PET 2.4 Max act.
1/12 Erb
5/12 CT ext. new mets
5/12 Xlri
7/12 bad CT
8/12 5FU solo
8/12 brain met
9/12 stop tx
11/4/12 finished race,at peace

Posts: 726
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2015 12:16 pm

Re: Tellin the grandchildren "good-bye"

Postby JudeD59 » Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:59 pm

I'm so sorry and I'm glad you shared with us. When my father was ill, we took videos of my girls with him so that he could enjoy them in his final days and they could enjoy them after he passed. It wasn't anything special, just videos of them sitting on the couch together, or lying next to him in the hospital bed while he told them a story or asked about their day, or just talking, laughing, etc. but it meant the world to him and to the girls. When he is feeling well enough, can he Skype with them or at least talk to them on the phone? Are they little enough to draw pictures for him and mail them to him to hang near his bed?

I have no idea if any of this makes sense in your situation. It's just so sad and I wish I could help.

56 yrs old, wife, mother to 4 daughters
RC Stage II T3N0M0 DX April 2, 2015
6 cm. mid-rectum-CEA 121
Xeloda and radiation finished 06/15/15- CEA 242
CEA right before surgery 81
LAR performed 8/12/15 Temporary ileostomy
CEA 10-21-15 1.6
PET scan 11-4-15 All clear
Port installed 11/11/15
Folfox started 11/18/15
Folfox stopped due to bad reaction
Reversal 2/17/16
CEA 2/3/16 1.7
CEA 3/31/16 1.3
CT Scan 4/12/16 All Clear
Port removed 4/21/16
CEA 5/24/17 1.4

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