What should I do about a mental friend?

[Nik Colon]

I get that! Trust me! Hurt and angry

Thanx

[JDinNC]

It sounds to me she's someone who's looking for attention. I wouldn't question her anymore about her having Cancer because it obvious she's sides stepping them. Maybe say...I've been doing chemo and really having some serious side effects. What kinda side effects did you have? Or....I'm stage ?, what stage are you? You'll be able to tell by her answers if she has Cancer. Otherwise, I'd avoid her...tell her, once you're done with all your treatments maybe you two can get together for lunch but right now you have to concentrate on getting my health back. I'm sure you understand!

I also have a friend since the age of 11.... We did everything together...but as we reached adult...I can't believe how her moral standards had changed. For my own mental health, I might contact her once a year...you might considering doing the same.

[cathy123]

Honestly, right now you don't need a friend like that. You have enough to deal with so if a friend is adding stress or anger it may be time to set that friendship aside for a bit. Some people can't stand not being the center of attention.

[Ontario Guy]

No I am on a lot of meds for my Liver, Kidneys, and mental diability. They won't give me a hysterectomy because the quack that I saw retired and said oh it's gonna go away....... but it hasn't so I went to another Dr and the tumor is growing and I just got my surgery card for the hospital so I am going in for a hysterectomy.

I think "mental disability" is the key expression here. "They" won't give her a hysterectomy but she is "going in for" one. Inconsistent at best.

For what it's worth, I have cysts in my liver, discovered during a stem-to-stern MRI before radiation. Along with a warning that radiation can induce cancer 15 years or so down the line, my radiation oncologist told me that the cysts, benign as they were/are, might make this more likely. My onc also told me that lots of people have cysts in their livers and live long lives blissfully unaware. The only reason anyone ever finds out is when they are discovered in autopsies. In other words, cysts are not tumours.

Sorry about your friend. She sounds really messed up.

Best,

OG

[Bat-Mom]

Hi. I am sorry about your friend. Cancer is awful. But mental illness is also awful. The medications can do really bad things to memory and personality. The illness itself can do things too. I feel like I have been through a lot the past year but not nearly as much as my daughter who has a severe mental illness. When she is having an episode or if she is in yet another med change she will not remember things the same way. She usually recognizes that her thoughts are wrong when she has them but not everyone is as 'lucky'.

My sister just went thru radiation for cervical precancerous spots. I don't think she has cancer but I still feel bad for what she went through. Heck I feel bad for what everyone goes through.

So please show some patience to your friend. I am sure she doesn't understand what you are going through and you may not understand what she has going on either. We all have our 'stuff'.

Just a somewhat interesting thought (maybe). Part of me resents Breast cancer. I kind of feel badly about admitting that but it seems like they get all the funding and attention and hey we all love our ta-ta's. I feel like colon cancer has some kind of stigma, it is like ass-cancer. Can you imagine the stigma of mental illness? I think the public feels like they aren't sick at all. They just need to shake it off and be normal. Ha. What a horrible thought.

Good luck with the treatments. Hope to hear a lot from you as you win the fight.

[Ontario Guy]

Part of me resents Breast cancer. I kind of feel badly about admitting that but it seems like they get all the funding and attention and hey we all love our ta-ta's. I feel like colon cancer has some kind of stigma, it is like ass-cancer.

Not to hi-jack the thread, but I think what you mean is "s**t cancer".

Best,

OG

[Bat-Mom]

OG,

You are correct of course. That will be the term in my head from now on. Thanks. Haha.

[JanetsSister]

I suggest that you edit out the name of the person you are talking about. If you google her name, this conversation is near the top of the results.

[ccmc]

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[sadysue]

If I knew my friend was mentally ill, as you say, I would stop obsessing about her lie. She is mentally ill, right, so not really accountable for all her actions. Don't waste your energy on her when you need all your energy to take care of yourself and your cancer. I would be hurt that my friend lied but I would let it go - NOTHING you say or do will change what is in the past. That is what I would do. It's your choice to contine to be friends or not.

[Nik Colon]

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Specifically :

▪ Remember this is a public forum. Do not post personal information including phone numbers, email or mailing addresses, or credit card information belonging to you or others.
▪ Do not copy others' material, trademarks, or other intellectual property—it is illegal. This includes cutting and pasting content from other websites (Facebook, Twitter etc.) or Private Messages from this forum. Comments should be your own original thoughts.

Non complying posts are deleted.

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Oops, sorry

[Nik Colon]

I suggest that you edit out the name of the person you are talking about. If you google her name, this conversation is near the top of the results.

I see it's already been done, I wasn't thinking. my bad, sorry

[Nik Colon]

Thanx everyone. Btw her mental issues are because she was a drug addict

[Nik Colon]

Again, sorry, I'm just frustrated and hurt

[Lee]

Many years ago, I had a good friend lie to me. No mental illness issues. But it did hurt and I was angry. Our friendship never recovered. At one point we drifted apart then saw each other a few times several months later. Truth was I knew I could never trust her again. Dealing with cancer at the time made me realize I did not need that type of negative person in my life. Friendship ended and no regrets looking back.

I'm not saying you should follow this road, but please consider the negative feelings she is leaving with you. Do you really need that negative energy in your life now? Maybe put the friendship on hold for awhile.

Good luck with what ever you do.

Lee