3 Years & Nervous

[jean60]

This month marked 3 years since my diagnosis of stage 3B rectal cancer. I’ve walked the path, stumbled often, fell sometimes, got back up always. Blah blah blah blah. Good things have happened. Wonderful things have happened. Difficult things have happened. I have continued to work at the career that I love. Life has gone on.
Lately, though, I’ve been feeling not so good. Belly pain. Increased gas. Distention. REALLY tired. Feel kind of dizzy without really being dizzy.
I am scheduled for my next CT scan on the 11th of June. My first scan since last June. As I get closer to the date, I am feeling anxious/resigned/optimistic/scared ****less/you name it. I think it’s somewhat worse because I am, as noted above, just not feeling great.
I wanted to post here about this. I wanted to post because I am human and I want to communicate my feelings to people who can understand. Until now, I have kept myself from doing so because it feels so wrong in so many ways to write about being worried when other people on this forum are experiencing some really bad stuff. (the word ‘stuff’ is not sufficient but it will have to do for now).
So here I am. Feeling some anxiety. Some fear. And feeling badly about it but making the decision to share anyway. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Jean

[elise]

Jean, I have no concrete advice but wanted to let you know that I read to the end, that I'm thinking of you as we walk a similar path. You may not see us walking with you but we are here.

Chin up, get the scan, deal with whatever comes after when you know for sure.

Elise

[JudeD59]

Jean,

I'm only in the beginning of treatment, so I don't know the hell of scan anxiety yet, but I don't think anyone on here would want you to bottle up your anxiety just because they are going through "stuff" that you aren't. We are all going through or have gone through "stuff" and we are all very different, but for all of us, one thing is absolutely the same and that's the fact that cancer sucks.

I'm sorry that you are having issues and are worrying. I will pray that your issues are from something minor and unrelated to cancer. And I hope you will continue to share on here because I think every post not only helps the person who wrote it, but can help someone else going through similar issues later on.

Hang in there.

Judy

[justin case]

Oh yea, It's been over 3 years for me also. The longer I go from surgery, the more gas I get, and heartburn is daily. Of course I'm eating anything I desire, and I know these things will give me these symptoms. I'm probably more active than I was for years, so muscle pains show their ugly head. I figure all this gas, heartburn, and muscle pain, feels like cancer, but I know cancer won't hurt, until you can do nothing about it.
Hmmm
Michael

[bjones1128]

Jean,

I have gone through a lot (see below) and am still fighting every day. But do not feel bad about posting your worries. That's what we are here for. I get anxious before every scan and every CEA test. I know when I start feeling bad that things usually are not going to go well but everyone is different. Yours may turn out perfect! Whether things turn out well or not, keep posting your worries on here. In the meantime, try to eat well and keep your chin up. I'll be praying for you.

Barbara

[justin case]

Jean,

I have gone through a lot (see below) and am still fighting every day. But do not feel bad about posting your worries. That's what we are here for. I get anxious before every scan and every CEA test. I know when I start feeling bad that things usually are not going to go well but everyone is different. Yours may turn out perfect! Whether things turn out well or not, keep posting your worries on here. In the meantime, try to eat well and keep your chin up. I'll be praying for you.

Barbara

I get anxious every time I feel a pain, it has to be cancer. I too, hope after 3 years, you are out of the woods and you have more pleasant days ahead.
Michael

[Bev G]

Hello Jean,

It's nice to hear from, butt I feel for you and what you're going through. I hope your scan will be clear and all the discomfort you have is....well, nothing dangerous. I really glad you posted what you did, and hope you feel a bit better for writing it. I've often thought we have uncomfortable stuff that comes and goes routinely, and I think we focus more on it when a scan is coming up. I do anyway. We are here for you and with you.

Love,

Bev

[orcasres]

Hello, Jean,

I think that everyone on this board understands what you feel. I have had so many aches and pains since my treatment that I never had before I got cancer and even though I am almost five years out from a 2a diagnosis (September) it does not take much to get the worry machine in gear. I have had horrible hot flashes since menopause (2007). The only break was when I was on chemo, but they started up with a vengeance shortly after chemo was over. I am told by my onc and my former gp that it is just menopause and there is little I can do (I have a history of blood clots so HRT is not possible and I have not had any luck with any OTC or prescribed meds including gabapentin) So my GP just retired and I decided to talk with her replacement. She said it is probably menopause, but other options are TB, which she doubted, and cancer, which sent me into a ridiculous funk. Even though I am monitored for CRC still, I have a family history of multiple myeloma and, of course, there is always the fear of recurrence. Fortunately all tests are negative and I am settling for a long life with hot flashes, I guess. So I understand why you are nervous and scared and I hope and believe you will find that your scans will be clear and you will get some help for your symptoms. I bet that the symptoms will seem a little less serious after you get the scan behind you. Good luck and never apologize for being nervous. You've earned the right.


Lois

[Delinda2]

This is absolutely the place to share the nerves & worries, the aches & pains. Someone elses "stuff" doesn't mean your "stuff" isn't important. Sharing the load makes it easier and it's what we do best here. People who aren't living it don't really get it - no matter how much they care. Just know that we understand, we care, we get it. Best of luck, I'll be swinging chickens for you & hoping your problems are ones easily fixed. Scanxity sucks! Take care. XXOXO, Delinda

[lpas]

Good luck, Jean. I've had only limited experience with it so far but scanxiety really sucks. Please remember that, no matter what, we're all here rooting for you. I hope you'll keep us posted.

[skypup]

Jean, dear friend, of course this IS a time of high anxiety! And we want to be here to support you through. (((supporting Jean))) I think the hardest time I had was when I was NED and waiting for potential bad news. It's just hard, hard, hard. And weird body stuff can only make it worse. I don't know about you, but every time I had a scan when NED, I had the weirdest things crop up, odd aches and pains. I'm so glad you posted so we could try and help, even if only by understanding. And now I know to hold you in that good light until the scan and you can tell us good news! Good news is the best on this forum!!
Many hugs,
Theresa

[NZJay]

Not intending to sound dismissive or patronising, but anxiety and tension can cause digestive issues and certainly dizziness and lethargy. I get fairly strong physical symptoms when I'm in an anxious state for an extended period of time.
Try to remember, the worry will only hurt not help you. And hey, it's three years! You're past the dreaded two-year hump. Best wishes for your scan; I look forward to reading your good results .

[DarknessEmbraced]

I hope that your scans come back clear and that your symptoms turn out not to be serious.*hugs* Always feel free to share your feelings on here! I had a clear colonoscopy post surgery. I have my ct scans October 5th. I've been having a really hard time with my asthma and allergies. I'm on a prednisone taper and had to slow it down because my asthma is getting worse again. I'm tapering down more slowly to see if it helps. It's hard not be anxious. Please let us know how your scans go. I will be thinking of you.*hugs*