NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

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Frenchie's Wife
Posts: 947
Joined: Sat May 04, 2013 1:01 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby Frenchie's Wife » Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:36 pm

Hello Everyone,

I am new to this thread and thought I would check it out.
It has been a little over two weeks since Ron (Frenchie) has passed away. I have had many good days but they out of the blue I am crying, that was yesterday. It was a normal day butt I would cry at the drop of a hat.
The night before as I went to bed I was really missing Ron, I took a shirt of his and wrapped it around me as if he was giving me a hug.
My journey is just beginning without my soulmate, my family still needs me to be present, I need to move forward and to remember the good times I had with my Frenchie.

I talk to him all the time as I know he is my angel and is watching over me everyday. :D

Diane
Caregiver to DH 59 yr, male, Stage IV at Dx
Dx Sept 2009
Liver,bladder mets, 5 surgeries
Lots of chemo
Inoperable lung mets nov 2013
Stopped all treatments in February 2014 due to QOL issues
I am in God's hands now !!
Feb 2015 - too many new mets to count !
At peace July 9, 2017

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HopeForJesse
Posts: 219
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Philadelphia

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby HopeForJesse » Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:10 am

dear Diane,
Just wanted to send virtual hugs to you. Frenchie was a legend here so I can barely imagine the void created by his physical absence to you. Prayers that you will continue to feel the presence of your new guardian angel and get the strength and peace you need for each day, hour and moment going forward.
Mary
DH DX 01/16 49 YO inoperable RC stage IV liver mets
MSS, mod dif adenocarcinoma, high grade dysplasia, TP53 APC,BRCA2
12/15 CEA 241, 4/16 CEA 22.3 >6 FOLFOX (2/16-4/16) 7/16 CEA 4.3 :D 8/10 5.3 11/17 1.8
LAR/ileo 5/17/16 Clear margins 1/29 nodes
HAI, reversal, liver (some wedge) resections (7) & ablations (3) 7/12/16
FUDR 8/10/16 FOLFOX resume 8/24 reaction to oxy -just 5FU 12/28/16 No more chemo :D
Ephesians 3:20 Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

ronswife
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:25 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby ronswife » Wed Jul 26, 2017 2:04 pm

Frenchie wrote:Hello Everyone,

I am new to this thread and thought I would check it out.
It has been a little over two weeks since Ron (Frenchie) has passed away. I have had many good days but they out of the blue I am crying, that was yesterday. It was a normal day butt I would cry at the drop of a hat.
The night before as I went to bed I was really missing Ron, I took a shirt of his and wrapped it around me as if he was giving me a hug.
My journey is just beginning without my soulmate, my family still needs me to be present, I need to move forward and to remember the good times I had with my Frenchie.

I talk to him all the time as I know he is my angel and is watching over me everyday. :D

Diane


Hi Diane,

I share your thoughts and feelings completely! I also talk to Ron a lot in the house. I went to his grave yesterday and told him I got 2 offers on our house! Trying hard to move forward, like all of us. Thanks for sharing!

:)
Husband Ron diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on 3/15/16, right after first colonoscopy at age 68. Had surgery to remove tumor on 3/31/16. Many mets on top and bottom of liver that are not resectable. Started chemo 4/28/16 using Fluorouracil (5-FU) and Irinotecan. Started Erbitux 5/26 on third chemo. Had very good results on 7/14 CT scan!! Treated with Avastin and Capecitabine 8/4/16. CT on 10/18 showed cancer growth. Now on FOLFOX. Placed in Hospice in early December and passed away 12/29/16.

Nick
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:52 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby Nick » Wed Jul 26, 2017 2:50 pm

I think 'moving forward' is great, but don't rush it. Whatever pace you go is fine. I still cry over my Angie for any or no reason and it's been over four years.
Didn't know Frenchie, but I'd bet he'd have liked you wrapping that shirt around you.

You're going to be ok. It may not feel like it all the time, but you're going to be ok.

May the peace of my Lord Christ Jesus be with you,
Nick
Caregiver to Angie, 47, mother of 3
DX Feb 3, 2011, mets liver & lungs
resection, colon twist, TACE
FOLFOX/avastin - 12 sessions
Maintenance 5FU + avastin
Progression 7/12
starting FOLFIRIOX
Hospice 1/9/13
Angie passed January 26, 2013 at 3:13 am.

ronswife
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:25 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby ronswife » Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:38 pm

Nick wrote:I think 'moving forward' is great, but don't rush it. Whatever pace you go is fine. I still cry over my Angie for any or no reason and it's been over four years.
Didn't know Frenchie, but I'd bet he'd have liked you wrapping that shirt around you.

You're going to be ok. It may not feel like it all the time, but you're going to be ok.

