My mother raised me not to talk about poop or gas and we were never, ever allowed to use the word fart. Boy oh boy, times have changed.
Yes, the odor of my gas has changed significantly and not for the better. It's not just that it's a worse smell, it's a really odd bad smell. The worst time is when I'm walking and little ones slip out with every step with no warning. That's when I'm glad I have cats and a dog and I blame them immediately. Luckily, my little dog is old and does pass gas and he is always about a foot away from me when I am at home, so he is an easy scapegoat. I don't have them every day, but often enough for it to be an issue.
Even worse, the smell seems to linger and won't dissipate like a normal fart. Seriously. I can pass gas in my home office, leave, and then come back later and still smell it. I noticed that my blankets smelled so I stripped the bed and washed all of them. Two days later and I could smell it again. I don't have nighttime accidents, but I must pass gas a lot in my sleep and it's absorbed into the fabric. I have never even passed gas in front of my husband in 33 years until now. But the Lord, in his infinite wisdom, gave me a husband with a very poor sense of smell so even when one slips out as he is sitting right next to me and it's so bad that my eyes are watering, he is clueless, the lucky soul. I am an unlucky soul who has a very strong sense of smell so sometimes I have to leave the room to get away from my own gas. I bought several of those flameless candle warmers with the timers and I flip them on to the maximum time every chance I get. I'm hoping the vanilla scent will mask any other lingering odors.
It's hard when I'm out in public and even worse when I am shut in a car with people. I'm constantly nervous that I am going to have to fart so I try very hard to hold them in because some are so bad, I'm afraid they might cause the driver to veer into the oncoming traffic, either because his/her vision is compromised from the fumes or intentionally just to find sweet release from the putrid prison of the car. By the time we reach our destination, my stomach is bloated and so full of unpleasant pressure from holding them in. Then I have to find a private place where no one will come in for awhile to let it all out. Preferably a room with sound-proof walls.
I used to have an occasional discreet ladylike passage of air. A couple of months before I was diagnosed, I started having epic farts, really long and loud but not very smelly. They usually happened when I got laughing really hard, which of course just made me laugh harder and pass more gas. That should have been my first clue that something was rotten inside. But those tumor farts are child's play compared to what I'm dealing out now. I thought it was just a temporary thing that would stop as my body adjusted to the reversal. Reading this, I now know that it's not temporary and I have to find a solution. People expect older men to fart and make "pull my finger" jokes, but I don't want to be the older woman who walks around with a cloud of stench surrounding her like the dirt circling Pigpen in the Charlie Brown cartoons!
I never felt that my fart was my "signature" but I do understand what you mean. So many things have changed about me throughout this cancer journey that sometimes I do feel like I'm in a stranger's body. In fact, I wrote this last year in the midst of all my treatments-
Where did the "me" go
The one that we all know
The obvious answer
I got lost in my cancer
And the new "me" I don't even know
It's all a huge adjustment, a new normal in so many ways. I guess farts that smell like they came out of someone else are just another thing we have to adjust to with this disease. My advice--buy yourself a dog and keep him close by at all times so you can blame him.
Seriously, there are supposed to be drops you can take that make your gas smell less offensive. I'll see if i can do some research and find out anything that might help.
Judy