Where has my libido gone?

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Cherie
Posts: 590
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2013 11:20 am
Facebook Username: cherie
Location: New Zealand

Where has my libido gone?

Postby Cherie » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:17 am

I went and saw my doctor today and got a slew of blood tests. I haven't felt good this past week mainly fatigue. While there I asked the doctor if my libido would ever return. He said the part of the brain that creates your libido is right next to the area which deals with stress. He said when the stress goes it would return. However, I don't feel stressed? or maybe I am and just don't realise. My poor husband...now there's a stressed man.... :wink:
36Yo F
2000 UC
2013 Stage 4 CC 15/126 LN spread to the omentum
June Collectomy all visible cancer removed
July Folfox + Avastin
2/14 clean scan
8/14 Ileo-anal pouch surgery still NED
1/15 Emergency illeostomy spread to peritoneum and small bowel

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singingholly
Posts: 1133
Joined: Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:37 am
Location: Northern Italy

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby singingholly » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:25 am

You are necessairily stressed! Like I am. Like our husbands are. :-)
Dec2011 sigm IIIst res T3N1(2/18)M0 Xelox
Oct2012 5liv.mets Dec 2012 liv.res
Jan2013 1liv.met Folfiri+avastin
Jul2013 liv.res Folfiri+/av
Feb2014 10+2lu.mets & 1abd node Folfoxiri+SBRT
Sep2014 Res rx l. BUT spot on diaph:SBRT
Dec2014 3+6lu.mets.Immuno

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dianetavegia
Posts: 2731
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:47 pm
Facebook Username: Diane Weldy Tavegia
Location: Villa Rica, Georgia

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby dianetavegia » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:54 am

Since chemo messes up hormones and throws most women into menopause to the max, many or most lose their desire for sex, PLUS, chemo causes horrible changes to all the moist areas of the body. In an older woman, like me, who had already gone thru menopause, chemo caused my female parts to atrophy leaving me with vaginal stenosis and atrophic vaginitis. Think petrified crotch.

I lost all interest in sex after chemo. My husband is on medications that causes him to have major problems and also has to use a catheter so it worked out okay for us.
Stage III cc surgery 1/7/09. 12 tx FOLFOX
Stage IV PET = 1.5cm liver met. HR 4/11/12

14 years since dx and 11 years post liver resection.
Pronounced CURED and discharged by onc

“O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.” Psalms 30:2

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NZJay
Posts: 640
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:00 pm
Location: NZ

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby NZJay » Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:37 pm

Your libido is probably in the same place mine is hiding. Somewhere far, far away.
11-13 Dx CC
SPS T4b(touched stomach organ),N1(3/23),M0(Stage 3B)
11-13: resect + partial gastrect
2-14: 1 Tx Cape + Oxy; renal failure, colitis
4-14: 7 Tx Capecitabine
1-15: clear CT
7-15: clear scope
1-16: clear CT
3-17: clear CT
10-17: clear scope (5 year gap now!)
CEA@dx: 8.4 / 6-15: 4.0 / 10-15: 4.2 / 2-16: 4.9 / 7-16: 4.9 / 11-16: 5.0 / 6-17: 4.5
NED since resection

JDinNC
Posts: 771
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 9:49 pm
Location: Murphy, N.C.

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby JDinNC » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:28 pm

My libido has been gone for years...if what Cherie said about desire being next to stress then I now understand my problem. I think about it...but there no emotional surge, in fact I don't even want to think about it.
My poor husband has even given up asking....this cancer mess has really put a strain on our marriage and relationship. We are like ships passing in the night. He does his thing and I do mine.
61 y/o female @ DX...........
T3N0M1
6/13 DX- stage 4
Sigmoid colon cancer.
One met to lung
7/13 colon resection
8/13 lung resection
7/17 four years....NED
8/18 five years....NED
MELANOMA
63 y/o @ DX
6/15 stage 2a
7/15 surgery on arm
7/15 NED
4/16 recurrance
5/16 remove metastasis from back
5/16. Started immunotherapy
8/16 discontinue treatment
7/18...PET scan...NED

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elise
Posts: 1519
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:09 pm
Location: Ontario (Canada)

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby elise » Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:24 pm

It must be hanging out with mine in a far away land!!

