So sorry to hear things are not going well for Frenchie. That is so hard when the medicine that helps with the pain causes other issues. I hope they can get things sorted out for him to give him some relief.
I am not exactly sure where you live, but would he be able to get home care in to help you out? I know that my dad, like Frenchie, wanted to remain at home. They lived in Innisfail, which isn't that big of a town. We were able to get home care for him. We had a RN who was in charge of dads file. We were allowed 4 visits a day from the Health care aids to help with toileting, bathing and dressing. We could call 24/7 and talk to an RN instead of running to emerg. They would advise us. We had RNs come to the house to check on dad. They even talked to his doctor to change any pain meds etc or address any concerns. I know here in Alberta this is free, so that helps. The RN even helped make arrangements when we decided we could not manage dad at home, which was 3 days prior to his passing. It was reassuring to have that person you could get anytime we needed help. I know my moms biggest fear was that my dad would pass away and she would be alone with him, they even gave her their number to call should that have happened. We even had respite care come one day so we could get out. I believe we were allowed to have that 2x a week for 4 hours at time. I know they were SO accommodating and wanted to do anything they could to help us keep dad where he wanted to be. One thing that was nice, was that we did not have to take dad to appointments, the RN came to him and would deal with whatever problem he had. We did not have IV's or anything for dad. He had just started taking a morphine pill a week before he passed. We also had a occupational therapist come to the house and help us get the different bars etc in place that would help dad. We are so blessed here to have so many services free. I believe there was even a dietitian that came to help mom with a food plan for dad.
If it helps ease your mind at all, we felt so bad when we had to take dad to the hospital, but he knew it was best and was not angry at us at all. They know when they need more help then what we can provide at home. It is better for everyone, actually safer for everyone when the time comes. Hugs to you both. I hope Frenchie can enjoy some of these summer days now that is it finally here. Hopefully you are not getting this nasty wind down your way that we have been getting.
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017