Mean Boss

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Coppercent
Posts: 262
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:00 pm

Re: Mean Boss

Postby Coppercent » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:37 am

I had a funny experience with something similar. I had worked in my department for several years and had glowing evaluations. Always above expectations on practically every category. My first review after my cancer was announced had me marked as average on several categories which created a lower evaluation. I was pretty angry since yes, I had missed more days due to surgery but my over all work did not suffer. My first year of diagnosis, I only missed 30 work days which is in the allowable days to miss. While on chemo I was a little slower from not feeling well but I put in extra hours to compensate for feeling ill and the four hours I missed every other week for my infusion, I always made up so that I did not miss any deadlines. When I asked my supervisor (who is an Internal Medicine physician) why the reduction in my evaluation she explained that the years prior I never missed 30 days for being sick and that the other girl in the office who had cancer had her review reduced. I just laughed. There was really no comparison to our situations. She missed half of the first two years after her diagnosis and was still using the cancer card in year three when I was diagnosed. When I was first diagnosed and doing chemo radiation I did not tell anyone about my cancer. So when this other girl, who was in remission, was having difficulty meeting deadlines due to her cancer, they actually assigned a few of her projects to me. They did not realize they were reassigning her work to a cancer patient that was actively in treatment. I still find this funny today. My solution for the issue was to find another job which I did and now have a job that I absolutely love. So things really in the end workout like they are supposed to.
07/15/11 Stage III Rectal, 08/11 - 09/11 Chemo/rad 11/11 LAR - Whole rectum gone, ostomy, hysterectomy
01/12 Port placed, 01/12 thru 06/12 Folfox, Xelox 10/03/12 Reversal, Clear scan
And then the story continues.
Currently, remission round two!

newmexico
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:19 pm
Facebook Username: lis.leonard.murphy

Re: Mean Boss

Postby newmexico » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:16 pm

Thanks again for the encouragement and advice. Without saying too much, I believe I have successfully made the organization aware that they could be facing potential legal exposure in regards to my current situation.

At this point I don't know what the outcome will be, but I couldn't tolerate what was happening. I had to say/do something, the situation was just too toxic.

I have to prioritize my health, getting through chemo and taking steps to prevent a recurrence.

The situation at work takes a toll on my family as well. I certainly don't take it out on them, but I'm pretty distressed after a bad meeting with my boss and I know they worry.

I wasn't seeing the proverbial forest (my health, treating my cancer) for the trees (this specific job and hard-to-please boss).

Thanks for helping me take a step back and realize what is MOST important. I have an eight-year-old child still at home, adult children and a loving family who all want ME more than my fancy job title and the pay that goes along with it.

And if I end up with a recurrence, none of this will matter anyway. I'll be fighting for my LIFE.

And I'll post again once I know the outcome.

Thanks, all.
53 year old female
Mom of three, ages 30, 26 and 10
Tumor in sigmoid colon found 12-2013
LAR 1-14-2014, 1/16 nodes, dx Stage IIIa CC
6 months adjuvant Xeloda, finished 8-28-14
Two years out, so far, so good

Margo
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 3:18 pm
Location: California

Re: Mean Boss

Postby Margo » Wed Jun 11, 2014 3:59 pm

My husband lost his job when was on chemo ( after 14 years of employment and detication to the company) he got no sympathy from the owner. I strongly believe the reason he got layoff was his illness, we could sue her but decided not to, she
was a friend of my mother. You think it's impossible ? .unfortunately it is a true
story.
Margo,
Husband 50 yrs dx 07/16/07 CC stage III B, low grade
right colectomy 07/31/07, 50 lymph nodes/ 3 positive, surgeon Gil Galloway ( La Jolla, CA),
FOLFOX 4 ,
CEA before sur. 1.32,
NED

HardKnox
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 4:04 pm
Location: Crooked Lake, Wisconsin

Re: Mean Boss

Postby HardKnox » Thu Jun 12, 2014 3:22 pm

Hi Newmexico.

I'm not a cancer patient, I'm a caregiver.

That being said, what you posted about your boss just makes my blood boil.

I've got friends in New Mexico. Maybe I should go visit them, drop by your place of employment, and give your boss a nice solid PILEDRIVER and put him in a wheel chair the rest of his life.

No weapons; none needed.

If anyone had said something like that to my wife when she was ill, I'd probably be in prison right now.

OK, calm down HK, don't make the situation worse.

We got your back newmexico.

