Sinister Project in mind/Dark Humour wanted

[mrcytech]

Keep the faith frenchie!!! I agree 100% with your plan. the best way to beat death, is to outrun it!!! Keep moving, my friend!

[carrie]

Really, really admire your attitude Frenchie! Good for you!
Take care, big hugs to you. Karen oxoxo

[Sams wife]

Just found this but I'm sure u have seen something like it already


He was surrounded by his loving wife of ______ who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink, his two sons, their wives, and his four grandchildren. Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935, a spinal disc in 1974, a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988, and his prostate on March 27th 2000.

[Scaredsless]

I hope this isn't going to sound too weird butt when they remove my colon and spinxter I'd like to be able to keep itand give my ass the proper burial it deserves. It has served me well. Do you think they'll let me?[*]

[Frenchie's Wife]

Scaredsless,

My original intent when I started this post was to have people come up with humorous or obnoxious responses to the frequent and repetitive questions and silly comments people make when they know we have cancer. Something unexpected that will make them take notice.

This post got derailed at some point and started going in all directions.
You , my friend , have been selected to be the one to get this post back on course.
Give us a smart ass answer to a frequently asked question or a silly comment people have made !!

Now that I have stopped all previous medication except for my blood thinners and medical THC pills, I am back in the saddle. My wacky sense of humour is back and I need more zany stuff than ever so I can shock the world on my way out !!
Most of the stuff I got in PM's would not have offended anyone who had clicked on the title of this post.
Let's post them on here and wait for feedback.

The majority of us cancer patients run into this daily. Now tell us the things you WISH you could have said to them.
I NEED YOUR HELP !! ............ Now is your chance at a good comeback !! Share it with us..
_
Frenchie

[CRguy]

I've kept my "gnarly" side quiet for a few years … BUTT my good buddy Frenchie needs some pique here ……

"You are looking really good !"
……for a cancer patient ? or just generally ????

"How has the chemo affected you ? "
… makes me want to kill all ignorant assholes who ask stupid questions.

"What was the hardest thing you had to deal with ? "
… other than stupid questions from assholes like you…. the colonoscope up my ass !

"OMG you don't look like a Stage 4 cancer patient."
.. and how many do you actually KNOW ????

" I know how you feel man I have )(*^%#@VB "
(( please fill in any generic not life threatening ailment including halitosis and hangnails ))
… feel for you bro' BUTT you are going to LIVE … RIGHT ????

Sorry Frenchie BUTT the rest of my comments would probably get even ME kicked off the forum…

hope you get my drift and the vibe.

Harmony bro'
CR

[mrcytech]

This is the one I heard most..

Sorry that you're going through this..
my answer: Thanks goober, not half as sorry as I am!!!

[Scaredsless]

Scaredsless,

My original intent when I started this post was to have people come up with humorous or obnoxious responses to the frequent and repetitive questions and silly comments people make when they know we have cancer. Something unexpected that will make them take notice.

This post got derailed at some point and started going in all directions.
You , my friend , have been selected to be the one to get this post back on course.
Give us a smart ass answer to a frequently asked question or a silly comment people have made !!

Now that I have stopped all previous medication except for my blood thinners and medical THC pills, I am back in the saddle. My wacky sense of humour is back and I need more zany stuff than ever so I can shock the world on my way out !!
Most of the stuff I got in PM's would not have offended anyone who had clicked on the title of this post.
Let's post them on here and wait for feedback.

The majority of us cancer patients run into this daily. Now tell us the things you WISH you could have said to them.
I NEED YOUR HELP !! ............ Now is your chance at a good comeback !! Share it with us..
_
Frenchie

Challenge accepted.

I'm only half the ass I used to be butt I'll do my best.

[peanut_8]

anticipation is building.....

[exaussie]

Stupid comment?
You're the healthiest looking cancer patient I have ever seen!
To which my son replied--You can look like me too if you want chemo cocktail complete with steroids!

Another one--God only gives you as much as you can handle
My son said Then He must really think I am a badass!

[Scaredsless]

I haven't had anyone say they know how I feel having colon cancer because they have halitosis yet but if I did I'd probably say " you might try pulling your head out of your ass, for starters".

[skypup]

Junior Leaguer: You are so lucky to be able to lose weight without trying!
me: speechless, but really wish I could have chemo-barfed on command

Christian-on-Parade: Isn't God magnificent that he sent you such a good surgeon? He provides for us so well! (said with a huge glowing smile)
me: Yea, except for that bit about giving me stage IV cancer...


CR, love your comeback to the looking-good comment. I'm stealing it. Bet I get to use it within 48 hours. hehehe

[bitchslapped]

Posts get derailed around here all the time. That's part of the fun we have around here, but you've reigned us in, Frenchie. I haven't forgotten you...saved a few, so here's one:

I know I'll have to die someday ; But I'm putting it off 'til the last minute.

Best Wishes
Bitchslapped

[Scaredsless]

So far the comment that annoys me the most is "I'll pray for you".
Although I doubt I could ever respond out loud the things I'd like to say are:

Great! And I'll say a F*** this s*** for you.

Fine as long as you pray for me and not on me

If you don't mind please leave my name out of it, he already seems pretty pissed off as it is.

Save it for the Packers, they're going to need it more than me.

[mrcytech]

When I was going in for my first colonoscopy, my GI said "This won't take very long, and I'll talk to you after you wake up". I responded with "Do what you need to do doc, but just don't poke my eye out while your in there".