Cb75 wrote:Since then I have been on a journey of my own to come to terms with my soul and who I am. I've done 20 more rounds of chemo, therapy, past life regression, hypnosis, reiki, meditation, chanting, yelling, singing....trying to seek guidance from my subconscious and to see a sign from God.
I wish I could put into words the feelings I have as I come to terms with my physical mortality. I have bought at least ten journals/note books that are waiting for words to fill them. I'm having a hard to explaining the transition that I am going through. What I can say, is that there are times I feel so wonderful and am filled with so much joy and love that I want to explode (its not the weed for those who know me...lol). This love and energy is God. This is WHY we are here, to feel, to love, to experience as much as possible. I never felt this before now. Yes, I have cancer. Yes, I know the reality of this disease. No, I am not crazy. Sometimes, I even have moments where I forget about the cancer and just LIVE in that moment....
Beliefs about death and life and spirituality are so personal and can be controversial...
Don.in.Dallas wrote:I expect nothing after death.
singingholly wrote:Cb75 wrote:Since then I have been on a journey of my own to come to terms with my soul and who I am. I've done 20 more rounds of chemo, therapy, past life regression, hypnosis, reiki, meditation, chanting, yelling, singing....trying to seek guidance from my subconscious and to see a sign from God.
I wish I could put into words the feelings I have as I come to terms with my physical mortality. I have bought at least ten journals/note books that are waiting for words to fill them. I'm having a hard to explaining the transition that I am going through. What I can say, is that there are times I feel so wonderful and am filled with so much joy and love that I want to explode (its not the weed for those who know me...lol). This love and energy is God. This is WHY we are here, to feel, to love, to experience as much as possible. I never felt this before now. Yes, I have cancer. Yes, I know the reality of this disease. No, I am not crazy. Sometimes, I even have moments where I forget about the cancer and just LIVE in that moment....
Beliefs about death and life and spirituality are so personal and can be controversial...
Carm, I'm really impressed by the similarity of our journey in this sense, I often find myself in your words... So I think I can tell you what happened to me once while I was sort of meditating about death... and it turned out to be a meditaion on identity instead...
I felt secretly guilty because I was alive and my mom has died... then I had a sort of vision: we all are wonderful and powerful and at the same time little lights burnin bright for who knows how much on this earth... My light won't last forever (probably won't last much time at all... ) so to feel guilty for being alive is just silly, if you know what I mean... I'm just the next one on the list! Well: this conclusion of mine is not the only effect of seing myself like a little but beautiful and anyway strong light that lights in this universe: from the moment I think about myself in these terms I have a sort of leading star to follow: where I feel that my light shines the more THERE I am. For example in any little or big choice I have to make everyday, the right one is the one that makes me feel "brighter" (this feeling is a sort of inner joy of living...). This helps me a lot in distinguishing what is me and what is not me... what is "self" and what is "non self"...
Wow, very difficult to dig... Even for the linguistic gap...
All this to say that talking and thinking about death sometimes unlocks doors that open on life. It's worth it!
(What a mess of a post, mine...)
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