Hey everyone,
Helen, I am sorry you are having a difficult time without Pam. You are not whining- you are grieving the love of your life. BIG Difference darlin, at least it is here with US. There are however folk out in the world who have zero idea what we are going through- if they themselves have never lost a loved one to death, much less a terminal disease. I have lost loved ones quickly, and Mike over a two year period. All were difficult to handle in their own ways, all leave me wanting more time with each & everyone of them. Mike I think was harder, because he was my soul mate of 34 years. I do not show it outwardly either. No one out "there" knows how hard it has been to cope.
Welcome Linda, I am sorry you are here with us, but also glad you have joined us. I have gained comfort here among others who have lost their loved one and understand what I am going through. Enduring Cancer has a caregiver stretches our emotions to the brink, and just when we thought we might break & have had all the heartache we can bear- it slams us onto the rocks and we are alone.
I hear you ladies loud and clear. It has not been a full two months, and I stay busy in the daytime, so missing Mike does not consume me. Sometimes I do not know whether that is a good or bad thing. I am thankful we owned the store, so looking for a new job is not an option for me. Paperwork that I am not used to doing IS stressful & I sometimes feel like a fish out of water. We are trying to wade through his collectible coins an inch at a time, so as not to make a mistake in evaluating & to not tip us over the edge. We are learning new tricks every single day, and I am proud of my sons for their efforts. I can see the stress lifting from their shoulders, now that mom is usually back at the store leading the way.
I find myself taking the coastal route from our shop to home at the end of the day- following the route Mike took. He found it a peaceful way to unwind and found comfort in the ocean. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel at peace on the drive- usually as the sun is setting, with pink clouds amid the blue sky overhead. It makes me think of him, every single time, & It has become somewhat of a ritual for me. It is at night, when it is quiet, and the kids are off in their separate spaces that the emptiness hits. I find the two pooches downstairs, and kitty Otis in my bedroom that are a comfort. I cannot imagine coming home to total emptiness. I have my sons over to dinner often, which breaks up the night for all of us & brings us together in a family atmosphere. I am lucky they live 10- 15 minutes away.
Since we own a vintage jewelry store, I can help with showing what I think Vicki did, by remounting her diamond in a "bezel" setting on top of a plain band (depends of course how wide (thick) the band was and how big the diamond was)
This is what a typical single diamond simple solitaire setting looks like in comparison, set in a "head"- which can be attached low, medium or high (height)
a BIG HUG to all of you tonight, from ME
Vicki (too)