The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

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WifeOfMike
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Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby WifeOfMike » Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:21 pm

Diane,

I speak to my hubby every day.... especially when I drive the coast where he is laid to rest. Many occasions I see dolphins dashing out of the waves (which he adored), a seagull flying overhead, I one time saw a swarm of 100+ butterflies on my property dancing in our lantana.

I feel his presence, I know he watches over us. I am not afraid of the signs... it makes me smile. Your Frenchie (Ron) had a wild since of humor. I'm sure you may get a few off the wall visits. Say HI for me

Much love, Vicki WifeOfMike
Bad Ass WIFE
Hubs: CRC IVA,T3, N0, M1A
Resect/LN Mets 10/12
Folfox4/Avastin 11/12-5/13
Folfiri/Erbitux 6/13-10/13
Stivarga 12/13-4/14
Trial 4/14-/14
Trial 8/14-11/14
HOME Hospice 11/17/14
Guardian Angel 1/1/15
Cost of HOPE? PRICELESS

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Frenchie's Wife
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Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:01 pm

I heard on the radio today some famous sports coach (not sure what sport it was), passed away. He had stage 4 colon cancer which was diagnosed in 2014. This makes me so grateful to have had Ron for so long, as I don't know how many times over the years he was told he was a medical miracle for still being here with us.

I believe it was his positive attitude over his cancer, his goal setting (reaching a summer, or a certain date), and I do believe his life long marijuana smoking gave me more time with this wonderful man.

When we got engaged, six months after we met, he promised me 25 years haha. Well 17 years and 3 months is not bad considering what we have gone through together. I cherish each and every day....well may not every day. There were those days when he was on the dex that drove everyone crazy, those I would rather forget. :shock:

Can't believe it has been a month already since I last saw and spoke with him. My weekend off so I have been busy today with housework,BUTT now I am working on stuff on the computer for the celebration next month. The house is so quite and that is when I notice it the most. I got a picture framed and put it on the mantle, and I look at it everyday. I give me comfort most day.

Other than my two boys, I have not family, Ron's family was mine as as long as he was alive. Once the celebration is done, I am not sure how much contact they will have with me. Family is funny like that.
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

muskokamike
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:38 pm

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby muskokamike » Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:11 pm

Bryan Murray was a lifelong hockey guy. Always a class act and since his dx became a real advocate for getting colonoscopies.


http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/bry ... -1.4245187
53M Dx rc10/31/13
and a huge WTF?....then
CT scan, BONE scan
MRI/T3N0M0 1 suspicious node
5 wks chemo/rad
LAR open TME 2/26/14
temp ileo
0/24 nodes pCR - pathological
Mop up Folfox (8) Mar/28-Jul/4
Aug/14 clear CT scan
8/27/14 reversal
Feb/15 clear scope
July/15 clear CT scan
Feb/16 clear CT scan
Feb/17 clear CT scan
CEA levels 1.6 dx
1.6,1.4,1.7,2.4,2.9, 2.7 2.3 2.5 2.2
2.1 Aug 17
0-4 normal

canadiandaughter
Posts: 674
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:19 am

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby canadiandaughter » Sat Aug 12, 2017 6:17 pm

Hugs Diane! I hope the family keeps in touch with you. You were a big part of their dads life, thus their lives! That being said, I know from personal experience that a death can really do a number on a family. You see peoples true colors, or maybe you just take off the blinders you have been wearing for years. I guess maybe the one that held you all together being gone changes things. Enjoy the memories as you put together the celebration to honor an amazing man! He was truly a miracle in the medical world. Sometimes I think that people can somehow get through things when they have a goal. I know one of my dads last appts he told the doctor he wanted to make it to my daughters wedding. He did that, then went down hill fast. Just take things one day at a time! I know we have good and bad days. The weirdest things will set us off. Now that is has been 7 months, the bad days are fewer, but it seems all the firsts are extremly hard.
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017

Lee
Posts: 5293
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Lee » Sat Aug 12, 2017 6:38 pm

Frenchie wrote:Other than my two boys, I have not family, Ron's family was mine as as long as he was alive. Once the celebration is done, I am not sure how much contact they will have with me. Family is funny like that.


Hopefully more than you think, sometimes it's just take being a 2 way street.

