My Dearest Friends,
I wanted to bring you up to date, so none of you are left wondering "What happened" to ME and my dear hubby Mike.
Many of you have cheered us on as we branched from traditional chemo & into the unknown Clinical Trail waters:Tivantinib Clinical Trial- UPDATE- **NOT GOOD** viewtopic.php?f=1&t=47465&hilit=tivantinib
You stood by our side, as I shared the next fork in the road: Another Brick in the Wall.... **UPDATE on Hubby** viewtopic.php?f=1&t=48592&hilit=brick
So with a heavy heart, I will give you a quick update here..........
A handful of months ago- had you asked, I would have made a pretty educated guess we had about 9 months to a year left of precious "TIME" left together
CT Scans between June & August and several oncological teams supported MY gut feelings. November 3rd Ct Scan showed hubby's lungs became blocked by enlarged lymph nodes-it caused partial lung collapse- catching everyone off guard
Phones were rung/ meetings were held, two radiation oncologists opinions were sought & both accepted my hubby for an immediate palliative radiation treatment-Everything was solidified a week ago Friday Nov 14th
WE just had to make it past last weekend and the goal line- this past Tuesday, Nov 18
..... BUTT- our Time clock was shortened to 6 months.
We barely caught our breath, trying to continue somewhat "Normal routines" working in our store on Saturday Nov 15th.....together- setting a game plan for our shortened "Future".
The goal post within sight (via Radiation)-Then in the Blink of an Eye
.... yet another cruel twist of fate- and TIME once more has been yanked from our hands
SLAM.........in the night he felt "funny", Sun morning he could barely breathe, couldn't stand...hubby hung on- with hopes he would "get over it" as usual & rejected going to a DR or ERVOXX saved the day with his oximeter suggestion
- I needed a convincing Proof WE needed help.....It read critically LOW & I called 911, Hubby & I were whisked off in an ambulance....
then 24 hours of HELL & another game changer
...Long story short..... domino effect..... blockage pushed just enough to collapse more lungs- radiation is off table, no trials/ no chemo....NOTHING left to do but run out the clock... NOTHING
I moved Heaven & Earth with a PERFECT team of family & medical team led by our new ONC to no avail. I did everything I could & then some, so feel no regrets, just heartache
Our three sons, Hospice & I Gutted my recreation/ pool table room and miraculously transformed it into a COZY hospital room in less than 5 hours- An AMAZING feat, under normal circumstances
I brought my love home Monday at 5...... Hospice set up completely- Bed, all equipment you can imagine, oxygen/pain mgmt/ in home medical, counseling- anything 24/7
It is unknown the damage the massive air blockage has done to all organs- unknown whether it is hours/ days/ months left-
If I have learned nothing else- none of us has an expiration date stamped on our asses. It is a master plan & we are just along on the journey where ever it leads
My love is stabilized- not bed ridden, but tethered to a 50' length of tubing to an oxygen machine, or portable tank for on the go (which won't be far)Hospice IS all that they crack it up to be..
.. an entire team of whatever we need 24/7 & an "emergency "supply of meds covering WTF situations at my fingertips
Another thing I have mastered, but NEVER wanted to learn. We have a few "T's" to cross.... a few "I's" to dot to tie up the last chapter of Vicki AND Mike
One of The MOST important- he wants to renew our Vows one more time.... and so we shall.......I feel blessed to have had 34 years with my soul mate, best friend & confidant.... he is in my heart for eternity
I will be Spending the loving moments I have left with my man, ensuring he is comfortable, pain free & surrounded by family and spoiled rotten
I have already stepped in overseeing our family business- run by my husband for 34 years- HUGE SHOES to fill by one of the Most dedicated, honest, hard working men in the world
We are watching our sons rally to our side as they blossom into their dads business legacy- bringing both Joy & tear filled moments- our life long dreams being fulfilled before our eyes
and last but not least..........I will be there to comfort him & our sons through the hardest lesson to learn- how to say goodbyeall else will follow the breeze- which ever way the wind blows us
I will be here intermittently, but know YOU are ALL in my heart each & every day..... I will pop in when I CAN...... mostly in the dark of night
A VERY special thanks to many friends who have helped along the way & still are- Voxx... you helped give me what time I have left..... xoxo... and a reminder to us ALL- your input MATTERS & makes a differenceMichael, Bitchslapped, O' Stoma Mia, MAIA, Peanut, Val, CRGuy, KennyT
..... I could type names all night.....FORGIVE ME if I did not list YOU....... YOU KNOW who YOU are
..... XOXOXOXOI wish you ALL well on your journey,Wife Of MIKE............Vicki