Important letter - attn: all scared and lost

[curious56]

Thanks so much for posting this, my dear friend. I haven't ordered the book, yet -- still REALLY busy.

I don't "fit" in this group..............never have, probably never will. I lose no sleep over this. I visit from time to time because there are some people here that say things I want and NEED to hear.

I could have easily written what Paul said -- I know quite a few people who also feel this way. The ONLY part I disagreed with was

Stress is the cause of migraines, cancer and many other ailments.

I would have changed two words -- "Stress MAY BE the cause........"

My dear Vilca, I have learned in my long life (I'm old, too ) that you cannot change people -- even when you see them miserable, in pain, depressed, dysfunctional, hopeless. The ONLY people we can change are ourselves (I needed God's help). But, I love you SO much for trying. You are soooooo very precious -- TRULY wanting peace, comfort, health, happiness, survival, etc. for ALL of us.

One of my former students was instantly killed in a car wreck this weekend -- mid-thirties with two young children. Cancer sucks......OTHER stuff sucks, too. I know that YOU understand what I mean. (((HUGS)))

I continue prayers for you and everyone else in this forum.

Love,
j

[Voxx66]

I'm not going to say much here but I find his advice sophomoric and not particularly useful. And yes, that tone creeps in here in some of these posts of new age superiority that turns me off to say the least.

[CRguy]

With all due (tons) of respect, I disagree with you, CRguy, ....

AND Mega respects back to you my friend .... you better keep on disagreeing with me any time ..... as you see fit,
and bringing so much to this forum in such a respectful way.

I sometimes get a bit bitchy and curt .... SOOOOO .. apologies if you may have taken it that way

Like George Patton once said :
" If everyone is thinking the same way ...
then somebody is not thinking ! "

This forum needs folks who will bring different perspectives, and I value yours.

Cheers and Harmony
CR

[Cb75]

Vilca,

Thank you for your post. Much of what is written, also resonates with me. Of course, everything is open to each individuals interpretation and impression. I get you and what you are saying. I also have so much respect and love for you and what you are doing. I appreciate your openness about your treatment in terms of things to try and updating people here. The choices made are very personal, what one body needs may not be the same for another, despite the fact that we have the same disease. There is also something powerful to the mind body connection, and the placebo effect. The research is out there, in both the conventional and the alternative world.

I think we share a similar view and outlook. Much of what you say, I can agree with. A year ago, this was not the case. Three years ago, it wouldn't have been a thought. Five year ago, I would have scoffed and told you where to go! It is such a personal thing. What I find solace and peace in, you may not. It is this way for each of us, yet, we are all connected in some way. A member of my treatment 'team' that I often speak to about things like this, he recently said something along the lines that most in my situation don't live long enough to make the mental shift that I have. This shift could be good, it could be bad, but for now I'll take it as it helps me deal with this disease and hope for another tomorrow.

With love,

cb<3

[John72]

My dear fellows and friends,

I find myself visiting this forum infrequently recently. Just feels like it. But, when I do visit, I find the same desperate/morbid notes, or the same denial stage notes, or the same hopeful notes from NED crowd, or happy camper/open shirt (ok, shoot me, like Russians say without fear), and, rather rarely though, a sobering realistic calm notes like Maya or Karin writes, or Carm, or Celene, or Kenny, or rp1954, or GrouseMan, DK37, some others - people who learned to think more of what they can do, instead of their/DH, DW, etc cancer..... It is always IS WHAT IT IS.

Actually despite a huge range of thinking...people from literally all over the spectrum, colonclub forums are simultaneously one of the most intelligent and most compassionate forums on the internet. Kumbaya enough that it irks me sometimes until I step back and see where the caring is coming from. And I can't imaging having had to fight this disease without the wealth of knowledge this forum provided. I was able to speak to my oncologist in a logical manner and give consent to treatments WITHOUT having to go research it first. And thats because I read this forum and someone else had already been through it. I was told by a very smart caring friend...I made the mistakes and paid for them. The lessons learned are yours for free. You do not have to pay the price to obtain the lesson. And this is true. Because someone here at colon club already went through treatment, I knew exactly what to ask and exactly what to expect.