We still have sex, think hot shower, massage to get in the mood, lots of foreplay and lube to combat the dryness, and toys to help if needed. And a sense of humour for the whole thing!
2012
Feb - Stage 2 (T3 N0 M0) CC @ 30
Mar - R hemicolectomy, 18 LN
May-Nov 6 - Chemo (8 Xeloda)
2013
Feb - NED
2014
Feb - NED
May - Stage 4 - 1 liver met @ 32
Jun - Liver resection
Oct - CLEAN SCAN
Aug-Jan - FOLFOX 5 rounds, 5FU X 6
2015
Ap, Oct - NED
2016
Mar - NED

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dianetavegia
Posts: 2731
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:47 pm
Facebook Username: Diane Weldy Tavegia
Location: Villa Rica, Georgia

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby dianetavegia » Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:51 pm

I've gone thru puberty again. Just BACKWARDS this time. Boys have cooties!
.
Stage III cc surgery 1/7/09. 12 tx FOLFOX
Stage IV PET = 1.5cm liver met. HR 4/11/12

14 years since dx and 11 years post liver resection.
Pronounced CURED and discharged by onc

“O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.” Psalms 30:2

teachpdx
Posts: 634
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:29 am
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby teachpdx » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:07 pm

My first thought upon reading the subject was "What Libido?" :shock:
4/24/12 RC T3N1M0 age 53
5/23-7/2 - 26 chemorad - Xeloda
7/16 Lynch- MSH2
8/28 LAR w/ temp ileo, CR, 0/11,M0, hysterectomy
10/13 6 cycles Xeloda - completed only 1 1/2 due to HFS
3/12/13 - reversal
8/13 NED
6/15 - HFS gone!

Kiwi Debz
Posts: 167
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:42 am
Facebook Username: Deb Goldby

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby Kiwi Debz » Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:36 pm

Ha .... Chance would be a fine thing .... Am so reticent about entering a relationship as I see myself as a liability and who would want to take me on with an unknown future ......

Sounds a bit negative but I struggle to get past it .....

Deb
6/14 DX mCrc stage 4
7/14 R. hemicolectomy; 4/17 LN; liver res. peri met; repair to illiac artery
8/14 FOLFOX
10/14 PET recurrence LN; liver ? Peri met Continue FOLFOX
12/14 PET: stable .Liver only! FOLFOX
02/15 Liver resection. NED
03/15 foundation One testing - BRAF mutant
05/15 progression; Hilum node; both lungs?
08/15 NED !!!!
Age 51 Mum to Tom (RIP) and Jose 18
KIA KAHA - Be strong!

Cb75
Posts: 1216
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:52 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby Cb75 » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:10 pm

Just do it! You need to start doing it to get it back, it may take a bit, but it will get there. Also, do it on your own, even when you don't feel like it, it will "wake" things up (it also helps with side effects and discomfort).

cb
39y female Stage IV
diagnosed April 2012
sigmoid resect May 2012
liver resect Aug 2012
Folfox Oct 2012
lungs Sep 2013
R and L laser lung resection Nov 2013/Feb 2014
FOLFIRI and Avastin Apr 2014 ongoing...

KWT
Posts: 3214
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:22 pm

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby KWT » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:16 pm

Cb75 wrote:Just do it! You need to start doing it to get it back, it may take a bit, but it will get there. Also, do it on your own, even when you don't feel like it, it will "wake" things up (it also helps with side effects and discomfort).

cb


I knew there was something special about you Carm. :shock: :shock: :shock:

justin case
Posts: 4269
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby justin case » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:19 pm

I think it went somewhere between the radiation, and watching what actually comes out of ones body, with an illeo, or obstruction .
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

bitchslapped
Posts: 1538
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby bitchslapped » Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:19 pm

Reminds me of an old Rodney Dangerfield joke: "Last time I tried to make love to my wife, nothing happened, so I said to her, "what happened, you can't think of anybody either?"
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp, diverticulitis
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07, lvr, billiary tree fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

KWT
Posts: 3214
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:22 pm

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby KWT » Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:28 pm

I'll probably be chasin the wife her in an hour or so :shock:

These canadian girls here are really something.

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Cherie
Posts: 590
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2013 11:20 am
Facebook Username: cherie
Location: New Zealand

Re: Where has my libido gone?

Postby Cherie » Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:37 pm

So nobody ever gets it back? :(
36Yo F
2000 UC
2013 Stage 4 CC 15/126 LN spread to the omentum
June Collectomy all visible cancer removed
July Folfox + Avastin
2/14 clean scan
8/14 Ileo-anal pouch surgery still NED
1/15 Emergency illeostomy spread to peritoneum and small bowel


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