Postby Springhaze24 » Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:33 pm
Hi all, second-time poster, longtime lurker. I wrote my first post two years ago, just days after my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cc with mets to his liver and peritoneal carcinomatosis. At the time, it was mostly to vent, to share, to know I wasn't alone. The digital-age version of screaming into a canyon, I suppose. The first year was good. He recovered from surgery (subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy) and responded to chemo. He had a wonderful, long chemo break and that two-year prognosis seemed so totally beatable and then everything just...stopped...being...good. He's done everything right (Good nutrition? Check! Exercise? Check! Positive attitude? You betcha!), but the cancer just keeps pushing back a little harder. It's so heartbreaking to see someone you love in so much pain. He's 35 - too young to die. I'm 33 - too young to be widowed. But I guess there's no "right" time for that, is there? And so here I am, writing my second post while lying on a cot next to his bed in hospital. He was transitioned to palliative care today. The "end stages," we were told. Maybe a few weeks left together. I realize now that I don't even know why I'm writing this post. Just another scream into the canyon. A virtual shaking of my fist at how unfair and cruel life can be sometimes. You should know that this board has been a tremendous resource and support for me over the past two years. So, thank you. Hold onto your loved ones a little tighter tonight.
Springhaze