Things change in cancer world fast right now. If you look at the very old messages, you will see the difference - the choices of tx, the trials, the research news,... Things will be what they will be by the time we have our final struggle - be it tomorrow, or in a year..... You can only put your efforts in helping your body and hope for the best. All other feelings and emotions (usually, negative in cancer cases) have to go. Positive comprehension of a beautiful opportunity to live life on Earth and we were given by birth is welcome... The worse enemies of your body are fear and hatred - please, understand - you are killing yourself with these feelings.... I know, I am not an authority, and I myself have NO AUTHORITIES in my whole life - I've never looked up to ANYONE..... But PLEASE just read what is below and the book that Andy21 advised - I bought it on Kindle, it is priceless and it is a MUST READ to all with cancer - IT IS CALLED "YOU ARE THE PLACEBO'.... You might or might not take my advice, but one thing I am absolutely sure about is that YOUR CANCER STORY MIGHT BE VERY DIFFERENT AFTER YOU READ THESE TWO IMPORTANT ITEMS OF WISDOME AND TRUTH.

Actually things don't happen all that fast and far more trials fail than succeed. Putting yourself in a mentally good place is important, but I'm scratching my head as to how you are able to interpret what other mostly anonymous posters are thinking and feeling.

Just if you are interested in things I learn along the way thru alternatives, may be it would be beneficial for some to know what to expect - I already published my results (not very well delineated , though, I guess) about Hoxsey and Dr. Burton ALA/Naltrexon/Cimetidine and something else, escaped me for a moment. So, someone will hold a memory on what not to spend time for, speaking of the alternatives. Ren tried Hyperthermia, all this MAF yogurts, tace, Mistletoe, dendrintic cells and more, he did not succeed. I am trying other things, might not succeed too, but at least others would not spend time and money doing the same thing.

I've said it so many times on this forum that I'm getting a bit tired. All of the above paragraph is bullcrap. Theres a few supplements that help you deal with the side effects of chemo. Those have been effectively explained on this forum. There are a few supplements that very well may help keep cancer from recurring. These include aspirin, excercise, and a very few other probably less to non effective items. And a good diet helps everyone. That too. Everything else is horse dung.

[Nik Colon]

Dear Nikki, I understand, and here is probably the only place where you do not have to apologize for the mood or feelings - so, do not worry..... Thank you for the explanation - I do see your point.

Thanks Vilca, I know you were coming from a good place. (((Hugs)))

[vilca11]

Thank you, Stu for your kind words. I am never offended by arguments or critics, so do not worry about hurting me - and, btw, you did not say anything anyone would sense as offensive, neither did others, just arguments and I like arguments, they help to crystallize the essence... especially, keeping in mind the nature of our Board. So, none of the responders wrote anything offensive. It is just possible that my messages do not get across as intended, because that type of thinking might seem unacceptable, or strange, or stupid for many. And, besides, I am Russian and some people might be transferring their understandable attitude to Russian actions - misplaced anger - to my account.

It is much easier to live life the way governments planned it for you - billions of people are doing exactly that all their life, because they were conditioned into that by their environment. We all are born, are graduated, married, had children, worked all life, not asking too many question and being afraid/dependent on the society thinking models.....the word zombie comes to mind... complacency is not always bad, it is everyone's choice how to live their life, but I do not see it as a wise way to spend time on Earth - time that we all are so lucky to get, thanks to our mothers (if that is the more acceptable way for you to interpret Life and how we come into it).

I CAN'T imagine life without questions, new knowledge, experiences and lots of sharing. There are eyes opening events in everyone's life. Just not everyone pays attention to these events, because majority is interested in following the known path....the government one. They simply do not have time to think between the job, household, debts, diseases and TV. I am not saying anything new now, am I? We all know that. It is just not everyone has time and desire to think about it. I am just a reminder for them - anything is possible in this life, take risks, you will get rewards if you are not afraid, argue, look for the answers, find them, accept them or deny them.... But Look....And first of all, look inside... The major discovery is there, in you.

