First infusion tomorrow, mom has shut down

[Cherie]

Sometimes people just need some time to process what is happening. I know I needed a few days to get into to fight mode and realise the seriousness of the situation and weigh up my options. The people here really help with knowledge coming from experience. Chemo was hard for me so much so each round had to be reduced. Let your mum know the doctors will not put her body through things it can not handle. I have had pain and fatigue since chemo however each day I get a little stronger. It helped me to know that I could say no and that my doctor was always watching me to decide what I could tolerate.

Good luck.

[Peabody5422]

Just hang in there. I went quiet both times and trust me I am the talker in the family. It took me time to deal with the idea of cancer and it's consequences. It took me finding out as much info as I could get to help with the fear. Once I was on the "path" I began to live again.

Treat her normal. I am your mom here except I am 65. I told my son of my reoccurence last Sunday and he has been treating me like glass. Doesn't want the grandkids around me in fear they will give me something. Asking me how I feel all the time. The rest of the family is the same way. This happened the last time. Please be there for her but let her live a normal life. I am trying. I don't need anyone helping me across the street. I don't need people going to every dr appt and every where I go. Just let me be normal and live life. I don't need to be reminded every minute that I have cancer. Trust me I know I do. Don't make every telephone and every visit with her about cancer. I went thru radiation and chemo (xeloda) for 3/12 every Monday thru Friday and did fine by myself. I know this next round will be more difficult but I am still working because my mind is fine and my arms and legs are not broke. Blessed Be to your MOMMA!

[stars9979]

thank you everyone for your advice. Voxx especially with the grocery store runs lol. I swear she could eat a jar of pickles DAILY. that and V8 juice (yuck)

But things are much better. we go for round 4 thursday! She has low energy, but found if we have to get out to handle things she gets a burst of energy after getting mobile. So thats our current battle is geting her active. the benefits for someone who was not so in shape getting active I have read to be really positive.

She says the illeo bag is worse than the chemo lol which even that we are adjusting too.

We talk a lot more, and we have come to just accept things are this way right now and we are going to do everthing we can to get through it. thank you all for your advice!!! it has really helped out, especially to know we are not alone.

[bellavida]

I am 47 and I think I may know what your mom is feeling. I went through some serious anxiety, depression, feelings of hopelessness and I'm sorry to say, that I just wanted it all to be over a few times. I would cry every time I looked at my babies and nothing my dear husband said made me feel better. I got myself to a therapist and started taking citalopram. It helps me immensely. I don't have those feelings of doom anymore and I am really fighting the good fight. It is not her...it is the situation. It is the medicine (poison) and the bag and everything else. It is having cancer on your mind every minute, every day that is getting to her. She is thinking "will I every be free of this and will I ever feel good and healthy again". That's what is happening to her. All the good people who are telling her "don't worry, you'll be fine" or "you look great, I can't believe you're sick" are not really helping. In her head, those words mean nothing because unless they are in her shoes, they have no idea how it feels to have this dreaded disease.

Encourage her to see a therapist asap. Take care.