My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Charlesmarles » Tue May 27, 2014 9:45 am

What a beautiful story DeAnn. Thank you for sharing your heart. Blessings to you and your family.
Dx 1/16/14 34 y F
2/3/14 sigmoid Colon resection LN 0/15 - stage 1
CEA: 2/3/14 Undetectable; 3/13/14 0.5; 6/26/14 0.9; 9/26/14 0.5; 12/24/14 0.4
Expecting a New baby July 2015

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby peanut_8 » Tue May 27, 2014 10:56 am

DeAnn, I'm new to the forum, having been diagnosed with stage 2 A, RC in January this year. I've been following your story and have been amazed at you love for your husband Scott. Reading of his passing brought a tear to my eye. Sincerest condolences to you and your family.
female, diagnosed Jan 14, RC stage 2a, age 56
April 14, 28 chemo/rad with Xeloda
June 14 adjuvant Xeloda 6 rounds
currently NED

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Rob in PA
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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Rob in PA » Tue May 27, 2014 12:12 pm

Wow. I am simply amazed at the words you shared with us and the love you have for Scott. My deepest, deepest sympathies to you and your boys.

dx 11/07 crc IIIb @ 39
Xelox/Rad/ temp colostomy
LAR/J-pouch/ temp ileo
Failed reversal
2/09 liver mets; liver resect/ileo reversal
Folfiri/Avastin - 12
2/11 5 lung mets
Folfiri/Avastin 2011
SBRT 3/12
Lung met 5/13/ said NO to more chemo
SBRT 8/13
2 lung mets 5/14, VATS 8/14, NED

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Lisahopes » Tue May 27, 2014 1:05 pm

DeAnn, I am so sorry for your loss.

I wish you peace in your grieving.
Daughter to Mom, 65, Stage IV with mets to liver, lungs and peri.
Dx 2006, Stage II.
Regular check October 2011, Stage IV established.
She has had Oxi, Folfox and Xeloda, now Avastin.
Mom died on April 5th 2013.

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Lee » Tue May 27, 2014 2:55 pm


What a beautiful tribute to your husband. As others have said, beautiful words. I am so sorry for your loss, you and your kids will be in my thoughts and prayers for strength, love and guidance.

((((HUGS)))) to you all,

rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 16 years and counting!

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby ranger » Tue May 27, 2014 3:30 pm

love to you and many thanks for writing about it.
colon resection 3/09
liver resection and takedown 8/09
11 rounds of folfax, avastin. plus AM655 or placebo, completed jan 2010
hernia repair 3/11 ... 100303900/
age 68, never thought I'd make it. happy.
NED a long time.
Essential Thrombocytosis, monitoring
still here.

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby pmterra » Tue May 27, 2014 9:09 pm

I too am blown away by your beautiful words and picture. Scott was so fortunate to have your love and you his. May God hold you and give you the grace and strength to get through this very sad time. My prayers will be for you and your boys and for Scott - what a amazing tribute to him to have his boys be his pallbearers. I can imagine that will be both beautiful and excruciatingly sad for you. I will keep all of you in prayer. Love to you DeAnn …
caregiver to survivor husband
Stage 3C - Colon
surgery June, 2008
6 mo. chemo/FOLFOX & Avastin
June 2015 - 7 year survivor :)

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby j'swife » Tue May 27, 2014 9:53 pm

What beautiful touches of grace. Both given and received. I have the impression the great love you and scott generate invited and lit up the loving best in so many that were privileged to be in your orbit.
Thank you for sharing these moments.

All of us who live in fear of the shadow you have entered can imagine how impossible it must be to face the worst possible sadness without the beloved partner who has always shared and understood.

Our sympathy and love stay with you..
DH 63 12/12 unresectable liver mets. 2/13 Ffx-Avstn fail. 4/13 HAI pump@MSK. 8/13 mets 50%;Resectn & LAR 10/13.NED! Folfiri & FUDR. reversal 4/14. 3 lvr spots 10/14. 5FU+FUDR. 5/15 resectn/IRE . 7/15 lung 'thingy' 9/15. FUDR, Xeloda. HFS. 2/16 RFA of lung met. FUDR/IRI. 4/16 2 lung 1pelv spots. XEL, stop FUDR. 6/16 RFA 2of 3 mets. XEL. D.10/3/2016 of infection post surgery to remove aortic clots (rare Budd-Chiari syndrome) in local hospital. HAI success! then blindsided...

