Anyone consider counseling going through this?

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canadiandaughter
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby canadiandaughter » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:20 pm

I have a daughter who has been to a few psychologists and tried the anti depressants. We did not like how the pills made her almost what I would call flat. SHe had no feelings at all, didnt care about anything and actually had a lot of problems due to them. She tried to take her life almost a year ago and we feel the anti depressants and her situation both played a part in it. She is off them now and seeing a new counselor who is teaching her coping strategies and things are slowly getting better. I think the key is to find someone you trust and can open up to. Be very careful if you try the drugs. Depression is tough, cancer sucks and it is hard to deal with. I know even being the caregiver this summer with my dad and still dealing with my daughter, I had some bad stress issues. I had chest pains along with it. Actually going for a stress test tomorrow to rule out any heart conditions just to be safe. This damn cancer journey is tough on everyone involved and I think reaching out for a little bit of help is a good thing, much better then trying to keep it all bottled up inside.
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017

Raleigh
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Raleigh » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:32 pm

Wow, not sure if everyone caught my post about half way through this thread... But my Oncologist's nurse, not even my regular Oncologist prescribed me Lexapro instead of counseling. I'm really against taking anti-depressants in the first place, but picked up the meds anyway.

I found this blog on people's experiences while taking Lexapro.
http://www.depressionblog.com/archives/000055.shtml

After reading much of it... I'm seriously debating taking this medication at all. Seems very difficult to get off it once you start using it, plus it completely destroys your libido 100%, and makes you gain weight. Some of the worse possible side effects include vivid nightmares/bad dreams, hallucinations and making some people go nuts basically.

Strangely my insurance covered this medication for free, but not a single other medication I've been prescribed so far was completely free at no cost.... Seems weird to me.

To take this medication or not, that is the question. Ugh!
44 Yrs. Male
8/27/2014 Diagnosed colorectal cancer
Early stage 3
10/17/2014 - 28 rounds Rads/Chemo done
Resection / Illiostomy
Cancer free now since 9/2015

teachpdx
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby teachpdx » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:41 pm

I haven't read all of the comments so far, but I would not have made it through without my therapist. Now mind you I've been going to her for years so seeing a therapist is a no-brainer for me. I DO know her though and don't have to establish a relationship with a new person, that might be hard. I would just for someone you connect with. Without my therapist I probably wouldn't have applied for and gotten SSD. I think it's nice to have someone to talk to who is there for you and whose feelings you don't have to worry about. It can be quite a burden to try and be considerate of someone when you're not feeling very considerate. :shock: Kristi
4/24/12 RC T3N1M0 age 53
5/23-7/2 - 26 chemorad - Xeloda
7/16 Lynch- MSH2
8/28 LAR w/ temp ileo, CR, 0/11,M0, hysterectomy
10/13 6 cycles Xeloda - completed only 1 1/2 due to HFS
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Val*pal
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Val*pal » Wed Oct 22, 2014 8:14 pm

I think that counseling and/or antidepressants are very helpful for anyone, especially someone going through such a life-changing event as dealing with a cancer diagnosis. The truth is, if you are the cancer patient, you put up a positive front for so many around you, and if you are the caregiver, you do the same. But underneath that front are a lot of emotions that don't really have an outlet. A GOOD therapist is that outlet.

I've been lucky in life (knock on wood) in that I'm pretty healthy. It was my dear husband who had colon cancer. But I come from a family with a tendency toward severe depression, and believe me, it is debilitating. My mom suffered horribly from it, but got a great deal of relief her last 25 years through counseling and antidepressant meds. I took after her, though perhaps not as severely. I knew from about the time I was 11 years old that certain things sent me into a sad place, though I didn't have a word for it. Later, in adulthood, I came to recognize my mom's symptoms in me, and I went into therapy for about 2.5 years. It was the BEST investment in my life. I have been on antidepressants ever since, and I know that the quality of my life is much better than it would be without the meds. Serotonin, the brain chemical involved in depression, is the cause and, and just like a diabetic needs insulin, a chronically depressed person needs meds to help the brain. Asking a depressed person to pull out of it, is like asking a cancer patient to stop the cancer cells from multiplying.

So, in my opinion, if anyone is struggling with a cancer diagnosis (and who wouldn't be?), then they need to consider some counseling and possibly meds.

Now, my dear husband was someone who was rarely depressed. He was blessed with family genetics that don't appear to include depression, and he was someone who saw fun in little things and was able to go through most of his life without the feelings that overwhelmed me in the past. I do think he could have used some counseling and possibly some antidepressants in his last year, but it was his choice not to do so. He hated any meds, so to him it wasn't an option.