I was fortunate to have all my experiences - it made me who I am and gave me strength to withstand all tragedies I have been thru with dignity, honesty, honor and respect to others. That is about the only thing I am really proud of - pride is an ego and I am trying not to give in to it, but may be I do not manage it too well. I just want to share with my fellow cancer patients what helped me to keep sanity, not to fear, not to despair, to stay focused on the goal and stay happy even with cancer.

I just want to help them to NOT DIE multiple times while waiting and being afraid of dying. I share bits of what opened to me thru the last 45 years of my life - the human abilities (ANY HUMAN) are so underused because 95% of our brain is closed to us, there are million things that are still a big secret to public, there are controversial theories, new scientific discoveries, showing that we misunderstood the true picture, origin and mechanism of the World - the world that is full of UNKNOWN... It took me so many hard years to see at least a glimpse of the true possibilities.... I want others to see it sooner.... I so wish, I did....

Cancer, or no cancer, we all value life, but we know so little about it. I feel ashamed that I realized so many things too late....And, perhaps, will not have a chance to speed up my "growth" process for the lack of time. But I am glad I managed to learn at least that much. No regrets, next life.... I briefly mentioned before what my life was about ONLY to show others that I had my share of hard times and that they hear it from someone who went thru enough hell BEFORE cancer. And came out of - ok, pardon my French - what others would call "deep shit" as a winner...May be I should have asked how many have seen the brain of their ONLY living relative on the walls covered by blood, AFTER their parents were gone......... May be then it would be understandable that I just want to show they hear it not from an imbecile.... For me, it does matter WHO is talking... Have idiosyncrasy with stupidity....

Oh, wanted to send and saw other responses while writing between sleeps (did not sleep all night). My dear Jana and Carmen, thank you so much for all your loving and kind words - you know, in one Russian movies about teenagers, there was a phrase that my generation was repeating for quite a long time - "Happiness is when you are understood". I love and deeply respect both of you too and value your attitude and approach very much. I so hope, that we manage to live the time we still have with that attitude and approach to the end. Jana, my dearest friend, you are going thru awful times and you never complained here. I am always thinking about you - you do not even realize that you are pretty much a hero with a huge heart! Carmen's brave spirit is another example of how one can manage and feel thru the battles we all have. I can say it about many others here, and they are fine, I am not writing for them. I am writing for those who have not been thru the cancer battle long enough to have a mental shift and for those who has been long enough in our mCRC world , but does not accept the idea of help from within..... So, they stay in much worse mental state than possible to achieve in times of troubles.....

CRguy - of course, you cant offend me - I respect our differences too much and truly enjoy your character and wits. I am sure, I am not the only one here, who had a mental shift along or before the cancer. Together, we can come closer to Life and understand it much better. For some, that journey ends up with peace, sanity, happiness, desire to console the whole world, all those lost, sick, poor, all who needs love, understanding, help, all who are less fortunate.... No matter their own cancer. The focus drastically changes and is no longer about you and your family. It is like putting the right glasses on. Do not know how to explain that in a right way, but the change is tremendous when the focus is re-addressed.

No, I do not try to change people, it is futile and I know better.... But I want to do what I still can do for struggling others - to share how I see a myriad possibilities to deal with our situations, so that may be they will find at least some peace and love and empathy in this very challenging times, instead of feeling doomed, scared, lonely and desperate about the future. Or may be it will give them just some ideas of how much the same, or different, people can feel or live, regardless of circumstances.

Hmmm... came out too long, but I am writing it for a few day already. I certainly did not cover in this post all I wanted, since I do not see anyone particularly benefiting from it. So, I would prefer to close the subject. Thanks to all commenters - you have no idea how much I respect a good argument, so you do not have to be apologetic about being critical of my posts. I learn a lot here, same as others - is not that what it is all about - sharing and learning and choosing the best way to handle our time on our blue planet? And, of course, apology to those who were upset with my posts - I did not want to hurt anyone's feeling, that is why I wrote all the above - usually, I do not get into explanation of my intentions or actions. But since some people might feel hurt or upset (from what I gather so far), I decided to do it.
Hugs and love to all, Stella/Vilca

[ktwmn]

"Happiness is when you are understood."

Vilca, that is very profound. Thank you for sharing so much of your thought processes and your beautiful Russian soul.

[radnyc]

Great post. Good luck with your alternative treatments and do keep us posted.