I understand the anxiety.
I don't Exactly Fit in with your group because I became a Stage IVa 3 years after my original dx which makes me Oligo-recurrent and I only had one small liver met at that time, so a quick hepatic resection and NO CHEMO after the resection. NED again since April 11th, 2012.
My anxiety is not as severe as it was after my recovering from the resection (full and open) with NO pain meds but it's taken 3 years to slightly calm down. I take anxiety medication like a vitamin every morning.
I have blood work March 23rd, a CT w/o and MRI in early April and get the results the next week. For the month before the tests and the week awaiting the results, I'm mush. For the first two years, I'd be at the walk in clinic up to 3 times a week with an imaginary illness. That seems to have passed, tho I will worry about little things and wait it out. I'm talking some pretty stupid stuff, too.
Some days I have to repeat 'Cancer may kill me, but not today'. Other days I spend hours listening to praise music or southern gospel on Youtube.
The stats can help me focus. Single small met. Under 3 cm. More than 2 years post dx. No co-morbidity. Low CEA, etc..........
I read a new paper about 3 weeks ago that said at 6 years 48 days post HR, a patient has ZERO % chance higher than the general population of having cancer. My onc told me that at 5 years post HR, he will release me and consider me cured. I can continue with CEA's every 6 months with my primary since my CEA went to 4.4 then 6.4 when I had the met. Very sensitive CEA so anything that popped up after that would be caught, hopefully, very early.
Anxiety is horrible. Anxiety can cripple you and steal ALL your joy. I lost interest in everything. I stopped making nice meals, keeping the house spotless, gardening, crafts, reading. I spent many days Googling and reading. Now I avoid Google except for pretty pictures for my daily blog. NO NEWS. No Dr. Oz. No medical shows at all. Avoid all negativity and realize that I'm 64 and plan on living to be 103 so I need to get on with life.
Stage IIIB cc surgery 1/7/09. 5/17 nodes. 12 tx FOLFOX
Stage IVa 2/15/12. PET = 1.5cm liver met. HR 4/11/12 No chemo
Over 10 years since dx and 7 years post liver resection.
NED since 2012
“O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.” Psalms 30:2