A friend pushing 'Snake oil cures"

[Nik Colon]

Maybe I got it because they have been a pain in my ass for 32 years.

Judy

Lol! Good one!

[behconsult]

My cousin kept sending me those cure for cancer emails that the "drug companies don't want you to know about." I was all jacked up on steroids and chemo and she keeps sending me the stupid ass ads. I kept my cool. This is the same family member who told me when I said I had cancer, "maybe you swallowed a chicken bone."

[JudeD59]

Maybe I got it because they have been a pain in my ass for 32 years.

Judy

Lol! Good one!

[wandalein]

M "maybe you swallowed a chicken bone."

I think I would have told her where to put the chicken bone. The last three years have been a real journey and I realize how naive I used to be and that most of these people who dribble this kind of stuff are at best naive at worst stupid with what comes out of their mouths. And yes, they may actually make people ill or at the very least speechless (and it takes a lot to make me speechless), and I often in the past three years find myself at a loss for words with the stuff people spew. Also, I have learned not to internalize things...shake my head, walk away, smile & wave (whilst walking really fast).

[Annemiek]

I have been going nuts over my dear sis who keeps reminding me I should eat more healthily, and eat more brocoli because if I did that earlier I might not have gotten cancer at all. I sometimes drive around town looking at people thinking, he's fat, he should have cancer, she clearly eats too much, she might have cancer... Wwooo she smokes at the entrance of the hospital, she's doooooooomed. Partly angry, partly synical, partly laughing at my own nonsense.

I see so many people that look far less healthy than I ever did, so why don't they have what I have? Or worse..

Annemiek

[Ron50]

There are some very un endearing traits to human nature, This year in Australia we have had more shark attacks that we have had for ages. Every where you hear the same comment. Well they go into their territory THEY DESERVE TO GET EATEN!!! Who deserves to get eaten by a freaking shark just because they like to surf. It makes my blood boil. Unfortunately we are all doing something extremely dangerous , it's called living. I guess I am not going to be found dead of natural causes wrapped in cotton wool. GO me. Ron.

[drw]

I am 4 months out from reversal. I am having better days, but I can honestly say that this has been the worst part by far. When I have a particularly bad day my mom asks what I ate. I know she means well but after 4 months of this I really have to bite my tongue. Sometimes I just have bad days....I didn't cause it, but she always says something to the effect that it's my fault. Bless her little heart.

[MSJC]

Maybe I got it because they have been a pain in my ass for 32 years.

That's a good one!

[MSJC]

I have been going nuts over my dear sis who keeps reminding me I should eat more healthily, and eat more brocoli because if I did that earlier I might not have gotten cancer at all. I sometimes drive around town looking at people thinking, he's fat, he should have cancer, she clearly eats too much, she might have cancer... Wwooo she smokes at the entrance of the hospital, she's doooooooomed. Partly angry, partly synical, partly laughing at my own nonsense.

I see so many people that look far less healthy than I ever did, so why don't they have what I have? Or worse..

Annemiek

I've tried to make sense of it all in my own mind also, so far nothing has. Many years ago, I worked with an older fellow who smoked the most rancid, vile smelling cigars, he would actually run an ice pick through the center so it would draw better. Every time he took a big long draw there would be a huge cloud of disgusting smoke drifting my way...didn't seem to matter where I was, it came toward me! It made me sick, gave me headaches and made me want to kick his old ass, but all I could do was hope that one day he would feel some of the misery that he had caused for other people. He did, he died a slow, agonizing, painful, gasping for air, smoking related death. I do feel bad for anyone dying, but he inflicted a lot of pain (while laughing about it) intentionally, to others.