Like a previous poster mentioned, some therapists are not worth much. It's up to you to find one that works. I was very fortunate that the therapist I saw many years ago was excellent. A good therapist listens, makes observations, but allows you to come to your own conclusions. Mine rarely gave me suggestions. I think the healing is in being able to say things to someone who is not a friend, not a family member, and is someone whose feelings you can't hurt. It's amazing how it helps.

I don't think I'm "crazy". :lol: I think I have genetics that predispose me to depression, and I was lucky enough to realize as a fairly young adult that I didn't want to continue to suffer. What motivated me was the idea that my depression would affect my children, and so I took action. I grew up with a chronically depressed mother, and I know first-hand that a depressed parent has a very negative influence on children.

What's the harm in trying some counseling?
DH dx'ed May '11, age 62
Jul '11: resection Stage IV
10/11: 6 mo Folfox
8/12:thyr canc, surg/tx
2/13: peri mets
2/13: Firi/Avas
6/13: Ok
8/13: break
10/13: Lung, peri, mets
10/13: Firi/Erb
1/14: Erb Fail; spread
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NZJay
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby NZJay » Wed Oct 22, 2014 8:33 pm

Raleigh wrote:Wow, not sure if everyone caught my post about half way through this thread... But my Oncologist's nurse, not even my regular Oncologist prescribed me Lexapro instead of counseling. I'm really against taking anti-depressants in the first place, but picked up the meds anyway.

I found this blog on people's experiences while taking Lexapro.
http://www.depressionblog.com/archives/000055.shtml

After reading much of it... I'm seriously debating taking this medication at all. Seems very difficult to get off it once you start using it, plus it completely destroys your libido 100%, and makes you gain weight. Some of the worse possible side effects include vivid nightmares/bad dreams, hallucinations and making some people go nuts basically.

Strangely my insurance covered this medication for free, but not a single other medication I've been prescribed so far was completely free at no cost.... Seems weird to me.

To take this medication or not, that is the question. Ugh!


I'm not one to meddle with peoples' health decisions but you're wise in researching and debating before taking the plunge with this medicine.

I've been on SSRI medications a couple of times, hence why I am so opposed to them now! My personal side effects were zero libido, cold sweats, loss of appetite, emotional indifference, confusion, dry mouth, disassociation, morbid thoughts and probably some others I've forgotten.

Health professionals imho are Far too quick to prescribe these things. Why? Because if you go complaining of depression and they ignore you, then you go home and take your own life - they don't look too good. They aren't there to help with your emotional problems, so they throw a pill at the receptors in your brain, numbing the thoughts.

It doesn't touch the root of the problem and doesn't help you develop the strength to deal with it. It literally just numbs the symptom and gives you a bunch of new side effects to deal with.

Maybe me being cynical but I think these meds are hideously over-prescribed. They've become such a "normal" thing to take, yet can be so harmful... and in many cases are not required.

Why exactly do you feel you may need these pills? Are you not functioning in your everyday life? Are you a danger to yourself or others? Are you miserable every waking moment?
If not then I would steer clear of them, seek out a good Cognitive behavioural therapist (CBT / psychologist) and get them to help you work through the problems.

I don't know you or your problems, so I may be wide of the mark. But I like to believe in the power of the human mind to overcome adversity, without needing drugs to numb the pain. Pain and sadness are a normal part of our lives and we are equipped to deal with them. It isn't easy and it can take time, but it can be done.

I'm talking chemically normal, healthy people here of course. I'm well aware there are people (such as schizophrenics) who cannot be functional in society without medical intervention.

/end rant - best of luck!!
11-13 Dx CC
SPS T4b(touched stomach organ),N1(3/23),M0(Stage 3B)
11-13: resect + partial gastrect
2-14: 1 Tx Cape + Oxy; renal failure, colitis
4-14: 7 Tx Capecitabine
1-15: clear CT
7-15: clear scope
1-16: clear CT
3-17: clear CT
10-17: clear scope (5 year gap now!)
CEA@dx: 8.4 / 6-15: 4.0 / 10-15: 4.2 / 2-16: 4.9 / 7-16: 4.9 / 11-16: 5.0 / 6-17: 4.5
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Jachut
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Jachut » Wed Oct 22, 2014 8:46 pm

I personally will never take ssri's again either. Destroyed my sex life, not least because I gained 10kg in three months and they made me MORE tired not less. Fat and exhausted with no libido, now there's a recipe for happiness. Not. I quit cold turkey because I would not risk continued weight gain taking months to wean off and it was hell. Took me four months to feel normal.

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chemo sabe
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby chemo sabe » Wed Oct 22, 2014 9:09 pm

Raleigh - you have far to go and you really gotta get a grip. If you have to do follow-up chemo with infusions of Oxaliplatin, you are also going to get a steroid. That stuff will really bring out anger.

