How much do you share on Facebook?

[Carolinabluetec]

The only safe thing to do on Facebook is post pictures of your pets and what you eat at every meal.

I don't know, there are Petnappers and Vegans out there.

[BrianMc7]

In terms of FB, I think the only "right answer' is YOU do what YOU are comfortable doing. Of my CRC friends & their significant others on FB, there is a wide spectrum of the choices they make. If any friend is uncomfortable with what you chose to post (cancer or otherwise) they can easily "unfollow you" or unfriend you whenever they want. Problem solved.
-Tom

Amen to that. Do what's comfortable to you and is within the range of your personality.

[ANDRETEXAS]

Nothing..... I don't do FB or Twitter....or any other social media. I enjoy my privacy, and If I want someone to know something, I pick up the phone.

[justin case]

Somehow I think your employers, and bankers, and other people that are influential to your own well being, would not come to COLON TALK, unless you told them where to come. Those same people might peep in on Facebook
Michael

[purplekangaroo]

I personally don't discuss my cancer on Facebook but in my opinion its totally down to an individual what they want to post. If others don't like it all they have to do is scroll on by or delete, certainly don't let others dictate what you should or shouldn't do.

[WifeOfMike]

Some folks are more "social" and sharing of themselves than others.
I am a firm believer that it is the patients journey and everyone should try & follow their lead for just how private to be

With that being said, I was the caregiver of my hubby. His choice was to tell no one but immediate family & a few very close friends
I, being the more "social" one, came aboard CT and other cancer chats on his behalf to find answers in the beginning and help others behind our journey. He loved that & supported my need to do so. It benefited him AND me, in more ways than I can ever express. I did not come out on Facebook, to my friends/ public until after he had passed. I did however support colon cancer and many other types of cancer on the Facebook. If any do not like what I post- un-friend me- before I un-friend you. I applaud your decision to stand up for yourself. It is not always easy.

I ran into MIL issues towards the ending of my loving hubby's life. His mild mannered mom & I had several scream outs about his rights/ wishes vs hers.
I told her simply- this was his journey- not ours- certainly not hers to make the rules about. It lead up to her trying to storm my house & trying to enter uninvited- when he was not up for visitors and not feeling well. He met her at the door in a wheelchair and told them to leave. Several other nasty brawls occurred, leading me to get social workers from home hospice care to intervene. Let me suffice to say I won that battle and stood vigilant to my hubby's feelings & wishes until his last day.

It helped, that I had his wishes spelled out in legal documents, if he had not been able to vocalize his wishes. You may want to consider doing the same now- when you do not need anything. Kind of like insurance- put it away in case of necessity. It may ease a lot of stress and heartache down the road for the two of you. It also helps to verbally stand your ground now, as you have just done. It might give it more emphasis if Chris is the one to vocalize his feelings to her. I was so proud of my mild mannered hubby, when he stood up to his parents- expressed his wishes and confirmed me as his voice & gatekeeper.

I wish you both strength on your journey and best wishes
Vicki

[Voxx66]

Wait...the phone? I have one so I can text and access the net when out. I don't usually use it for calls. I also almost never answer my home phone. I tell people if they want to talk to me - text, message, or email me. But don't call unless I specifically ask you to ha. You can leave a voice mail but we both know I almost certainly won't be calling you back.

[Nik Colon]

I post whatever I feel on fb, if people don't want to see they can unfriend me, that is how I have always been. I like people to know for more knowledge and it keeps people who want to know informed. Jmo.

[canadiandaughter]

Agreed, facebook is whatever you want to post about you! If you are posting someone elses news then we have a problem. You said yours is all close friends and family, so that is a good way for you share how things are going. If the MIL doesnt like it, I would maybe considering blocking her from seeing any future posts you do about it. Some people are very scared of facebook because they don`t understand it. When my dad first got sick, I asked permission and posted on a closed family fb site that we have for reunions. Told them about dads cancer and that he would NOT like it if he knew we were all chatting about him but that mom felt everyone needed to know being he was sick at our last reunion right before diagnosis and we wanted the real story out not the passed down version that changes. We asked that NO one share on facebook, dad wanted it very private. We felt it saved us having to tell everyone individually which at the time we couldn`t mentally handle. If you are concerned about bankers etc finding you, change your name! My daughter has her first and middle name so that prospective employers can`t find her.

[kellywin]

The person with cancer chooses what to say and what not to say about their diagnosis, treatment, feelings, problems, whatever, in whatever medium they want. That's it. The end. No one, not spouses, parents, siblings, friends, etc, get to choose. As long as your husband is ok with your putting things on FB about him, then it's no one else's business. If anyone told me what to say/post/shout from the rooftops about myself or anything else involving me, I'd tell them to **** off.

Somehow I think your employers, and bankers, and other people that are influential to your own well being, would not come to COLON TALK, unless you told them where to come. Those same people might peep in on Facebook .

One banker here

[justin case]

Agreed, facebook is whatever you want to post about you! If you are posting someone elses news then we have a problem. You said yours is all close friends and family, so that is a good way for you share how things are going. If the MIL doesnt like it, I would maybe considering blocking her from seeing any future posts you do about it. Some people are very scared of facebook because they don`t understand it. When my dad first got sick, I asked permission and posted on a closed family fb site that we have for reunions. Told them about dads cancer and that he would NOT like it if he knew we were all chatting about him but that mom felt everyone needed to know being he was sick at our last reunion right before diagnosis and we wanted the real story out not the passed down version that changes. We asked that NO one share on facebook, dad wanted it very private. We felt it saved us having to tell everyone individually which at the time we couldn`t mentally handle. If you are concerned about bankers etc finding you, change your name! My daughter has her first and middle name so that prospective employers can`t find her.

For Me, it's very easy I am not, nor will I ever be on Facebook
Bro Nut

[justin case]

The person with cancer chooses what to say and what not to say about their diagnosis, treatment, feelings, problems, whatever, in whatever medium they want. That's it. The end. No one, not spouses, parents, siblings, friends, etc, get to choose. As long as your husband is ok with your putting things on FB about him, then it's no one else's business. If anyone told me what to say/post/shout from the rooftops about myself or anything else involving me, I'd tell them to **** off.

Somehow I think your employers, and bankers, and other people that are influential to your own well being, would not come to COLON TALK, unless you told them where to come. Those same people might peep in on Facebook .

One banker here

I'm quite sure you do not have any of my relevant financial status, and Kelly, do you work in a bank, or did you bank some eggs
Or both
Bro nut

[bitchslapped]

FB is annoying & causes problems, yet I use it on a very limited basis. I don't think I have run across anyone when discussed that has not been annoyed w/it by people's posts. In fact I have heard far more complaints than good about FB. It is not the venue I would use to relay really personal information. It is difficult enough here on CT, but not much point being here if we can't address the real issues. Even then, we sometimes make light of it just to get through it. Cancer seems so very personal to me. I don't think I would discuss anyone else's cancer any more than I would discuss my own vag on FB. A broken foot seems different to me.

I hope you & your mil can come to some type of understanding.


Best Wishes
bitchslapped

[GreenMonkey]

I post it all.... especially the cancer. I also blog about it. If it's OUT it doesn't weigh me down.

3 cancers, son's suicide, shitty husband, dating with a bag... it's all out there.

It works for me.

[Nik Colon]

Yes, Facebook can be an annoying shithole at times, but it's also for me (as stated previously) a way to get the word out and to update friends and family I don't talk to on a regular basis.