We need some laughs here!

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Scaredsless
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Dec 25, 2014 2:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby Scaredsless » Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:03 pm

When I die I want to go like my grandfather did, in my sleep. Not like the other four people on the car, screaming.
Stage 2, T3, CRC, starting chem/rad 01/12/15
Fluorouracil 6 weeks

justin case
Posts: 4269
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby justin case » Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:05 pm

CRguy wrote:
peanut_8 wrote:I'm may be going out on a limb here, BUTT it seems that BODILY FUNCTION HUMOR is always appreciated here on the Colon Club. 8) :mrgreen:
cheers, peanut

No Shit hey !!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Oh, I like that! "No Shit" , is the second most popular statement for those who really know :shock: :shock: :shock:
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

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CRguy
Posts: 10473
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby CRguy » Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:09 pm

WifeOfMike wrote:Q: What do you call "fart" in German? A: Farfrompoopin!
CHEERS, Vicki

Yeah well ????? what's the difference between a Pub and an elephant fart ...????

One is a Bar Room ...
BUTT the OTHER is a ... BARRROOOOOMM !!!!
guess you had to be there .... :twisted: NOT !

Cheers Vicki
CR

BTW ... anybody remember George Carlin's " Cute little farts " inventor of the "one cheek sneak" :shock: ... and
if two people get into the elevator and one of them farts .... EVERYBODY knows who did it !

Just me ???? NO I didn't think so ... you people are perverts !!!
MY kinda pervs ... SO .....
I LOVE you ... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
17 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

WifeOfMike
Posts: 1495
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:53 pm
Facebook Username: https://www.facebook.com/vbass123
Location: San Diego, California

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby WifeOfMike » Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:49 pm

justin case »
Obviously a woman feeding her children the wrong things :roll: Notice also; this woman never blames a fart on herself, as most women. Oh yeah they all hold up their hand, and say "Sorry y'all, that was ME" NOT!


I already answered that one buddy:

Q: Why don't little girls fart?
A: Because they don't have assholes UNTIL they're married.
AND.... even then we DON'T Fart..... we just "GLOW"

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

:mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :roll: :roll: :roll: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol:

CHEERS,
Vicki
Bad Ass WIFE
Hubs: CRC IVA,T3, N0, M1A
Resect/LN Mets 10/12
Folfox4/Avastin 11/12-5/13
Folfiri/Erbitux 6/13-10/13
Stivarga 12/13-4/14
Trial 4/14-/14
Trial 8/14-11/14
HOME Hospice 11/17/14
Guardian Angel 1/1/15
Cost of HOPE? PRICELESS

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Scaredsless
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Dec 25, 2014 2:20 am
Location: Southern Arizona

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby Scaredsless » Fri Jan 23, 2015 9:07 am

The nice thing about being an asshole is you're somebody else's problem.
Stage 2, T3, CRC, starting chem/rad 01/12/15
Fluorouracil 6 weeks

peanut_8
Posts: 2340
Joined: Sun May 25, 2014 1:31 pm

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby peanut_8 » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:51 pm

I got a new stick deodorant today...

The directions said: Remove Cap and Push Up Bottom

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
female, diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
MSS
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

andy21
Posts: 376
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:07 pm
Location: N California

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby andy21 » Fri Jan 23, 2015 7:23 pm

Thank God it's Friday, but I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday!
Caregiver: To 67 Yr father
diag. Stage IV, 5/12, liver mets
6 cycles Xelox/Avastin, Start 06/12
Stage 1 of Two Stage Resection Surgery in Dec, 12. 2nd line fails.
T Cell Trial May-Jul, 2013
Becomes a Heavenly Angel in August, 2013

User avatar
CRguy
Posts: 10473
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby CRguy » Fri Jan 23, 2015 9:27 pm

andy21 wrote:Thank God it's Friday, but I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday!

