I haven't posted in a long while, but check in frequently. I carry many of you in my heart and mind, always hoping for the best for everyone. It's been a little over a year since my DH's recurrence. In the last 13 months, he's been taken into the OR twice (a planned liver resection last May, and a planned liver resection and HIPEC in Aug.) only to have the surgeries aborted due to dse. progression. In Nov., he was in ICU with sepsis and renal failure due to a port infection. A subsequent course of xeloda, celebrex and Erb. failed to stop progression, and a CT scan this past Jan. showed cancer in the liver, peri., omentum and multiple chest and abdominal LN's, He is now on Folfiri/Erb. After 3 cycles of this, his CEA increased from 17 to 19. Onc. hasn't changed the course of therapy, but did order a brain scan last week due to intermittent dizziness and unsteady gait. DH and I opted to wait on getting the results until after we attended a NCAA Championship game in Charlotte this past week-end. A CT scan is scheduled for 4/24. We don't look forward to test results like we used to....the days of seeing positive results seem to be a distant memory. DH retired in January, no longer able to work and undergo treatment. We're trying to make the best of every day, and have had many happy moments. But, we are also "taking care of business"....getting our wills in order, etc. Sometimes it's hard to find the balance between living in the present, and also preparing for the future. We do count ourselves blessed....44 years of a strong and loving marriage, a deep abiding Faith that is a source of strength, and the support of an amazing circle of friends.
My deepest thanks to all of you who generously share your stories of courage, hope, strength and insight on this forum. I find strength in your honesty...even in your frustration and anger. This disease is so mean. But love and kindness seems always to have the last word.
Pattie
UPDATE - The MRI did not show any evidence of cancer. CEA dropped from 19 to 17. CT scan is scheduled for 4/24, but onc. believes things are stable for now. He did say that he believed DH will need to go back on Folfox and Erb. at some point, but we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it. Right now we're just going to find rest in the word "stable". Thanks for your kind responses.