Are your oncologists like politicians, too?

[KWT]

I wonder how they do it. I have been told bad news a couple times and I wonder afterwards why anyone would do that job.

.
I can draw you a map. lol

$$$$$$$


Sorry for the Dbl. post

[CRguy]

Respectfully, if I may come at this from the doctor side ... ?????
(( disclaimer : VET doctor here BUTT also 8 year CRC patient ... so I think I gots me some traction on this topic .... ))

Ever, yourself, had to look into another human being's eyes and tell them they were going to die ?
Ever done it day after day for years ?
Ever knew that you did not have all the answers but knew folks were relying on you to find a solution ... to a problem which may may NOT have any answer ?

Not being bitchy to ma' homies who are feeling frustration right now.
Giving a side which is only ONE side of the doctor patient equation I have lived for 34 years, and 8 years respectively.

If this shit was easy on ANYBODY ..... anybody would do it right ?
WE who deal with it are in a minority and the docs who treat us in an even smaller one.

Bitch, rant, vent ... but just remember there is also a human being on the "doctor" side of things and I can assure you all .... docs do not want you or your loved ones to have bad outcomes any more than we do.

BTDT
many
many
many times
...too "preachy" that's Ok feel free to ignore me, but at least consider the other side of the conversation.

JMO and I will let y'all know how I am feeling after my next scan

Cheers and Harmony on the Journey
CRguy

[justin case]

Respectfully, if I may come at this from the doctor side ... ?????
(( disclaimer : VET doctor here BUTT also 8 year CRC patient ... so I think I gots me some traction on this topic .... ))

Ever, yourself, had to look into another human being's eyes and tell them they were going to die ?
Ever done it day after day for years ?
Ever knew that you did not have all the answers but knew folks were relying on you to find a solution ... to a problem which may may NOT have any answer ?

Not being bitchy to ma' homies who are feeling frustration right now.
Giving a side which is only ONE side of the doctor patient equation I have lived for 34 years, and 8 years respectively.

If this shit was easy on ANYBODY ..... anybody would do it right ?
WE who deal with it are in a minority and the docs who treat us in an even smaller one.

Bitch, rant, vent ... but just remember there is also a human being on the "doctor" side of things and I can assure you all .... docs do not want you or your loved ones to have bad outcomes any more than we do.

BTDT
many
many
many times
...too "preachy" that's Ok feel free to ignore me, but at least consider the other side of the conversation.

JMO and I will let y'all know how I am feeling after my next scan

Cheers and Harmony on the Journey
CRguy

I'll just comment on this for a moment. I was feeling really bad one day during chemo/rad. I called my radiation oncologist, and she picked up the phone ( no answering service or voice mail) She was cooking dinner for her children
There are caring doctors who do all they can; butt even I get pissed off, when I go out of my way to be my best, (when I could settle for average,) and there will still be someone who is less than thrilled with my performance.
Michael

[jhocno197]

I do understand that it must be an incredibly difficult job; I certainly don't want to have to tell countless people they are likely going to die very much sooner than they'd expected...

The whole thing just sucks so much...My husband did not want to be in the room when I asked the questions, so the doctor was just talking to me...it seems to me like he thinks it's really bad, but won't just come out & say it...I think I want him to just tell me, so I can prepare, but maybe I really am not ready to hear it so bluntly.

I think also I just need to whine & complain somewhere... I try to keep everything bottled up most of the time so I don't freak out the kids or our parents.

Thank you all for your sharing your viewpoints; it's nice to hear different opinions/thoughts on things, so that I might learn something new!

[Laurettas]

jhocno, I know exactly what you mean. I needed that also--time to prepare, talk, make plans. But the doctors were unwilling to have that discussion. My husband's cancer was a rare, extremely aggressive cancer but not one time would my husband's oncologists acknowledge that and work more aggressively to find the best treatment and be vigilant in screening, etc. Plus they would not tell us the reality that this particular type of cancer had a 12 month survival rate of 0%.

I think that people like oncologists who deal with terminal patients regularly need to be well-trained in how to talk with their patients in an honest, helpful way. They need to help the patient and the family prepare for what is coming instead of ignoring the facts. I truly don't think that ignoring the elephant it the room is ultimately helpful to anyone.