Seeking Honest Feedback

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pmterra
Posts: 599
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:12 pm

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby pmterra » Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:45 pm

When my husband was diagnosed we were both 50 and everyone wanted me to go get scoped and I played the same scenerios in my head as you. What happens to my sons if we both have cancer? Who will take care of Andy... Me? I didn't go that year - I waited until 2 years out. I was fortunate as I don't have cancer. Looking back I would be the one to tell someone else (which would be you) Don't wait go get it done! We can play the what ifs forever the truth is we don't know what's in our future. If you could prevent something (else) catastrophic from happening, wouldnt you want to - would you want your wife to? Don't wait - I know you're not afraid of the scope. It sounds like God may be sending you messages thru your doc. If there's nothing - it will give you more energy to take care of Katie and perhaps a little less stress. I hate to even say this but what if something happens to Katie and then to you - what happens to your poor wife then. Your family needs you. You will find the strength to deal with whatever happens.
caregiver to survivor husband
Stage 3C - Colon
surgery June, 2008
6 mo. chemo/FOLFOX & Avastin
June 2015 - 7 year survivor :)

jean60
Posts: 427
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2012 3:47 pm

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby jean60 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:26 pm

I don't post here often so I realize I am likely not one of the people you will trust for an answer, but I just have to say this. I have read your posts and you, I believe, are a very good man who already knows the answer to this one, you are just wrestling the d*** 'what-ifs' and they can put up quite a fight. Don't let 'em win. Get the scope.

Jean
Dx Rectal Cncr 5/12
Stage III
5 weeks Chemo (5FU) & Radiation completed
LAR with temporary ileostomy 9/12, complete response
Began FOLFOX 10/12. oxil reduced after tx 1, eliminated after tx 2. Now 5FU.
Finished 1/13
Ileostomy reversal 5/13

midlifemom
Posts: 1358
Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:58 am
Location: NJ

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby midlifemom » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:46 pm

I think you've heard enough of us but I will echo if. Get scoped!!
I am stage 3c and managed to work, part-time, thru chemo. You can too!
Stage 3 cc - dx Jan '14 age 53, cea 2.9
t2n2m0, KRAS mutant, MSS
Folfox Feb - Aug '14
Nov '14 cea 27.7 -2 liver masses
Dec '14 left lobectomy and HAI
Jan '15 FUDR and FOLFIRI
Aug '15 fudr done, liver clear, add avastin for lungs. Cea 4.3
Feb '16 CEA rising
May '16 2 wk break then drop Iri for 6 weeks.
Jul '16 cancer grew, constricted main bile duct. Stent inserted. On break till jaundice clears. CEA climbing. Doing reduced Folfox. Allergic to Oxali.
Sep'16 chemo failed. Trial or hospice?

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ANDRETEXAS
Posts: 654
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:01 am
Location: Austin, Texas (University of Tennessee alumnus)

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby ANDRETEXAS » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:47 pm

I totally agree with Paula and the others. You need to get a colonoscopy. Irrespective of your daughter's prognosis, you would be advised that at your age that you SHOULD have a colonoscopy now, if not before. And secondly, what if they find something, and it's caught in the early stages? You would be thankful you had one. You are one smart man, husband and father. You know what to do.

...Andre
2014
2/10 - Colon resect
2/13 - DX- Stage IIIb
6 of 18 lymph nodes cancerous
3/7 - Port placed
3/11 - FOLFOX (12 rds w/full oxi)
8/14 - Chemo finish
8/25 - CT- Inc
9/5 - clean PET
12/10- clean CT
2015
3/2 - Clean colonoscopy & port removed
3/4- clean CT
9/21- clean CT
2016
3/23- clean CT
2017
2/22- clean CT
2018
3/21 - clean CT
4/11 - clean colonoscopy
2019
3/11 - clean CT
9/23 - Five-year release - Annual visits now !
Next colonoscopy - 2023

ONE DAY AT A TIME !

janklo
Posts: 1567
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:10 pm
Facebook Username: JanetKlostermann

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby janklo » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:48 pm

You never have to worry about honest feedback here, that's ALL we offer! Definitely get it done! After my 25 yer old daughter was diagnosed, my husband (age 51) me (age 48) and our 21 year old daughter all had colonoscopies and repeated them 3 years later. To steal from Nike, JUST DO IT!
Mom to 28 yo daughter
colectomy 2/22/10, stage 3C, signet cell
7/2011 peritoneal mets
HIPEC September 2012, difficult recovery
Hospice 10/31/2012, Died 11/16/2012