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find comfort in the celebration of Ron's life. As canadiandaughter posted, Ron was an amazing man,

(((Diane)))

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

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Sharon Brent
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Location: London England

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Sharon Brent » Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:26 pm

Hi Diane,

It's very true that after death the true colours of their family truly shines through, no more pretending and fake pretentences.

Myself I feel that after my husbands death that my true battle begun, and I'm still having to fight each day, with many things, feelings, memories and some Dumb Arse people, but as they say life goes on.

I hope you continue to get the support you need and want to make it through the coming days, weeks, months and even years.

You continue to be in my Prayers, may Gods Blessings and Strength continue to be with you always

Love Piyagarn
DH, 47yo, Dx Stg IV, mCRC, lvr, lng 1/14, Tx Capeciabine 9 rnds
Children 5 & 1
DH 48th Birthday 6 November in Hospital
Home palliative care on 12 November 2014
Called back to Jesus 4pm 15 November 2014
Life Celebration in Nigeria 8 January 2015

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bitchslapped
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Location: PNW/USA

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby bitchslapped » Wed Aug 16, 2017 6:11 pm

Frenchie wrote:Can't believe it has been a month already since I last saw and spoke with him. My weekend off so I have been busy today with housework,BUTT now I am working on stuff on the computer for the celebration next month. The house is so quite and that is when I notice it the most. I got a picture framed and put it on the mantle, and I look at it everyday. I give me comfort most day.

Other than my two boys, I have not family, Ron's family was mine as as long as he was alive. Once the celebration is done, I am not sure how much contact they will have with me. Family is funny like that.


Family dynamics can be complex. Add in the factor of a blended family = more complexity. I hope they do check in w/you from time to time to see how you're coming along + hoping you check in w/them to see how they & the grandkids are doing.

If you are interested in posting a eulogy from Ron's Celebration Of Life, or a link to it, I'm sure some of us would very much like to be included for reading. I remember Ron mentioning two sons that did not live nearby & grandkids, but do not remember him mentioning a daughter, though he may have. Think I remember him mentioning you had a couple of boys.

Glad the framed picture brings some degree of comfort to you. Do you still have the small dog, Peanut? Funny I should remember that, but in my neighborhood we sometimes know people by their dogs!

Best Wishes to you, Diane, during this sad time & in planning Ron's Memorial.
BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

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Frenchie's Wife
Posts: 948
Joined: Sat May 04, 2013 1:01 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:57 pm

bitchslapped wrote:
Frenchie wrote:
Do you still have the small dog, Peanut? Funny I should remember that, but in my neighborhood we sometimes know people by their dogs!

Best Wishes to you, Diane, during this sad time & in planning Ron's Memorial.
BS


I was never fond of his small dog, Peanut, and told him I would find him a good him after he passed. Well his brother was interested in Peanut and took him a few times out to the campground before Ron passed away when Ron was in the hospital. I have my own dog, Max, and Peanut does no get along well with him for some reason.

Peanut has always slept with me and Max when Ron is not home, which is fine BUTT the day after Ron passed I could not bare to have Peanut sleep with me. It was to hard for me. Ron's brother was going up north for a few days which then turned into going back east for a few months and I told him if he was serious about owning Peanut then he had to take him now.

Yves, my brother in law, also has a pit bull, The pit and Peanut are the best of buddies, go figure.
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

Lee
Posts: 5293
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Lee » Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:38 pm

Hi Diane,

Just to let you know, I am thinking of you. Have you had Ron's memorial yet?

With summer coming to an end, I can't help but think of Frenchie and you.

(((Diane)))

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

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Frenchie's Wife
Posts: 948
Joined: Sat May 04, 2013 1:01 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Sat Sep 16, 2017 10:33 pm

Hello Everyone,

Just me again.
Life is moving along here. September 30th will be my last day of work as my temporary job will be completed. Then I have two weeks to get ready for Ron's Celebration of Life on October 14th. The oldest stepson is putting together a picture video collection to play that day. He will say some words about it father and I hope his brother will as well. I hope others will share some of their memories of Ron.

I think I am doing good and then I got gov't paperwork where it stated I was a widow, well that just knocked the wind right out of me. It is one think to know he is gone and to talk about it BUTT to see it officially on paperwork is another thing. Two months, it's still so fresh and raw. I can be outside throwing the toys for the dog and then my mind wanders to thoughts of Ron and the tears come. I have not done the ugly cry since the day he died, now they are just soft tears that come and go.