May the peace of my Lord Christ Jesus be with you,
Nick


Thanks!

:)
Husband Ron diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on 3/15/16, right after first colonoscopy at age 68. Had surgery to remove tumor on 3/31/16. Many mets on top and bottom of liver that are not resectable. Started chemo 4/28/16 using Fluorouracil (5-FU) and Irinotecan. Started Erbitux 5/26 on third chemo. Had very good results on 7/14 CT scan!! Treated with Avastin and Capecitabine 8/4/16. CT on 10/18 showed cancer growth. Now on FOLFOX. Placed in Hospice in early December and passed away 12/29/16.

bitchslapped
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Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby bitchslapped » Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:09 pm

Hi All,

There is no really preparing for what we sometimes know is coming, & in some cases a long time coming. You kind of grieve along the way from watching the decline, a witness to what they have to endure knowing you can't make it go away. A very helpless feeling that one lives with. Then POOF, it's over. All of THAT which absorbed both of your lives for so long is now gone & took your loved one. But the memories of your time together are yours to keep.


Brikee wrote:The Lord gave me 7 wonderful years with my husband. I feel really blessed to have that time with him.


I had to look @ things as Brikee to make sense of it all. Rather than what was taken away, look @ what you were given & what you gave them. That you were put in their path to care for their needs when they would need you the most.

Frenchie wrote:The night before as I went to bed I was really missing Ron, I took a shirt of his and wrapped it around me as if he was giving me a hug.


I like that Diane. You know we all have a scent & I remember missing my DH's.

It's been a long time for me, but some things you never forget. I just know that cancer patients never lose the battle. They are winners, over & over & over again, the most worthy of opponents.

Best Wishes in healing.

BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia

ronswife
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:25 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby ronswife » Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:28 pm

FANTASTIC post, BS, thanks!

:D
Husband Ron diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on 3/15/16, right after first colonoscopy at age 68. Had surgery to remove tumor on 3/31/16. Many mets on top and bottom of liver that are not resectable. Started chemo 4/28/16 using Fluorouracil (5-FU) and Irinotecan. Started Erbitux 5/26 on third chemo. Had very good results on 7/14 CT scan!! Treated with Avastin and Capecitabine 8/4/16. CT on 10/18 showed cancer growth. Now on FOLFOX. Placed in Hospice in early December and passed away 12/29/16.

WifeOfMike
Posts: 1495
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Facebook Username: https://www.facebook.com/vbass123
Location: San Diego, California

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby WifeOfMike » Fri Jul 28, 2017 6:19 pm

For all of you that have just lost someone dear,

My heart is with you. I have friends that I have met within the walls of CT, that will be my true friends FOREVER. This place was my only hold onto sanity once upon a time. I will always be beholden.

I cannot come here much any more after the loss of my husband Mike January 1st, 2015. I still drive the coast by the ocean every night & every evening where he rests, between our family jewelry store (37 of 41 yrs) and home (32 yrs). I still feel his presence & he will forever remain the love of my life. The sharp memories of the challenges we had softens with time & the sharp edges of a memory that still hits out of the blue gets further between. The LOVE never goes away-.

May God ease your hearts, may the love remain as strong as mine, & may they all rest in eternal Peace with the Angels. (((BIG HUGS)))
Vicki, WifeOfMike
Bad Ass WIFE
Hubs: CRC IVA,T3, N0, M1A
Resect/LN Mets 10/12
Folfox4/Avastin 11/12-5/13
Folfiri/Erbitux 6/13-10/13
Stivarga 12/13-4/14
Trial 4/14-/14
Trial 8/14-11/14
HOME Hospice 11/17/14
Guardian Angel 1/1/15
Cost of HOPE? PRICELESS

JJH
Posts: 142
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:26 am
Location: Europe

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby JJH » Mon Jul 31, 2017 2:22 am

WifeOfMike -
Thank you for checking in. We haven't heard from you in over a year, so we were wondering how you are doing.

WifeOfMike
Posts: 1495
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:53 pm
Facebook Username: https://www.facebook.com/vbass123
Location: San Diego, California

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby WifeOfMike » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:55 pm

by JJH » Mon Jul 31, 2017 12:22 am
WifeOfMike -
Thank you for checking in. We haven't heard from you in over a year, so we were wondering how you are doing.


Thank you for remembering ME :D I miss so many people on here, who made such a delightful impact on me and my family during a tough time. I think about a lot of you OFTEN.

WE are doing OK.... It has been 2 1/2 years since I lost my soul mate. It sometimes seems like yesterday. I work a lot which keeps me busy. Being in our family store every day has its bitter sweet moments. It is where my loved one spent the better part of 32 years of his life. It is an honor for me & our 3 sons to continue his legacy.

