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Postby heidym21 » Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:36 pm

How do you deal with your emotions when your love one has metastatic cancer? And how do you deal with the emotions of your love one who has cancer?

How do you manage your emotions when your told you have metastatic cancer? And how do you deal with the emotions of your family members?

Is it normal to be angry (for moments) or feel anger toward your love one who has cancer?
My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer stage 3c on 4/2014
Had surgery to remove tumor. 19 lymph nodes removed all cancerous
Had chemo 12rounds finished on 10/2014
Cancer came back. Had fluids in her lungs. Fluids came back cancerous. So docs said its metastatic colon cancer. She's on chemo again. Tumor or tumors don't show up on PETScan nor CTScan. Docs say she Has an odd case

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Postby Lee » Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:47 pm

heidym21 wrote:

Is it normal to be angry (for moments) or feel anger toward your love one who has cancer? [/color]


Cancer is a scary diagnoses. Fear of tomorrow and the unknown. Your feeling/emotions will run the whole spectrum a few times and back again.

Learn to deal with life ONE DAY AT A TIME. You will not be able to tackle this mountain in one large bite, butt rather several bites a day over a long period of time.

My husband was the caregiver for me. We kind of decided early on he would be there for the big appointments, I will try and do the other appointments sole. On a few occasions/appointments, they requested that my husband attend. On one such occasion, therory was caner victim gets all the attention. This was one meeting, where hubby had some input. Turned out healthy for both of us.

Remember we are here, it's ok to vent here. We really do get it.

Best to you,

rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 16 years and counting!

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Facebook Username: JanetKlostermann


Postby janklo » Sat Jul 18, 2015 9:04 pm

Heidi, it's perfectly ok for you to A) get something to help you sleep B) talk to a therapist and C) get on an anti depressant with everything going on. Or please vent here or ask advice. But talk to your doctor, you may need help going through all this with your parents.
Mom to 28 yo daughter
colectomy 2/22/10, stage 3C, signet cell
7/2011 peritoneal mets
HIPEC September 2012, difficult recovery
Hospice 10/31/2012, Died 11/16/2012

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Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:31 am
Location: Ashland City, Tn.


Postby MSJC » Sun Jul 19, 2015 10:33 am

Over the last several years my family has been through the mill. My father in law had his bladder and prostate removed (cancer), had his aortic heart valve replaced. My mother in law had a bad stroke with left side paralysis. So the in laws move in with us for nine months, during this time I lost my career and went out on disability. My wife already has primary lymphodema. Just as everything seemed to be getting better, my father in law was in an auto accident and suffered some major injuries. I started a long battle with depression. More mini strokes for mother in law. Cancer diagnosis for me. Father in law breaks hip then has a major bowel obstruction at the exact time I am having my reversal surgery, same hospital, same floor, three doors down the hall. I am now OK, he barely pulled through. During all of this chaos we have felt every emotion possible, from feeling like the world was caving in around us, to anger, fear, desperation, asking if God is mad and raining down his wrath upon us, all the normal whys and what did we do?... Your life has changed and you have every right to be upset, you now have to deal with serious health issues along with all the other things going on in your life. Somehow we managed to make it, we are beaten and scarred, but we have endured, and so will you. VENT!!... a lot and often!
Mike, 49 y/o at Dx 1/14 stage 3c
low rectal cancer 7 nodes positive
2/14 5 weeks chemo/rad. 5-fu
4/14 Lar gallbladder removed,
temp ileostomy
5/14 8 rds Folfox
10/14 reversal surgery
5/15 clean colonoscopy
6/15 clean ct scan

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