At home with hospice

[Kathleen808]

Dear friends,
We are home. We are here with our two daughters and my mother. Dick's mom and sister are in a house down the street and his best friend is staying at another home. As the day went on yesterday, it became more and more clear that going home was the right thing to do. As confirmation, as we traveled over the mountain in the medical van on the way home there was a spectacular double rainbow. Honestly, it was leading us home. When we got here everything was set. I had contacted one of Dick's friends, who is a contractor, at 7:30 in the morning and told him Dick was coming home on hospice. I asked if he could get an air conditioner installed by the afternoon in our bedroom. Sure enough, we entered a cool, calm room. The hospital bed was there along with O2 and the everything he needs. There was a warm meal on the table provided by neighbors and I even went outside and threw the ball to the dogs for a bit just to clear my head.
I asked his best friend to please stay on the couch as I was a bit scared to do the first night alone (my mom was in with our daughter with special needs, caring for her) and his best friend (from 2nd grade) stayed on the couch. I knew it would be a learning experience. One thing I learned is that I need a cot, not to be on a futon on the floor. I need to be eye level with him. Also, I am going to look into a nurse for night time so I can get some sleep. The thing is I will still stay in the room and I want someone else with eyes on him in case he needs something. When I think about it, it's a bit creepy to have someone staring at us when we sleep but at least I won't have to set me alarm every 30 to 45 minutes to check him.
This morning with everyone around to help, I took the younger (more energetic) dog for a walk as she must get exercise. What I found was the sun was still shining, the ocean was still spectacular and our friends are amazing. It pained me to look at our beautiful ocean and know that Dick will not be back in it again or that we will not take another boat ride together. But, when I got back to the house I know at the bottom of my heart that it is time for him to go to eternal love. I know I have no idea how devastated I will be. I have never experienced the level of grief that awaits me or the weight of my children's grief. But, I also know that we will make it through and there will still be beauty and love. I'm not sure how we will make it, but we will.
Please continue to pray for peace.

Aloha,
Kathleen

[NWgirl]

What a beautiful yet heart wrenching post. You give me strength. Prayers for peace for all of you.

[mom_2_3]

Kathleen,

Your posts through these years have been so full of love and graciousness. I always click on them to read the thoughtful things you write. Your love for and with Dick have been so inspiring to me.

I am so sorry that you are facing this. Your post brought me to tears. I am so saddened for your family but then I am so happy for you as well. I am so happy that you have the love of each other, your girls, your family and friends around you, and that they have all found ways to be comforting to you. I know you believe in the promise of our Heavenly Father. May He continue to surround all of you with love and comfort in the time ahead.

Amy

[Delinda]

Dear Kathleen, Belle is right. Somehow, in the midst of a wrenching journey, you give strength to us. Simply another of many examples of the astonishing wife, mother, friend, etc. that you are. My mentor told me many years ago to choose someone I admire & emulate her. I choose you. We here on the mainland and all over the world send our love & support to you, Dick, and the family/friends gathered near. Dick's readiness and acceptance is an incredible gift to his loved ones. I know you both feel our love. XXOXO, Delinda

[lauragb]

You are a shining example of grace, surrounded by love. Thanks for sharing that here.

Light and love to you.

[mstults]

Continuing to pray the journey is a peaceful one.

[chrissyrice]

Peace and comfort for you and your family. You have done everything a person can do to make Dick's transition a blessing to everyone that loves him. Take care dear Kathleen and we are here for you always.
Chrissyrice

[rosa01]

Kathleen

I hope when Bill gets to this step I will be as strong as you. Dick is in the hands of a very wonderful women.

Sheila

[bldblu_2]

I only hope I can be as graceful and understanding as you when our time comes. You are a wonderful woman and teaching us all a lesson. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Godspeed Aloha from Florida.

[skypup]

Praying for peace for your whole family. Thanking you for continued grace. Love to you!

[mackswife]

Dear Kathleen,

A double rainbow to guide you home...how lovely. I pray these painful days are cushioned by grace, mercy, and PEACE.

Pattie

[pukalania]

Dear Kathleen,
you somehow always find aloha in every situation and make the best of it..you have been a great inspiration and i truly admire you for the gracious, calm and full of love way you deal with in these hard times...i'm so relieved to hear you could all go home and spend time together at home...i hope and pray your days together are full of love and peace..and that you find calm for the grief...it is so very sad...and i can't even imagine the grief you and your family are feeling...sending love and strength your way..and we are here with you...so big hug for Dick, you and da gals..and puppies of course
hugs

[chixter]

So glad to hear you are all home Kathleen. This is where we belong if possible. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May the end of this journey bring you all comfort and peace in spite of the tears. Rest in assurance in your faith you will be together again someday....And I believe you will take that boat ride again on a beautiful sea, unencumbered by illnesses or physical limitations.

Greg

[Cathie]

It is very clear just how much you love him. It very moving for me to read post like this.

God's blessings to you and your family.

Cathie

[midlifemom]

Kathleen,
Praying for peace for you and yours.