Val*pal
Posts: 860
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:24 pm
Facebook Username: Valerie Barkus Kantner
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby Val*pal » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:08 pm

I'll join all the others: get the colonoscopy.
DH dx'ed May '11, age 62
Jul '11: resection Stage IV
10/11: 6 mo Folfox
8/12:thyr canc, surg/tx
2/13: peri mets
2/13: Firi/Avas
6/13: Ok
8/13: break
10/13: Lung, peri, mets
10/13: Firi/Erb
1/14: Erb Fail; spread
5/14: Tx stopped
6/20/14: At rest

bldblu_2
Posts: 113
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:19 pm

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby bldblu_2 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:09 pm

As a caregiver, DO IT !!!!!!!! They need you and don't need you having a problem a year or more from now. Do it and then you can rest easy (when it is clear) and you can better care for her.
My husband dx 12/2/2011 Colon
Folfox 2/2012-8/2012
March 2013 ~~ it's back
Mets to liver & peritoneum
Folfiri & avastin 4/2013
November 2013 stable scan
4/29/14 last Folfiri/Avastin
5/15/14 scan, new liver mets
6/4/14 Vectibix irenotecan

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jgall
Posts: 814
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:44 pm
Location: New York City

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby jgall » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:33 pm

I'll join the bandwagon. Frankly, why spend all this energy on all the mind boggling what-ifs? Just get it done and use your energy to deal with what comes. And speaking as a caregiver, I'd be pretty damned mad at you for risking a possibility of not catching it early. I hope Katie survives all this, but if she doesn't and your procrastination about this issue takes you away, your wife will be left alone. Do it for her, if nothing else.

Julia
DH Chris, 50, Dx Nov '10 Stg 4
cardiac arrest from 5-FU
Iri/Erbi, RFA, liver/colon resection, more Iri/Erbi
Oct14-Feb15 clinical trial
SIRT Apr15-unsuccessful
Stopped treatment May15
Hospice July15
Passed 8/15/15
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/chrisandjulia

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Bev G
Posts: 5856
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:19 pm
Facebook Username: Bev Golde
Location: Quechee, VT

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby Bev G » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:56 pm

Hi Chixter,

I wonder if part of you feels you don't have the time or energy to care for yourself right now. If you don't deserve to spend a tiny bit of energy on yourself when your darling daughter is critically ill? If you even felt like discussing the issue with Katie (and I don't imagine you would) you KNOW what she would tell you to do. Now, go do it, friend. There is NOTHING else that makes any sense. Please just get it done. You know the masses here will be celebrating with you when it comes back fine.

Love,

Bev
58 yo Type1 DM 48 years
12/09 Stage IV 2/22 nodes + liver met, colon resec
3 tx FOLFIRI, liver resec 4/10
9/10 6 mos off chemo, Neg PET&CTC CEA nl
2/11 finished total 10 rounds chemo

9/13 ^17th clean PET/CT NED for now

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ptfly
Posts: 392
Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 4:38 pm
Facebook Username: Paul Turley little rock, ar
Location: Little Rock, AR
Contact:

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby ptfly » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:05 pm

Do as I say not as I do.
Get one.
I admit that I have not. No CRC anywhere in my family and it would be out of pocket for me. I am 51. I just can't afford it right now as a caregiver.
As I said, get one. Peace of mind my friend.
Husband to Tracie with stage 4 CC. Liver Mets
DX 5-10-13. C resection 5-17-13. 5/17 LN
FOLFOX+AVI 6-11 thru 9-19-13
HAI pump on 10/31/2013 :) Stopped 9/14 :(
https://www.facebook.com/paul.turley.92
Passed peacefully in my arms at home on 11/11/14

canadiandaughter
Posts: 676
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:19 am

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby canadiandaughter » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:31 pm

I'm new here so likely speaking out of turn but I say get it done. I had a polyp removed 5 years ago and was told all my family should be checked. My siblings all went but my parents doctor at the time told them they were too old and not to worry. Now 5 years later my day has stage iv colon cance that could have been caught way earlier had we got a second opinion. Thankfully they have switched doctors but I can't help but feel guilty that we didn't push them to get checked checked. My mom has already booked hers. As the daughter I would be very upset with my dad had it been his choice not to check. Best of luck to you and prayers being sent to your daughter
DD to 81 year old father
dx 24/07/14 iv cc mets liver/lung
folifiri started 19/07/14
shrinkage of all mets
growth in the liver,started folfox/avastin 80% 13/01/16
reduced to 70% due to side effects 27/01/16
First scan on folfox shows shrinkage in lungs, but liver just stable
6 rounds of vectibix-fail. 3cm growth and new spots showing Waiting for panel recommendations
At peace January 8, 2017

tnt23
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:02 pm

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby tnt23 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:12 pm