I have not manage to find another job - well to tell the truth I have not even looked for another job. I have been feeling a bit lost and unsure of what I want to do. I keep saying I want to run away for a bit (like a vacation), butt I have no where to go and there is no one to go with me. How sad is that :( BUTT I have something in the works that I am hoping I can share because I plan on doing something for myself with or without a partner to share it with.

After the celebration is done I will come back and share how it went with all of you.

Diane
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

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ANDRETEXAS
Posts: 560
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:01 am
Location: Austin, Texas

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby ANDRETEXAS » Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:57 am

Diane:

Thank you so much for the update. Myself and many others think of you and are wishing you the best. I hope all that's coming your way get better and better...Andre
2014
2/10 - Colon resect
2/13 - DX- Stg IIIb
3/7 - Port placed
3/11 - FOLFOX (12 rds w/full oxi)
8/14 - Chemo finish
8/25 - CT- Inc
9/5 - clean PET
12/10- clean CT
2015
3/2 - Colonoscopy & port removed
3/4- clean CT
9/21- clean CT
2016
3/23- clean CT
2017
2/22- clean CT

ONE DAY AT A TIME !

canadiandaughter
Posts: 674
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:19 am

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby canadiandaughter » Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:43 pm

Nice to hear from you! You will have good and bad days. My mom called me the other day crying because she found a tub of popcorn and didn't know what to do with it as dad was the one that would make popcorn, not her. I told her make the fancy stuff for everyone for Christmas like her and dad used to do, which she must be doing as I was told to save her coffee tins. You just never know what will start the tears. She starts seeing a grief counsellor in the next week or so and we also booked into the Medium for January 20th as she will be in Innisfail where mom lives. I will let you know how that goes!!
I think you will find things change again for you after the memorial. That will be another hurdle over. I am glad to hear his son's are taking an active role to help you with it.
I hope all goes well for you all! I will keep you in my thoughts. Looking forward to hearing about your new plans!! Hugs!!!
Carmen
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017

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bitchslapped
Posts: 1358
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby bitchslapped » Fri Sep 22, 2017 4:24 pm

Frenchie's Wife wrote: get ready for Ron's Celebration of Life on October 14th.

I have not manage to find another job - well to tell the truth I have not even looked for another job. I have been feeling a bit lost and unsure of what I want to do. I keep saying I want to run away for a bit (like a vacation), butt I have no where to go and there is no one to go with me. How sad is that :( BUTT I have something in the works that I am hoping I can share because I plan on doing something for myself with or without a partner to share it with.

After the celebration is done I will come back and share how it went with all of you.

Diane



Glad to see you checking in here & there Diane. It's so difficult @ end of life when the choices aren't good, trying to accept that death has finally taken our loved one. And then, now what? Takes awhile to get your footing, getting used to your new status/title...widow or widower. No doubt a change in scenery w/b helpful if you can pull it off.
W/b there in spirit, thinking of you & Ron on 10/14 for his Celebration of Life.

canadiandaughter wrote: My mom called me the other day crying because she found a tub of popcorn and didn't know what to do with it as dad was the one that would make popcorn, not her. I told her make the fancy stuff for everyone for Christmas like her and dad used to do, which she must be doing as I was told to save her coffee tins.


CD, I know you will always be there for your mom cause you're just that kind of a daughter! :) I hope your mom can make the Christmas popcorn, but it may be a little difficult if that is something they used to do together. I needed to change traditions completely upside down to get through the holidays.


BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

Lee
Posts: 5293
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby Lee » Sun Oct 08, 2017 4:02 pm

Frenchie's Wife wrote:Hello Everyone,
. . . Then I have two weeks to get ready for Ron's Celebration of Life on October 14th. The oldest stepson is putting together a picture video collection to play that day. He will say some words about it father and I hope his brother will as well. I hope others will share some of their memories of Ron.

After the celebration is done I will come back and share how it went with all of you.

Diane


Hi Diane,

I know it's coming up. Just to let you know, you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

All the best to you and your family this coming Saturday,

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

User avatar
bitchslapped
Posts: 1358
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: The Grim Reaper took another swipe at me !!

Postby bitchslapped » Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:06 pm

I'm going to join w/Lee. Wishing you continued strength as you share w/others in memory of Ron.

BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia


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