Dear Scotty,
Shame on the idiots that flamed anyone HERE for expressing their true feelings. I think "we" have all learned the right to speak openly & honestly about anything that has to do with the "Cancer Experience"-which includes mentally, emotionally & physically. By "anything", that excludes the taboos of religion, race, gender, politics
, and direct "personal" attacks. IMO- your post is very much in line with the dialogue that belongs HERE. Your post may help you & anyone else facing this same issue. I admit that now that my hubby is gone, I too sometimes look at my agenda, which no longer includes trying to save his life, and it seems unimportant in the big scheme of things. It is now focused on my mom, 3 sons and how we are trying to heal & move forward. Important, TRUE- as important or all consuming- NO. These deadlines are pale in comparison.
I Guess I have seen it though
- when someone has on "off day" & it is "easier" to direct a flame thrower at someone else, perhaps to make their dilemma not quite so bad. Sad days, Very SAD DAYS indeed.
PLEASE do not duck for cover, or feel like you have to stay away. I m positive there are many HERE in similar shoes, who may be able to lend a comforting ear & shoulder for you to lean on. Cancer can screw us up big time.... like PTSD, it takes it's toll mentally, emotionally & even physically. If you cannot find what you need here- I encourage you to not leave this bottled in. Find someone- friend, family, professional or US to help you through & find the sparkle in your days. Gosh only knows, I have been through a tsunami of feelings throughout my hubby's journey & sometimes it feels even more so in the aftermath with our 3 sons. THIS PLACE has been my safe haven for holding onto my sanity, more than once.
Maybe start a sport that gives you a little "edgy" feeling, like cliff climbing.... if even in an indoor environment with a pad at the floor, ropes & harnesses to start, LOL
I'm sure your SEAL buddy may be a willing partner
CONGRATS on making it to the other side of a Cancer Diagnose
That news will be like sweet music to many still struggling
A friend,
Vicki