HI Chixter

I'm the mom who's daughter was diagnosed last year at 22 with stage 4 colon cancer. I also had not had a colonoscopy and am.53.. I started experiencing digestive issues. I finally had a colonoscopy on Christmas Eve. I only had it because the genetics department at MD needed to know to develop the best treatment plan for my daughter. I literally told my GI doctor to put me down if they discovered cancer. I was that convinced I had it. For me it was the guilt that if I did have it and procrastinated, maybe my daughter's case would have been caught earlier. In fact that wouldn't have been the case. Standard protocol is they would have only started checking her 10 years before..a.parent.was.diagnosed. My colonoscopy was totally clear and was told to.come.back in 5 years. It was a relief. The digestive issues were stress related. Please get this.done for your families sake.

Your beautiful Katie is in our daily prayers!

Laurettas
Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:49 pm

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby Laurettas » Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:51 pm

Chixter, I totally understand what you are saying--have had similar thoughts myself. The problem is that if you do have something wrong and ignore it, making you terminal, your wife will still have to take care of you. I took care of my husband as he went through treatment and as he was dying. The last months before his death were much more difficult than the care he needed while undergoing treatment. Bottom line, you wouldn't be saving anyone any work by dying--not many people get to die without someone having to care for them in the process.
DH 58 4/11 st 4 SRC CC
Lymph, peri, lung
4/11 colon res
5-10/11 FLFX, Av, FLFRI, Erb
11/11 5FU Erb
1/12 PET 2.4 Max act.
1/12 Erb
5/12 CT ext. new mets
5/12 Xlri
7/12 bad CT
8/12 5FU solo
8/12 brain met
9/12 stop tx
11/4/12 finished race,at peace

smudgesicle
Posts: 125
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:23 am
Facebook Username: prue.robson
Location: Australia

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby smudgesicle » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:10 am

My whole family has delayed getting colonoscopies since I was diagnosed last year, using the same reasons you've made here. It drove me batty. I kept say "you know what would make me feel better? knowing you had a clean colon too". So do it. My sister finally had one (all clear), mum has an appointment with my surgeon this week to schedule one (that I made for her), but my dad flat out refuses and it makes me sad. I bet Katie would want you to have one no matter what.
dx May '13 @ 29
RC T2N1bM0, Stage IIIA
7/13 chemoradiation
9/13 ULAR (pCR) & right hemi due to large "precancerous" appendiceal tumour, temp. ileo
11/13-5/14 5FU, 24 rounds
1/14 SBO & takedown
8/14 NED
9/14 perm. colostomy

big mike
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:43 pm
Facebook Username: Michael.rosenbach
Location: New Milford New Jersey

Re: Seeking Honest Feedback

Postby big mike » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:31 am

Chixter
I had symptoms but I felt great and just blew it off I was 45 so they say get colonoscopy at 50 so I assumed it was ulcer or hemroids and finally a year later still felt fine one day I just had zero energy and when trying to go to bathroom felt like a knife stabbed in my ass . This happened for two days so I dragged my ass to the ER catscan says diverticulitis surgeon said it could be that but won't know until I get scoped . I had to wait 6 weeks until infection was gone after scope DR shut door and said "we gotta talk" I knew it was cancer and I thought that for about a month so I was prepared. Had I gone a year earlier I would not have gone through a year of treatments . I had four different Drs tell me my younger brother needed to get scoped "like yesterday" when I told him he was not interested as he felt fine . He reluctantly got it and had 3 polyps one which was large and if let go for a year it would be cancer . So for you and your family get it done man your wife has enough with your daughter I'm sure if something happened to you it would be devils tatting for her.

Stay strong
Fight the fight
I hope Katie is doing better
I think about you guys and your in my prayers
Mike
DX 10/1/13
Stage 3a
28 days xeloda radiation
4 rounds oxaliplatin
Surgery 2/5/14
0/27 LN
12 rounds 5FU leucovorin
Temporary Ileostomy
Reversal September 2014
Negative for Lynch
YPT3N1C


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