Sorry about your troubles. I wouldn't worry too much about your wife's attitude right now, the oncologist will set it straight for her. It isn't like you are wasting time because usually they do not do anything until the patient heals from surgery, so average 6 weeks before further action is taken. What you could do in the mean time is make sure that you have all her records on hand and make a couple of copies so that they are ready to be mailed out to cancer centers. Once she realizes that her condition is more serious than she thinks, she might agree to seek a second opinion in a major cancer center. Just get everything ready to go. You might also want to make a couple of phone calls to get names of oncologists and find out what is the process for getting all her info to them. Then after your wife sees the oncologist on the 12th, all you'll have to do is set up the appointments and take the paper work/reports/CDs to the post office if your wife agrees. I would not argue with her too much right now, it is obvious that she wants to believe that she is cured. So that things are clear, you could ask the oncologist: Is my wife cured? If s/he says no, you could then ask him/her what would happen if she didn't do anymore treatment, where will she be in 6 months, one year... without chemo. I'd ask those question so that it is crystal clear to your wife even though you might already know the answer.
It would be good if you could have her tumor genetically analyzed, you could have it sent to FoundationOne. Your wife would have to consent and the oncologist has to order the test. Your wife might not want to do that yet either if she thinks it is not necessary so it might have to wait until the 12th also. Taking action, getting ready might make you feel better, less helpless. In the mean time enjoy some good times with your wife.
I hope these suggestions help.
06/2012 DH rare intestinal type Ampullary/duodenal cancer. They extrapolate from colon cancer. FOLFOX 6 been working since Aug 2013. Feb 2014 once a month folfox as maintenance.
May 2014 Folfiri - fail
Starting off-label JAKAFI 08/25/14