Need cancer counseling online if poss

[Scaredsless]

Does any one have any idea where I could look for some cancer counseling help with personal issues? They're a bit too personal to just bring up on the forum. As if finding out I had cancer wasn't bad enough it's created other issues that are stressing me out even more. I'm fighting right now with some pretty fierce demons that all seem to want me to just say the hell with it. I don't know if my insurance will cover anything online but it's worth a try. I live out in the boonies in the little bitty Mountaintown so adequate therapy is miles away.

[Kekeg]

You may want to ask for case manager with your insurance to see if phone or interactive counseling is available. I first used my employee assistance program to talk with a counselor by phone ( Value Options ) then, I looked for a therapist I could talk with in person. I found the therapist very helpful, for issues not related to my cancer and in coping with cancer. I wish you the best.

[Valorie]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. You may want to go online to Livestrong.org or cancercommunitysupport.org. They may be able to advise you about counseling online or find a counselor near you. I hope you will find the help you need.

Valorie

[cmrl]

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), will connect you to a crises center closest to your location, and help with referrals.
It's great that you have identified your need for support, and the trained counselors can help you evaluate your situation and point you in the right direction.
A diagnosis of cancer is overwhelming and just magnifies the problems we already carry with us. Please take care of yourself.

Please excuse me for using the "S" word, but your post is very concerning. I'm sure that there are many others on this forum who also need more than can be offered here. Carol

[Scaredsless]

Thanks for the helpful info, No issue with the S word for me. I decided the day I had my colonoscopy and was told that I had cancer, to begin a healthier lifestyle. That is, I stopped drinking, I started exercising on a regular basis and I started trying to find alternative ways to deal with stress and depression. So far I've been able to maintain 2 of the three. My biggest issue right now is stress and how I deal with it.

[KWT]

This is a form of online counseling. Unless I could find a counselor with st4 cancer they have nothing for me.

I hope you find what you're needing. you seem to be in a good position to beat this shit. Try to focus on that its a real possibility.

[dianetavegia]

I agree with Kenny. No counselor would understand unless they've walked in our shoes.
We have YOUNG women who have lost their partners due to sexual problems. We actually had one member lose her partner because she lost her pubic hair! We have men with sexual issues, anger issues, can't stop crying, cancer free but pain so bad in the rectal area .........

We've heard it all. Counselors can pat you on the back, say 'there, there'. Psychs can give you enough pills that you can't feel the emotional pain but no one can understand like a fellow patient.

[Ontario Guy]

What Diane said.

I talked to a psychologist while I was on chemo. It was useful as far as it went, but it became obvious after a couple of sessions that he hadn't a clue what I was talking about a lot of the time. To have a meaningful discussion on any subject, a common frame of reference is essential. The stresses and strains of cancer and its treatment are incomprehensible to someone who hasn't been irradiated, anatomically rearranged, and systematically poisoned for several months, even a "trained professional".

The disease is tough enough. Treatment, while life-saving or -prolonging, is a great strain. If your cancer centre can provide a shrink who knows about the disease, go for it. If not, prepare for a bit of a letdown. It can be nice to have someone to talk to, but a good friend can very often provide the same service.

Good luck,

OG

[CM35]

I worked with a counselor at my cancer center when I was first diagnosed. She did not have cancer, but she was specially trained as an oncologic therapist, and worked exclusively with cancer pts. I found it very helpful. It was a safe place where I could say (and work through) the things that my family and loved ones couldn't handle or help me with. We worked on coping mechanisms, and I was repeatedly reassured what I was feeling, what I was experiencing, was "normal," all things considered. Please consider checking into whether there is such a counselor at your cancer center. In my case, it was all covered by insurance.

[GreenMonkey]

Scaredsless,
My life fell apart after I was diagnosed. Two weeks after my surgery I discovered my husband was addicted to fantasy pornography that included texting and chatrooms. He uses it to numb himself along with alcohol. He was texting women during my surgery, during my recovery, even during our "last hooray" prior to my surgery. I went through chemo and recovery without him and I did okay for the most part.

For me, I needed to get everything OUT of me - meaning talk, talk, talk. I also wrote about it on my blog. If I got it out it couldn't crush me (or thats how I see it).

I always thought cancer would be more romantic. Silly, right. You are diagnosed, your husband is your rock, your family rushes to your side. My cancer was nothing like that.

I lost a child to suicide and for many years I wanted to join him. My cancer diagnosis proved to me that I want to live.

I did initially work with a therapist but I hated the way he looked at me - with such sadness and pity. I needed someone to tell me not to feel sorry for myself. but thats just me.

I hope you find what you need. We are all here for you.

Shannon

[sjring]

FWIW, I had been seeing a counselor, prior to the cancer diagnosis for a variety of issues. Not on a regular basis, but it helped a couple of times a year to ground myself. Once I was diagnosed, I leaned he was also a social worker at the cancer center I use. It's nice to have him pop up to chemo every once in a while to check in (and be in-network for that visit).

As others have mentioned, many employers have an Employee Assistance Plan that can also help hook you up with someone qualified. Worth looking into if your employer has one.

[JDinNC]

I had posted a few weeks back regarding counseling. I've been having anxiety attacks because I had questionable bloodwork and a PET scan coming up. I turned to my sister for help and all she told me is I needed counseling..not what I wanted to hear. My problem...I live in a small country town..they don't even have a Cancer support group so counseling was out of the question. This is why I turn to this board....they know and understand all our situations.
I can only suggest you found someone on this board that you can personally and privately vent to. I can assure you whatever your situation might be, someone here has gone through it. My marriage was rocky for years before my Dx, since then we now live a platonic relationship, sleeping in separate rooms...the only thing that holds us together is our children, grandchildren, same interests and possibly the guilt of my cancer. So as you can see we all have personal issues...you are not alone.

[weisssoccermom]

I sent you a PM with some info. You should see it in your inbox.

[Scaredsless]

Wow JD in NC that sounds like pretty tough stuff to deal with and somewhat along the lines of what I'm going through. My wife and I still care deeply for each other even after 20 years but she's venting her stress on me. She blames me for getting cancer. She's gone off on me several times since the diagnosis a month ago, giving ultimatums and threats of dumping me if I don't stop drinking (which I did) or if I choose to take medical marijuana for the chemo. She blew up last week because I accidently took too much Xanax. (1 mg) I'd never taken it before and she thought I was just trying to get high. The threats are made in the heat of anger, under stress and I seriously doubt she'd go through with it but they have planted seeds of doubt that I can't deal with it at this time. If I can make it through the next year and hopefully get a clean scan I can deal with her issues then but right now it's like being kicked while down. One mountain at a time please. Anyway, we talked it out and we're back to getting along. Chemo starts tomorrow, I'm going to do what I need to do to take care of myself. I don't want to lose her and I'll never be the one to leave but I have to take care of myself and if she seriously wants out that's just how it is. I'll get through whatever happens just not both at the same time. Thanks to you and everyone else for your support

[peanut_8]

Scaredsless, it sounds like your wife could benefit from counseling also. Is it possible to get her to talk to someone? I'm sure the stress is difficult for her to deal with as well, but you are the sick one and need support from someone. You immediate family would be the best. Maybe she needs coping stratagies so that she won't place the blame of getting sick on you. IMO that is terribly wrong. Hope you find some support, you always have your CC family.
peanut