We don't know each other and I don't know how old you are either but I am going to give you my opinion anyway. Please do not take offense at anything that I might write because I am not trying to attack you in any way - I am just stating my opinion.

First - you should avoid drugs. You really do not need them - you did not get a terminal diagnosis. I assume your doctors have told you that you are on the curative path. That is the best news a cancer patient can get and very many people would love to swap your diagnosis and prognosis for theirs.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life sometimes deals people a bad hand - you still have to play those cards. Learn to deal with your frustrations and stop taking them out on others.

We are all going to die - you need to understand and accept that. We do not know when we are going to die either. You must learn to accept your mortality. Perhaps you need to talk to someone about that. Life is short and is far too short to waste time being angry about things you cannot control.

You still have a long journey in front of you and it is not going to be fun. The surgery, ileostomy, more chemo, etc. Get the help you need now so you can come to grips with yourself and your situation.
64 year old male
Diagnosed Stage 3 Rectal Cancer - T3N1M0 - Oct 2011
28 radiation treatments with xeloda
Colon resection with ileostomy Feb 2012
8 Rounds of Xelox completed Sept 2012
Ileostomy reversal surgery Oct 2012
Incisional Hernia Repair Nov 2013

Raleigh
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Raleigh » Wed Oct 22, 2014 9:50 pm

No offense whatsoever Chemo Sage! -and thanks for the comments NZJay, and Jachut, and canadiandaughter

After reading up on this Lexapro crap via that link, and the last few comments... I've decided to dump it, I didn't want it to begin with, I asked my Doc for counseling, instead, they gave me SSRI drugs . It's going down the toilet.

No Chemo Sage... Not afraid of death, not at all really, I'm well past that part of what is essentially life... I almost died two other times in my life already, so, I've faced death in the face more than once. You are right, I'm sure there are others who would trade places with me in an instant.

I've just been really angry lately and lashing out at people around me and not just because of my cancer, I've had a pile of bad cards thrown at me just lately. No work = no money, car died so no way to get around for two months now, and then cancer... I've made my own mother cry more than once from lashing out verbally, and that upsets me. Plus my girlfriend who's also my best friend were about a hair away from ending our seven plus year relationship last weekend. I was loosing my mind on Sunday and Monday over everything. I'm not looking for sympathy, and I'm sure those issues would mean nothing to someone with terminal cancer, but it would still be nice to talk through these issues with someone so I can move forward easier without being upset.

Things are a bit better today. I realize I still have a lot ahead of me. I didn't know I'll be possibly on steroids though. Day by day, one day at a time. Wow... I think I've said way too much. Since you were wondering, I'm 43 age wise.
44 Yrs. Male
8/27/2014 Diagnosed colorectal cancer
Early stage 3
10/17/2014 - 28 rounds Rads/Chemo done
Resection / Illiostomy
Cancer free now since 9/2015

canadiandaughter
Posts: 676
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby canadiandaughter » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:05 am

Maybe even just venting here helps,finding out you are not alone with your thoughts and feelings. If you read the side effects on some of the drugs it says if you have suicidal thoughts, may increase them!! Coming off of them is really hard, I remember my daughters withdrawal was awful for her. If you have a good doctor who monitors you properly and has you on the right meds, they can be very helpful, but the key is the doctor!! Some prescribe and send you away.
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017

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Wade0025
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Wade0025 » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:08 am

I think that its great seeing them, I see mine every 2 weeks the day before chemo and I find it get my mind in the right spot and I just let everything out. This is so I don't have to stress my biggest support out, being my lovely wife with everything that is going on.
I can also talk about any issues that I've had through work and my personal life, She also has helped me be more relaxed and even given me way to deal with the hard things that play on my mind.
Aug14 Stage IV CC. | Aug14 RH Hemi | Oct14 2 x FOLFOX + Av | 4 x FOLFIRI +Av | Jan15 RH Liver Resect (No Cancer to be found)| Mar15 6 x 5FU Preventative Chemo|

Ontario Guy
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Re: Anyone consider counseling going through this?

Postby Ontario Guy » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:01 am

I found chemo-radiation, pain management, and major abdominal surgery a bit stressful, to say the least. When chemo threatened to make it worse, my very understanding nurse sent me for a psych evaluation. The shrink listened to me talk for 90 minutes, pronounced me "not psychotic", and reminded me of a saying of Dr. Viktor Frankl: "To behave abnormally under abnormal circumstances is perfectly normal."

I did benefit from a few sessions with a psychologist, but yet more drugs were, in my case, completely out of the question.

Chemo is nasty. It makes you feel bad. Not surprising that it affects your state of mind.

Good luck,

OG


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