XXXOOO

HK
Wife DX bowel obstruction
Hemicolectomy 1/17/13
DX Stage IV CC
Recovery Jan - March
Relapse 4/10/13. Surgery 4/12/13
Ileostomy. Gastrostomy. Jejunostomy.
Home 4/22/13
Starting chemo 5/8/13
Round 1 FOLFOX
No more chemo
She died 7/28/13.

newmexico
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:19 pm
Facebook Username: lis.leonard.murphy

Re: Mean Boss

Postby newmexico » Fri Jul 04, 2014 11:00 pm

Update on situation: it just kept getting worse. I was required to draft my own "performance improvement plan", which I did, before the deadline, and I tried to keep working. But, I realized I no longer had any perspective where this situation was concerned. My mind was racing, jumping all over the place, coming up with one "solution" after another, deciding on one course of action, then, 15 minutes later, deciding on another.

Around the same time that the "performance improvement plan" was due, I saw my primary care physician for something unrelated to my cancer and she was HORRIFIED that I was still working, and in a stressful job to boot (tangent: aren't all jobs inherently stressful?) She told me that I needed to prioritize my health and that she would write me a letter, call my employer, whatever I needed in order to reduce my work stress. And I hadn't even told her what was going on at work, just that I was working!

I thought about it for a few days and, on the recommendation of not only my primary care doctor but also my oncologist, decided to go on continuous Family Medical Leave (I had only been taking it intermittently for oncology appointments) to get some rest and get out of the pressure cooker for a while. I've been off work for two weeks and I am looking at my options. My paid leave will run out in three weeks but I believe I still have about 7 weeks of job-protected leave left.

It's difficult. My job was GREAT and I loved it. I made a very good salary. If I manage to keep working there for ten more years, I can get a pension through my state's retirement system. My job provided the health insurance that I (and my family) count on. It has been the focus of my life for 15 years.

I'm a Stage IIIa, about 2/3 of the way through my adjuvant chemotherapy. The work stress had kept me from taking good care of myself recently. Junk food, overeating, bad TV. Not spending time with my youngest child, who is only eight. My post-surgery PET scan showed no evidence of metastasis, so I probably have a pretty good chance.

We don't need as much money as I was making, but we need more money than what my husband makes (he would be fine if I died, with my pension, SSI and life insurance).

I hope I figure it out soon.

Thanks for everyone's support.
53 year old female
Mom of three, ages 30, 26 and 10
Tumor in sigmoid colon found 12-2013
LAR 1-14-2014, 1/16 nodes, dx Stage IIIa CC
6 months adjuvant Xeloda, finished 8-28-14
Two years out, so far, so good

User avatar
kirac
Posts: 258
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 10:34 pm

Re: Mean Boss

Postby kirac » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:58 am

I just wanted to chime in. Do you have disability at all? I would definitely consult a lawyer. Sounds like he may be trying to get you out.
Husband (Age 36) 1/13 Dx Stage 3B rectal cancer
3/13 Chemoradiation
6/13 Tumor removed, Temp ileo, 1/15 nodes
7/13 Chemo = Oxaliplatin, Xeloda
1/14 Reversal
7/14 NED, CEA 1.8
12/14 CLEAR CT scan! NED

http://kickingasscancer.com/

User avatar
Frenchie's Wife
Posts: 959
Joined: Sat May 04, 2013 1:01 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: Mean Boss

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Sat Jul 05, 2014 4:17 am

Not all bosses are mean spirited like yours fortunately. My company went in the other direction. Almost 5 years after I had to resign because of the cancer, my company is still paying for all my health benefits such as dental, eye care, prescription drugs etc. They sent my wife a letter stating that they will continue to pay for her benefits for one year after I pass to help her out, asking if there was anything else they could do at this time. You need to find yourself a position with another company that will appreciate your dedication and hard work.
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

newmexico
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:19 pm
Facebook Username: lis.leonard.murphy

Re: Mean Boss

Postby newmexico » Thu Sep 18, 2014 11:24 am

I would like to update the board on my mean boss situation. I went on medical leave back in June, finished up my Xeloda at the end of August and have been released to return to work, which I will do next week.

I don't believe anything is going to change regarding my boss's treatment of me once I return. However, I have an opportunity to take another position within the same organization. It is a demotion and 25% pay cut but I believe I can make it work financially. The problem is, I will still be in my boss's chain of command. I won't report directly to him, but I will report to someone who does report directly to him.

I consulted an attorney and according to him, my boss hasn't done anything to me yet that rises to the level of taking legal action. Close, but not quite.

If I return to my current position, I will be under considerable stress just from the responsibilities of the job itself, which will be exacerbated by trying to please my mean boss, who mocks me, claims I am using cancer to gain sympathy, and says terrible things to me. His expectations of me are vague and subjective. Having to deal with him during cancer treatment added huge levels of stress and emotional turmoil to an already difficult situation.

