LEFT BEHIND

[JLILY]

I LOST MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE ON 9/24/05, CAUSE OF DEATH; STAGE IV COLON CANCER. ON 8/29/05, I TOOK HER TO THE ER AT ST PETERS HOSPITAL, ALBANY N.Y. AFTER MANY TESTS NO DIOGNOSIS. SENT TO SEE OBGYN WHO IN TURN SAID SHE HAD A MASS OF SOME KIND. CANCER TESTS CAME BACK RELATIVELY NORMAL, ACCORDING TO HIM NOTHING TO BE ALLARMED ABOUT. THEY SCHEDULED SURGURY FOR 9/16/05, TO REMOVE THE MASS. AFTER ABOUT 4 HOURS OF SURGERY, THE ONCOLOGIST/SURGEON, DR. PATRICK TIMMONS, PULLED ME INTO A PRIVATE ROOM, HE EXPLAINED TO ME THAT JEANNE HAD COLON CANCER, AND IT HAD SPREAD TO OTHER PARTS OF HER DELICATE LITTLE BODY. HER LIVER DID NOT LOOK GOOD ETC, HE WAS VERY FRANK WHEN HE SAID , HE DID NOT EXPECT HER TO SURVIVE THE RECOVERY ROOM. WELL SHE DID, SHE WAS A VERY STRONG WILLED WOMEN. ON 9/18/05, WE CELEBRATED OUR 24TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IN THE HOSPITAL. I DO NOT THINK THAT SHE REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS THAT SICK. I WOULD NOT TELL HER ABOUT MY CONVERSATION WITH DR. TIMMONS, IN FEAR IT WOULD HINDER HER RECOOPERATION. SHE MADE GOOD PROGRESS, AND ON WED.9/21/05 THEY LET ME TAKE HER HOME, ALL WAS WELL UNTILL SAT. MORNING, SHE WAS NOT HER SELF, SHE WAS TAKEN BY AMBULANCE BACK TO ST. PETERS, WHERE SHE PASSED AT 1:21 PM. MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL WAS 45 YEARS OLD. I MISS HER TERRIBLY AND FEAR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. SHE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!

[Thelma]

I am so sorry about your wife. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.This is another case where a young life was lost to a disease which many times can even be totally prevented if testing is done at an earlier age! Many times even if there are problems the earlier stages of colon cancer are misdiagnosed because the disease is thought to be an old persons disease! What will it take to wake up the medical and insurance communities? My son was treated for acid reflux(probably at least two years)-which worsened even with treatment-and six months before stage iv colon cancer diagnosis he was told he had fatty enlarged liver after having ct scan and seeing gastro specialist.Maybe all the wasted time could have saved his life-yes I am very angry as many more of you have the right to be! The tools and technology are put on this earth to use-why not use it! The screenings have to be done earlier and the public has to be made aware so we can prevent so many losses of life and also the pain and suffering many survivors and families go through with treatment. I still feel as I posted earlier,the media is the way to go! Hugs and prayers to all! Thelma

[christy217]

I don't know what to say that will soothe you. Actually, nothing i can say will soothe your pain. I lost my mother 8 years ago to this disease, she passed at 51. I am 29 now and have been recently diagnosed Stage IIa and I was having regular colonscopies.

I can't imagine what you're going through, I would feel the same way if I lost my partner, Dawn. All I can say is that time does help, in terms of losing my mom it's gotten better, but there is still an un-fillable void that will never be filled.

I have heard from different people losing their partners, and saying that support groups for widows of this particular disease has helped them tremendously, if you would like more info, I have a friend I chat with online that lost her hubby to this disease, and I am sure she would be more than happy to chat, she's a very nice person.

you're in my thoughts and prayers.

[Harleyman]

sorry to hear of your lose. i know no words can help in comforting your pain. just know we are here if you need to talk.

[Dana]

Dear Jlily,

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died 4 months ago and had been diagnosed on oct 2nd 2005 as a stage IV. Her illness was brief and her death came quicker than I had hoped but later than what doctors had said.

It's hard trying to cope and carry on with our lives. She was wonderful and thank heavens we all had time to tell her so.

I have my husband and family but my father has lost more than just a wife. Now he's alone in a big house.
I can't add anything else just say that I'm deeply sorry. 45 is too young and so is 62.

A huge hug

Dana

[mtsko]

jlilli, dana, christy and thelma,
I cry today as I read your posts. I can't imagine what ur going through. This disease is no longer for old men, we have to get the word out.
I was dx in 3/04 w/ Stage IV CC. after surgery, it has spread still more. I'm going thru tx now. I'll be 40 in July. its a horrendous disease.
Please know that this site is so helpful in more ways than you know. Reading people's stories help you feel that you are not alone and truly honest strangers have a lot of love to offer.

[Harleyman]

i was diagnoised stage 4 on sept. 18th 1987. meds and especially the word that younger people are getting it is starting to speed up. i was 16 at the time of my diagnosis. im 34 going to be 35 in sept. keep your spirts high and it can be beaten. keep praying and put it in the Lord's hands. Live life. i belive the reason i beat it is to help show people that it can be beaten. a lot of my healing came from God. Know the He knows what he is doing and that whenever our time comes it was our time. God Bless you all. and i pray for you to have a speedy and healthy recovery.

[becky]

I'm so sorry to read your story about your wife. I can't imagine!!! I am a colon cancer survivor of 30 months. Please take care of yourself. It is people like yourself and your wife that help others that are struggling. Be a voice for your wife!!! You have already started. May God Bless you and give you the strength to cope with your loss. You have no idea what a gift you gave to your wife by focusing on her verses what you were going through. I hope you have support through church, family or friends etc.

Prayers and Thoughts are with you.

[debcanmcg]

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I lost my husband on 4/15/06, He was 51 were married 27 years. He was the Love of my Life and life truely is different. I cry every day, I miss him every day. We worked together and were hardly ever apart. So life now is lonely. I wish you the best . Candice