I take care of my mom. It has its big plusses and a few hiccups adjusting. It is kind of comical when she reminds me to do things, like I am 10 :lol: But she is a happy soul and I very much welcome her companionship.

I can be found on Facebook if anyone cares to. It is where I have kept tight tabs on a number of friends that I met along our journey "HERE". https://www.facebook.com/vbass123
I send many hugs & kisses.... I am in eternal gratitude for CT and all of YOU
Vicki, the WifeOfMike
Bad Ass WIFE
Hubs: CRC IVA,T3, N0, M1A
Resect/LN Mets 10/12
Folfox4/Avastin 11/12-5/13
Folfiri/Erbitux 6/13-10/13
Stivarga 12/13-4/14
Trial 4/14-/14
Trial 8/14-11/14
HOME Hospice 11/17/14
Guardian Angel 1/1/15
Cost of HOPE? PRICELESS

JerryY
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 6:59 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby JerryY » Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:33 am

Hi everyone. I don't post much, but this board has given me so much information and support over the past 18 months. My dear wife died this past weekend at 53. She fought a valiant battle, but in the end the cancer was just too aggressive. She presented at Stage IV in March of '16 with a large mass in the descending colon and mets in the liver. Her fight was quite a struggle and things never went very well. It was increasing levels of pain and discomfort despite receiving excellent care in the Washington, DC area. I'm doing OK as I've been grieving this since day one and knew that this was the likely outcome. Our three school-aged children are also doing as well as can be expected, but I know our road ahead is long and hard. I know we won't be able to go it alone and will lean on friends, loved ones and professionals as much as we need to.

For those of you still in the fight, I wish you well and send along prayers and strength. And I mean this for both the patients and the care givers, because I now have an understanding of what this disease does to us. God bless.

Jerry

ronswife
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:25 am

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby ronswife » Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:54 am

HI Jerry,

I know exactly how you feel since I lost my beloved Ron only 9 months after his diagnosis. I feel his cancer was even more advanced than your wife's.

You are right, it will be a long very tough road ahead. But it sounds like you are doing all the right things and have a strong, positive attitude.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thanks for posting!

ronswife - Candace

:( :cry:
Husband Ron diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on 3/15/16, right after first colonoscopy at age 68. Had surgery to remove tumor on 3/31/16. Many mets on top and bottom of liver that are not resectable. Started chemo 4/28/16 using Fluorouracil (5-FU) and Irinotecan. Started Erbitux 5/26 on third chemo. Had very good results on 7/14 CT scan!! Treated with Avastin and Capecitabine 8/4/16. CT on 10/18 showed cancer growth. Now on FOLFOX. Placed in Hospice in early December and passed away 12/29/16.

Lee
Posts: 5086
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:09 pm

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby Lee » Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:20 pm

Dear Jerry,

Please accept my condolences to you and your kids on the passing of your wife/mother. 53 is too young. I lost a parent when I was 12-13 years old, I feel your kids pain. You just put one foot in front of the other and just move on, but very numb inside. Time has a way of healing, but you never forget. And yes, family and friends are very important right now and for at least the next year or two.

Good luck to you and your kids, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lee
rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

jhocno197
Posts: 803
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:33 pm

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby jhocno197 » Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:00 am

I am sorry, Jerry.
DH - dx Dec 2014, stage IV with bladder & peritoneal involvement - non-resectable
Colostomy
FOLFOX failed
FOLFIRI failed
Tumor actually distending pelvic skin
Not a candidate for last-ditch pelvic exenteration
Stivarga finally begun 2/19/16
Tumor growing/fungating
Lonsurf started 11/18/16
Died 3/10/17

bitchslapped
Posts: 1295
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:23 pm
Location: PNW/USA

Re: NEW THREAD FOR LOVED ONES LEFT BEHIND ONGOING

Postby bitchslapped » Sat Sep 16, 2017 4:33 pm

Extending my sympathies to you, Jerry, & to your children/family & friends for the loss of your DW. Even though, as you say, you've been grieving from the beginning it is still a long road. I know exactly what you mean. It sounds like you will be keeping a good eye on the kids & hopefully focus on the blessings their mom's love brought to all of you.

Best Wishes
BS
DSS,35YO,unresect mCRC DX 7/'14,lvr,LN,peri,rib
FOLFOX+Avstn 4 Rnds d/c 10/'14
Stent 9/'14
FOLFIRI+Avstn 10/'14
Gone From My Sight 2/20/15
Me:garden variety polyps + precancerous polyp
Carergver x2 DH,DM dbl occupancy,'03-'10
DH dx 47YO mCRC,'04-'07 fried x HAI
DM dx CC 85YO,CC,CHF,stroke,dementia,aphasia


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