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Hapa » Tue May 27, 2014 10:02 pm

I hope you & your sons find peace during this most difficult time. Your picture is beautiful- a testament of love that does not die. My thoughts & prayers are with you- Carrie
DH Stage 3 RC

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Guinevere » Tue May 27, 2014 11:25 pm

My heart aches for you and the kids. How wonderful, though, that God put the right people in your path. He's great like that. :wink: Just know that you and the kids will be in my prayers - prayers for comfort, mercy and grace. Be sure and take care of yourself. It's easy to get lost in all the things that "have" to get done. As others have said here, we're here for you! Try not to worry about the things that didn't get done. It seems to me all the important things were done before he left. <<hugs>> That's the best I can do right now. <3

God bless ~
Hrt atk - Feb 11
CRC4 DX - Apr 11
APR liver rsct, procto - Jul 11
Folfox/Avastin - Sep 11
Xeliri - Nov 11
Iritux - Jun 12
Break - Jan - Mar 13
Iritux - Mar 13
Stivarga - Aug 13
Folfiri - Oct 13
Exhausted treatment options - May 14

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby BrownBagger » Wed May 28, 2014 9:07 am

My sincere condolences.
Eric, 58
Dx: 3/09, Stage 4 RC
Recurrences: (ongoing, lung, bronchial cavity, ribs)
Major Ops: 6/ RFA: 3 /bronchoscopies: 8
Pelvic radiation: 5 wks. Bronchial radiation—brachytheray: 3 treatments
Chemo Rounds (career):136
Current Chemo Cocktail: Xeloda & Erbitux & Irinotecan biweekly
Current Cocktail; On the Wagon (mostly)
Bicycle miles post-dx 10,477
Motto: Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did.

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby pollo65 » Wed May 28, 2014 9:59 am

What a beautiful tribute. You are in my prayers for strength and peace.
pollo 65
CC 1/6/09
r. hemi-colectomy 1/7/09
32Ln biopsied, 28 positive
met to aorta
chemo 12 rounds
done 9/09 3 scans clear
1/11 1 met to aorta
micro cluster to peritoneum
4/11 / 9/11 scan clear
4/12 scan clear
10/12 scan clear
chemo break

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O Stoma Mia
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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby O Stoma Mia » Wed May 28, 2014 7:17 pm

so-scared wrote:...My Scott loved to go to our church on Sundays. I am going to take him to church on Sunday one last time. We are having his service next Sunday with a private burial on Monday for close friends and family. We have decided to Scottify the burial. He was a die hard Wisconsin Badger/Packer fan so we are asking everyone to wear Badger/Packer attire to the burial. Scott would love that! We are also releasing balloons in the team colors. We are serving root beer floats too ... his all time favorite! I think that he would approve...

Dear DeAnn -

Thank you for taking the time to share these tender thoughts and feelings of your last hours with Scott. Your message was a wonderful and powerful tribute to Scott and to your unfailing, eternal love for each other. The words, along with the photo, painted a magnificent picture that will serve as an enduring memory of these precious moments in time.

I pray now that God will give you the strength and peace necessary to press onward through the difficult days that lie ahead.


Scott's Memorial Service Announcement




NOTE: If you would like to listen to the On Wisconsin! theme song, you can double-click on the Wisconsin Badgers logo above (just ignore the pop-up ads). Warning: This is not a memorial-service hymn. Instead, it is a football rally fight song in keeping with Scott's strong interest in Badger/Packer sporting events, and in line with the theme of Monday's up-coming private gathering.


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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby jeanette57 » Wed May 28, 2014 7:39 pm


I thought about this before but figured I had time. I am writing letters and cards to be mailed after my death. One last message around 6 weeks after/ I want my family to know my thoughts. I will try not to put it off - I figured I had at least 4 more months. :)
T3 N0 M0 -1-4-12 to 3-2013- NOW stage 4 terminal
mets Lungs & bone - halo on head (not to many can see unicorn horn)
chemo for life or until I quit

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Re: My Scotty Boy has flown away ....

Postby Mitu » Wed May 28, 2014 8:41 pm

Dear DeAnn,

Your words made me cry with both sadness and frustration at the cruel twists and illnesses life deals some of the nicest people, but also with happiness that you were able to have some wonderful things happen during those last days together, from the successful confirmation party to dear Ajula being in the right place at the right time. When I was hospitalized last year with unexplained, agonizing abdominal pain, the two most empathetic people I met in four long days and nights were a housekeeper who sang quietly as she worked, and sat with me for a few minutes -- twice, and a guy who came in a few times to get the trash, who tried distracting me with his kind words (and gorgeous smile!)

Don't forget to make at least one back-up of the recording Scott made, as well as printing out the photos, and your post here... don't rely on technology for stuff so valuable!

With love, and hope that for both you and your wonderful sons, the good memories will soon overshadow the awfulness of cancer and the pain of losing someone so special far too early. Paula's words a few posts above sum it up well: "beautiful and excruciatingly sad".


p.s. also, in a selfish way, I appreciate your taking the time and overcoming the pain of typing out your story of Scott's passing. As a Stage IV'er it helps greatly to hear of a peaceful passing, with hospice meeting or exceeding expectations. Thank you so much.

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