... over the years I have lost a few :shock: if I reclaim any I'll give you a call !
Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
17 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

justin case
Posts: 4269
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby justin case » Sat Jan 24, 2015 9:17 pm

WifeOfMike wrote:
justin case »
Obviously a woman feeding her children the wrong things :roll: Notice also; this woman never blames a fart on herself, as most women. Oh yeah they all hold up their hand, and say "Sorry y'all, that was ME" NOT!


I already answered that one buddy:

Q: Why don't little girls fart?
A: Because they don't have assholes UNTIL they're married.
AND.... even then we DON'T Fart..... we just "GLOW"

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

:mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :roll: :roll: :roll: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :lol:

CHEERS,
Vicki

I have a woman at my work, that should just fart, smoke, or do whatever she's trying to cover up, and leave her perfume at home. I only see her once a month, and even my wife can smell her when I get home. Hell she even covers up my farts for weeks :roll:
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

peanut_8
Posts: 2340
Joined: Sun May 25, 2014 1:31 pm

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby peanut_8 » Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:44 pm

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
female, diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
MSS
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

justin case
Posts: 4269
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby justin case » Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:00 pm

peanut_8 wrote:Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”


And so it seems, even Watson, was delved with no common sense. Butt Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was into the spiritual world :roll:
Bro Nut
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

andy21
Posts: 376
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:07 pm
Location: N California

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby andy21 » Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:08 pm

An American, a Chinese, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The Russian goes first. He builds a solid shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the Russian is no more.

Next goes the Chinese. He puts himself in some advanced Tai Chi position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once - nothing; twice - the Chinese shivers a bit; thrice - the Chinese grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Chinese asks "May I stay and watch?
I want to see how the American will do it ". The Devil nods and turns to the American: "So, what will you use as a shield?"

The American: "The Chinese, of course".
Caregiver: To 67 Yr father
diag. Stage IV, 5/12, liver mets
6 cycles Xelox/Avastin, Start 06/12
Stage 1 of Two Stage Resection Surgery in Dec, 12. 2nd line fails.
T Cell Trial May-Jul, 2013
Becomes a Heavenly Angel in August, 2013

justin case
Posts: 4269
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:26 am
Location: Katy, Texas

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby justin case » Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:14 pm

andy21 wrote:An American, a Chinese, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The Russian goes first. He builds a solid shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the Russian is no more.

Next goes the Chinese. He puts himself in some advanced Tai Chi position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once - nothing; twice - the Chinese shivers a bit; thrice - the Chinese grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Chinese asks "May I stay and watch?
I want to see how the American will do it ". The Devil nods and turns to the American: "So, what will you use as a shield?"

The American: "The Chinese, of course".

Hmmmm, I'd use the devil, as; it is anything I want :roll: :roll: :roll:
Last edited by justin case on Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
7/11 diagnosed Stage 2 colon and rectal cancer
chemo/rad
lar/temp ilio
Reversal & port removal
21 round of chemo Folfox 9tx, 5fu 12 tx
Last treatment July 2012

andy21
Posts: 376
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:07 pm
Location: N California

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby andy21 » Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:35 pm

An Arab at airport: -

Name? -
Abdul Al Razhib
Sex? -
Three to five times a week. -
No, no, I mean: male or female? -
Yes... male, female, sometimes camel
Holly cow! -
Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
But isn't that hostile?
Horse style, doggy style, any style!
Oh, dear!
No, no, no... deer run too fast!
Caregiver: To 67 Yr father
diag. Stage IV, 5/12, liver mets
6 cycles Xelox/Avastin, Start 06/12
Stage 1 of Two Stage Resection Surgery in Dec, 12. 2nd line fails.
T Cell Trial May-Jul, 2013
Becomes a Heavenly Angel in August, 2013

andy21
Posts: 376
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:07 pm
Location: N California

Re: We need some laughs here!

Postby andy21 » Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:10 pm

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."
Caregiver: To 67 Yr father
diag. Stage IV, 5/12, liver mets
6 cycles Xelox/Avastin, Start 06/12
Stage 1 of Two Stage Resection Surgery in Dec, 12. 2nd line fails.
T Cell Trial May-Jul, 2013
Becomes a Heavenly Angel in August, 2013


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