[canadiandaughter]

Sadly, the blame game has been created by studies and media. How many times have we heard that smoking causes cancer, eating red meat, not eating your veggies etc etc etc. Even though it is annoying as hell, society has created it. My dad has lost a lot of family members to cancer. We always felt most of them were self inflicted. Lung cancer was the heavy smoker, liver was the alcoholic. Lots of bad lifestyle choices and hard living. Since dad got cancer and I started coming here, I am more inclined to think that maybe the family has some genetic issues. Out of 9 kids only 2 died of something other then cancer and 1 has not had cancer yet of the two that are still living. Not the greatest odds! My one aunt has had 2 of her 4 children die in late 30s to cancer.
I think as well, that people telling you about things they have heard about that have "cured" cancer, is not their way of being rude, it is their way of thinking they might help you. Until you are actually on this god forsaken journey, you have no idea what you say that bothers people. My brother posts links on my fb wall weekly of things that cure cancer, the latest being dandelions. My comment was, well that one is easy to get, no shortage of those on my farm!! I know he is just praying he can find something that will help my dad so you can't knock him for that.
Sometimes I think we have to remember back to the times before we were thrown into this tornado and think about things we might have said or done and cut people some slack. They mean well! Learn to laugh it off. If they are relentless about shoving at you, go ahead and punch them!!

[MSJC]

They mean well! Learn to laugh it off. If they are relentless about shoving at you, go ahead and punch them!!

I agree, most people do mean well. It's the ones who keep on pushing and telling me how to "cure" cancer that ruffles my feathers, especially when they don't have cancer.

[Val*pal]

canadiandaughter: you have more tolerance than I have. I get what you're saying, and I do "excuse" the random idiotic things people occasionally say, but when a person continually keeps harping on snake oil crap, I do question their motives. I don't think it's just because they want to help; I think they have a messed up way of thinking (bordering on total ignorance) and a lack of empathy. I also think they have weird ego problems that make them believe they know all.

Of course, I'm thinking of my sister-in-law who never lets a family gathering go by without commenting on how each of us is eating the wrong things, etc. When my husband was suffering from his colon cancer, I finally told her that I did not want to hear any more snake oil remedies. I told her that I prefer proven, rational, well thought out and documented information, not crap.

And don't get me started on those who encourage positive thinking. My husband was one of the most positive people I've ever known who was convinced he'd beat his cancer up until his last two days. Cancer is a complex, little understood occurrence that usually hits randomly. Anyone who believes if ph levels and all that other sh*$ needs to be told to keep it to themselves.

[MSJC]

canadiandaughter: you have more tolerance than I have. I get what you're saying, and I do "excuse" the random idiotic things people occasionally say, but when a person continually keeps harping on snake oil crap, I do question their motives. I don't think it's just because they want to help; I think they have a messed up way of thinking (bordering on total ignorance) and a lack of empathy. I also think they have weird ego problems that make them believe they know all.

Of course, I'm thinking of my sister-in-law who never lets a family gathering go by without commenting on how each of us is eating the wrong things, etc. When my husband was suffering from his colon cancer, I finally told her that I did not want to hear any more snake oil remedies. I told her that I prefer proven, rational, well thought out and documented information, not crap.

And don't get me started on those who encourage positive thinking. My husband was one of the most positive people I've ever known who was convinced he'd beat his cancer up until his last two days. Cancer is a complex, little understood occurrence that usually hits randomly. Anyone who believes if ph levels and all that other sh*$ needs to be told to keep it to themselves.

Well said! I've been trying to avoid the confrontations, but it seems inevitable. I'm to the point of not biting my tongue anymore!

[exaussie]

So funny Judy...blame them
The best thing oncologist told our 25 yr old son when diagnosed was nothing he did or ate or drank made him get stage 4 terminal cancer. There were things that didn't help but at that age none of those started a tiny cancerous polyp in his colon probably when he was still in his teens.

[MSJC]

So funny Judy...blame them
The best thing oncologist told our 25 yr old son when diagnosed was nothing he did or ate or drank made him get stage 4 terminal cancer. There were things that didn't help but at that age none of those started a tiny cancerous polyp in his colon probably when he was still in his teens.

I guess we all try to make some sense out of this screwed-up disease, how did I get it, why, etc, when there really is no good answer. I admire your oncologists wisdom and compassion...my heart breaks for your family and for all those here who have lost loved ones... truly sorry for your loss.