If I take the demotion, the stress level will be a little lower (it's still a tough job) but I won't have to deal with the mean boss as much. He will still be a factor, just not a daily one.

I've exhausted all my leave. I've just undergone treatment for Stage IIIa colon cancer. I still have an 8-year-old at home who needs me, not to mention my adult children and husband and other relatives.

It's a hard decision and neither option is very good. My health is precious, my brilliant career trajectory much less so. My husband and I have done the numbers and I have to keep working, alas.

Thoughts?
53 year old female
Mom of three, ages 30, 26 and 10
Tumor in sigmoid colon found 12-2013
LAR 1-14-2014, 1/16 nodes, dx Stage IIIa CC
6 months adjuvant Xeloda, finished 8-28-14
Two years out, so far, so good

Peabody5422
Posts: 334
Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2011 10:21 am
Facebook Username: debbie.whitaker

Re: Mean Boss

Postby Peabody5422 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 11:33 am

Put you phone on record when he opens his mouth!
DX: RC 11/11 T1 N1c MX
Surgery: LAR 12/23/11
Rad & Xeloda: 1/12 - 4/12
Clean CT: 4/12
Reoccur: Lymp 4/14 4 new locations. 2 Aortic, 2 locations Rectum
Chemo to start: 6/14, OXI, Advastin, 5FU
10/14: One tumor left - on Avastin only
Surgeries: 4/15, 7/15 and 8/15 :last tumor w/Illeostomy then Ostomy
NED by 7/15 Surgery

CCM
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 2:20 am

Re: Mean Boss

Postby CCM » Thu Sep 18, 2014 1:30 pm

I feel really bad for you. Your boss is a real a hole. I'm going through the battle rite now, having bad side effects,and I know what you are experiencing, and now you have to deal with this. My boss is differant, he is trying to help me out as much as possible, but treatment and the drugs sometime dose effect my work. Try to keep working and keep fighting the battle. Hopefull karma will come to your boss, I hate this disease and would not wish this on anyone, but your boss seems disearving of this C C, and have a boss like you have.

sjring
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:16 pm
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Re: Mean Boss

Postby sjring » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:06 pm

I'm actually going to disagree with the recommendation that you get HR involved at this point. And my apologies to anyone out there who works in HR, but HR is there to represent the interests of the company and not the employee. If they sense at any point there is the possibility of you taking legal action against the company, they will not be your advocate, they will look to minimize the risk of financial loss to the company.

I would suggest you have a quiet discussion with an attorney before you talk to HR, and map out a strategy and discuss if your boss is creating a hostile working environment. Know your rights before you go to HR.
50 YO Husband & father of 2 teenagers.
DX 9/9/13 Stage 4 cc (at age 48)
16 Rounds FOLFOX + Avastin (Oct-13 to May-14)
Maintenance chemo - Avastin & 5-FU infusions (Jun-14 to Jul-15)
Jul-15: Mets to lymph nodes, resuming FOLFOX
Sep-15: MRI showed stability, back to maintenance chemo.

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mstults
Posts: 1327
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:23 am

Re: Mean Boss

Postby mstults » Thu Sep 18, 2014 8:27 pm

I know you don't want to consider it but social security disability is an option. They have an expedited process for cancer patients. Additionally looking down the road you would need to be on SSDI for 24 months to qualify for Medicare. If you quit working you could spend time with your children and do things you might have put off while working. It doesn't have to be permanent either. You can put it on hold and go back to work to see if you can handle it. My job is seasonal so I went on SSDI and reduced my hours during the work season. I have an understanding employer. It's just a small firm with zero benefits. We do get an annual bonus and he has been generous with that. He tells me to do what I can and not worry about what I can't. I do tend to be a workaholic though. In April I worked one day and 2 days later I was on a respirator near death. Put yourself and family first. Stress is not good for cancer.
Male Age 53. Dx CC with numerous liver mets 6/23/12. Colon res 6/24/12. Started folfox 7/24/12. Added avastin 8/27/12. CT 12/27/12 still showing shrink. Took 17 rounds of FOLFOX. Then 5-FU + Avastin. Switched to Irinotecan for 1 yr. CEA rose to >400. Switched to Vectibix 2/18/15. CEA decreasing. Scans show some growth in liver mets. Lung Mets stable to shrinking.

https://www.facebook.com/michael.stults2/about?ref=home_edit_profile&section=work

weisssoccermom
Posts: 5988
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: Mean Boss

Postby weisssoccermom » Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:35 pm

Not sure but I don't think that the fast track only applies to metastatic cancer....I could be wrong but that was my understanding when I was helping someone. It doesn't necessarily mean that someone with a stage III diagnosis can't get SSDI just that it won't be fast tracked.
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
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