My father passed away

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My father passed away

Postby eve » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:09 am

Hi my friends. My father whom I loved dearly passed away after five years of courageously and gracefully fighting colon cancer while living his life to the fullest. It's strange how knowing for some time now this was coming and thinking I was prepared have had almost no impact as the pain and grief are at times breathtaking.

I find my self thinking that while the term "lost his battle" is often used in this context, for me my dad's battle ended in glorious victory. I think of his strength, humility, dignity and humor which remained untouched and feel so empowered and proud.

I'm so relieved to say his passing was pain free and peaceful - he was able to pass as he wished at home, in his bed. I feared this part of his journey tremendously but as his dedicated onc predicted (he died of liver failure) the last week or two he just spent more and more hours a day sleeping, pain controlled by morphine patches, until he very peacefully drifted away. I know this is a true blessing.

I want to thank my friends on this board. This community has been a priceless source of information and support for the past 5 years and a constant reminder of everything in this world that is worth living and fighting for.
Much love to you all, Eve.
Last edited by eve on Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
2009 Dad (age 66) CC stage IV
December 2012 liver resection
March 2013 lung liver mets
Xelox and Avastin
Xeloda and Erbitux
My lovely dad passed July 2014

BTW please forxgive mistakes, my english is far from perfect.

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Location: South Central PA

Re: My father passed away

Postby raym » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:17 am

Very nice tribute to your dad. Wishing you strength and peace (though you seem to have both!)
4/12 HIPEC
6/12 Chmo/Rad
9/12 XELIRI+Avast/Zltra
9/13 Plvic Absc,stpd chemo
11/13 Tumr rmvd frm Lap Port incis
12/13 Xeloda
1/14 Cardiac Issue no Xeloda/5FU
3/14 Irinotecan
6/14 Stopped chemo
8/14 Clin Trial
9/14 Infectn - Stpd Trial

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Re: My father passed away

Postby TheLadySkye » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:41 am

I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. There are never appropriate or helpful words, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your Dad sounds like an amazing and beautiful man.
Stage 2b (T4N0M0) small intestine (jejunum) 8/13
Small bowel resection 9/13
CT 10/13 - NED
FOLFOX chemotherapy 11/13 - 4/14
CT 6/14 - NED and my nemesis (the power port) out!
Clean colonoscopy and endoscopy 9/14
CT 12/14, 6/15 - NED!!!

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Re: My father passed away

Postby singingholly » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:02 am

No words, yours are perfect.
Just a warm and sincere big hug.
Dec2011 sigm IIIst res T3N1(2/18)M0 Xelox
Oct2012 5liv.mets Dec 2012 liv.res
Jan2013 1liv.met Folfiri+avastin
Jul2013 liv.res Folfiri+/av
Feb2014 10+2lu.mets & 1abd node Folfoxiri+SBRT
Sep2014 Res rx l. BUT spot on diaph:SBRT
Dec2014 3+6lu.mets.Immuno

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Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:05 pm
Location: CNY

Re: My father passed away

Postby Nixma » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:11 am

I am so sorry. Hugs.
42 F when diagnosed July 13
July 2013 Large tumor removed vie R hemi colectomy
no chemo
January 14 CEA doubles
Pet Lites up
Now Lymph nodes near pancreas cancerous
Stage 4 mcrc
Folfox 3/18/14
Hysterectomy 7/15/14
Resume Folfox 8/27/14

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Bev G
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Location: Quechee, VT

Re: My father passed away

Postby Bev G » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:13 am

Hello Eve,

I am so sorry for your loss. I too sort of hate the metaphor "lost the battle". Our loved ones, who go through it all trying to survive, surely "won the battle" with exactly the attributes you described in your beloved father; strength, dignity, humility...

Please remember we are always here for you as you walk through this part of the path.


58 yo Type1 DM 48 years
12/09 Stage IV 2/22 nodes + liver met, colon resec
3 tx FOLFIRI, liver resec 4/10
9/10 6 mos off chemo, Neg PET&CTC CEA nl
2/11 finished total 10 rounds chemo

9/13 ^17th clean PET/CT NED for now

michelle c
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Re: My father passed away

Postby michelle c » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:27 am

I am so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt sympathy to you and all his loved ones.

