At that point: clinical trial or hospice

[Kathleen808]

Dear Friends,
I just haven't been able to write this because I guess it means it's really true. Dick is having a very, very difficult time. We are waiting to see if any immune therapy trials come this way in the next few days (honestly not likely) or we will be calling hospice. Dick has been at this fight (and he does consider it a fight) for 5.5 years, over 100 chemo treatments, 5 surgeries, too many to count scans and all that goes with all of that. Despite all of that he has lived so fully up until that last months. He never really recovered from March and has been getting weaker and weaker since then. We have not been on our boat all summer and he has only been down to the beach a handful of times. We are really working on pain control and have it under control most of the time but not all of the time.
In a way, because of all on here who have gone before us, I think I know what is coming but then again I have no idea. Family has been visiting and I think we will bring our daughter home for a bit before she heads back to college. This is a difficult time. Not sure how to navigate it all but I do know that I want Dick to be at peace. He is such an incredibly brave man and I respect him and love him beyond anything. I will be by his side as we go forward.

Aloha,
Kathleen

[so-scared]

Kathleen,

I am so sorry that you and Dick have reached this point. It is so tough, even knowing all these years what may very well be the end result. I have recently been where you are so if you ever want to talk, I am here for you. What a blessing that Dick has been able to live life to the fullest until just recently! I can't speak too much on hospice as Scott only had it for 13 hours but from what I understand, hospice is a huge help. Hang in there and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs to you-

DeAnn

[Rob in PA]

Kathleen,
Prayers and strong thoughts headed your way. That is a long fight (5.5 years), and he is a true warrior.

Best to you and Dick,
Rob

[ziggymonster]

I am sorry to hear this. Prayers coming your way.

[jgall]

I am so sorry. You and I have been here a long time, my friend. I hope an immuno trial is in your future, but whatever comes I know you both will handle it with grace and dignity as you have the last 5.5 years!

Much love and hugs!
Julia

[pfCml73183]

Kathleen, I am saddened by your news. I know how you feel about not wanting to say/write it because it becomes more real. It is good that you did though I believe. You will hopefully function better now by not holding all your thoughts and feelings in.
Best of wishes to you on this journey. It always amazes me how people hold it together with so much grace and dignity at the end of their loved ones journey. They are able to help their loved ones leave this world in peace and comfort.I know you will be one of those people.
In peace and with sincerety, Celeste

[Bev G]

AH, Kathleen. I fear I haven't been paying enough attention, but somehow am so surprised and so deeply, horribly saddened to read this. I knew Dick has been having some ups and downs lately, but hadn't realized how tough things had gotten. I will pray that the best path becomes very clear, that whatever decision is to be made will be as easy as possible and that God will light your path. You know that your friends here are with you, just as you have been with us for so long.

(((Kathleen)))

Love,

Bev

[NWgirl]

It is a fight and he's been at it - both of you have, for a very long time. You're right - you know what's coming, but at the same time you don't. I get it. I guess you just keep taking it one day at a time. Sending strong thoughts your way.

[wifenurse]

I was very sad to see your post. Dick and your family have fought a very difficult battle over the last several years. You and Anji were some of the first wives to welcome me to the colon club so I have always tried to follow your journey. I will pray for you and your family. For peace in the decision making process. This is definitely a difficult fork in the road - not a journey any one of us wants to take. You have been an inspiration to me over the years. God Bless Dick and your family!

[chixter]

Kathleen my heart goes out to you and Dick, along with strong vibrations of peace and tranquility. What a blessing Dick must feel he has been given to have you at his side during this difficult time. We all have found ourselves to be combatants in a fight we didn't want. Cherish the good times you had both during and before this battle. ---- Greg

[BrownBagger]

Sad to read your post, Kathleen. Visions of Dick surfing have helped me through some challenging times. All my best to you both.

Sometimes I tell people--"I know how this ends…I just don't know when." Something we all need to remember, I think.

[skypup]

Kathleen and Dick, I'm so sorry to read where you find yourselves. Like BB said, we (those of us in the inoperable camp) know where we are going, but we sure don't know how to get there for sure. May Dick's path be filled with good people to help you both.

[Val*pal]

I'm so sorry that Dick has gotten to this point, Kathleen. He has certainly fought the good fight - and a five year battle is very impressive. I wish both of you the best in the coming days.

[Helen]

Dear Kathleen

I send you love and peace.I encourage you to bring your daughter home.Not sure if I spoke if it before, when my darling Pam was in hospice we made recordings every day from the very first day of hospice.Sometimes video and more often digital recordings if you have an iPhone it has both features built in( I am not endorsing that phone it is just what I have).Many times we just turned on the recorder and let it go recording what was happening then not so much a specific recording although Pam did those as well.PM me anytime and I will give you my cell number feel free to use it.The road you and your beloved Dick may be walking soon as you know I have recently walked and even though I do not post regularly I come to the board daily.Say anything and everything to your beloved while you are still able to hear his response.

Peace and Light

~Helen

[coloradowalt]

My prayers are with you and yours during this time.