My Dearest CC Friends,
It is with a heavy heart that I come to tell you all that my Beloved Husband of 19 years, lost his fight with Stage 4 Colon Cancer on Saturday 15 November 2014, 4.30 pm GMT just 9 days after his 48 birthday
He was not doing very well and they discharged him on Wednesday 12 November to come home with Palliative Care, I only had 3 days with him at home before he died, but I am happy he died at home with me and the children, they do not know he is dead and think he’s back in hospital again, I am trying to work out how to tell them and there are so many things going through my mind I just get a head ache
I will be travelling to Nigeria for 2 Months from 7 December to Celebrate Christmas, my daughters 2nd birthday, New year and also my husband Funeral, the my other daughters 6 birthday in February, we fly back to London the second week of February
I think I am still in a bit of Denial as there are so many things to organise before I travel, and lots of friends are coming and going to make sure I am OK, but I feel so alone it hurts.
Although, I have no regrets, he died at home with the children and I and he was not in pain as I was the one giving him all his medicine and oral morphine, everyone says that I looked after him well and he was proud of me and the children, but you always feel as though you could have done better
I trust in God and know my husbands watching over me making sure the children and I are OK, after we return from Nigeria I know things will be hard and we might even need to sell the house, but I can’t think about that now, I just focus on one day at a time.
This poem encapsulates my feelings about my husband and has always been a favorite poem of mine
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Well, I wish all my CC friends who are fighting this awful disease, all the strength they need to defeat this scourge of Cancer.
I thank everyone that responded to my posts, sent me PM and gave me advise, I may be offline for a few months but I will try to check in and read any replies and answer any PM.
Thank You all again
Much Love and Kisses from London
DH, 47yo, Dx Stg IV, mCRC, lvr, lng 1/14, Tx Capeciabine 9 rnds
Children 5 & 1
DH 48th Birthday 6 November in Hospital
Home palliative care on 12 November 2014
Called back to Jesus 4pm 15 November 2014
Life Celebration in Nigeria 8 January 2015