Michelle xx
25 May 09 Dx with CC (sigmoid colon) 2 days after my 44th b'day
CEA prior to surgery 4.7
3 Jun 09 LAR - Stage III 3/10 lymph nodes
6 Jul - 10 Dec 09 12 cycles FOLFIRI
Genetic testing - inconclusive for Lynch
Jul 12 port removed & hernia repair

Posts: 2334
Joined: Sun May 25, 2014 1:31 pm

Re: My father passed away

Postby peanut_8 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:54 am

Very sorry for your loss, Eve.
female, diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

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Location: Washington state

Re: My father passed away

Postby Delinda » Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:00 am

Dear Eve, so sorry for your loss. Dad was blessed to have you at his side, as you were blessed to have him for a father. Your CC family is here for you. Hugs, XXOXO, Delinda. P.S. I wrote an earlier post to you but it hasn't appeared - lost in cyber space? Accidentally posted to wrong thread?
62 yo wife & mom
4/14 dx stage IIIC colon cancer
4.5cm tumor, 9/28 nodes
temp colostomy, take down 6/14
7/14 start FOLFOX, 6 mo

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Re: My father passed away

Postby lohidoc » Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:16 am

I'm very sorry to hear this. I wish you strength.
"Half of what I know is wrong. I don't know which half."

Age 56
Dx 19/7/11
R. hemicolectomy 25/7/11
IIIc, 7 / 23 nodes,
no mets
Folfox 21/8/11
CT Scan 6/3/12 NED
CT Scan 21/6/12 30+ lung mets, 2 retroperitoneal tumours

Posts: 2598
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:12 pm

Re: My father passed away

Postby skypup » Sat Aug 09, 2014 1:02 pm

I'm sorry for your loss, Eve. So glad your dad's passing was peaceful and the way he wanted it to be.

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Facebook Username: Connie Perkins Kreienheder
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Re: My father passed away

Postby ConnieSPK » Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:42 pm

So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.

Connie K.
Dx08@54,StgIV Colon,Liver,Lung, ColonSurg,FOLFOX+Beva
09 LiverSurg
11 FOLFOX+Beva,ox reaction
12 Bi-lat LungVATS
13 New mets L lung FOLFIRI+Zaltrap,5FU reaction
14 Return mets L lung SBRT,successful
15 Lung Spots, Irinotecan

Posts: 836
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:23 pm
Location: Orcas Island, WA

Re: My father passed away

Postby orcasres » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:19 pm

Condolences to you and your family. It sounded like your father spent the last five years living the way he wanted and it sounds like you take comfort from that. Lois
63 yo F
Colon resection Sept. 2010
pT3N0M0 Stage 2A
Medullary Tumor 6.5cm long
Lymphovascular invasion
Lynch negative
12 FOLFOX 11/2010 to 5/2011 8 w/Oxi
NED so far

Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:56 am
Location: USA

Re: My father passed away

Postby vickitwo » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:37 pm

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your father.

DH Dx 1/2012 @ age 52
stage IV CC
transverse colon,omentum, cecum,liver,lungs,L5
9 rounds of Folfox, Avastin,
radiation tx to L5 and hips
12/13/13 Folfox/Avastin
1/4/2014 passed away @ Hospice House- age 54

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Facebook Username: Valerie Barkus Kantner
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

Re: My father passed away

Postby Val*pal » Sat Aug 09, 2014 9:20 pm

My sincerest sympathy on the loss of your father.

Cancer may finally kill those we love, but like you I was so proud and comforted to see that my dear husband remained who he was right until the end. He kept trying to live, but did so with his typical stoicism and kindness.

I'm happy that your father's death was peaceful. I know you will miss him a great deal.
DH dx'ed May '11, age 62
Jul '11: resection Stage IV
10/11: 6 mo Folfox
8/12:thyr canc, surg/tx
2/13: peri mets
2/13: Firi/Avas
6/13: Ok
8/13: break
10/13: Lung, peri, mets
10/13: Firi/Erb
1/14: Erb Fail; spread
5/14: Tx stopped
6/20/14: At rest

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