Another passing... My dear sweet husband

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Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby SMR » Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:17 am

Three years ago today my soulmate proposed to me, and soon after I became his wife. On October 28, 2011 he was diagnosed, and we rode this crazy cancer journey together for exactly two years and five months. Our relationship grew stronger, and deeper than we ever could have imagined. Over the last two and a half years he endured over 60 chemo tx, over 100 nights in the hospital, radiation, HIPEC and a total of 8 surgeries and a heart attack. I was lucky enough to spend every night in the hospital by his side (the docs made fun of us because we'd be asleep holding hands when they came for morning rounds!), attend every appointment and TX. He passed almost to the hour exactly 29 months from the moment I got his diagnosis. I was able to honor his wishes to pass at home. Today on the anniversary of our engagement, I will bury the love of my life. I miss him as fiercely as I love him. I try to take solace in the fact that he is no longer suffering, but it certainly has run through my mind that had there been a cure to this damn disease he would ALSO no longer be suffering. Anyhow today will be a rough day as I head to my husbands funeral, but I know full well that I have only just begun to dip my toe into the deep depths of despair that is to come.


Thank you Maia for teaching me to add a photo!
Last edited by SMR on Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
DH DX 10/11 st IV unkown prmry
FFOX 12/11
HIPEC 3/12
FFOX 5/12
7/12 FFIRI
12/12 xeloda
1/13 resection
2/13 FFIRI
4/13 5FU/Avastin
9/13 recurrence, failed surgery
Abdominal fistula
11/13 gemzar, heart attack
12/13 Carbo
2/14 Radiation
3/28/2014 passed

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby cashmere » Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:27 am

I am so sorry for your devastating loss. May you get through today with the same grace you have shown throughout his life with you.
Stage III
Diagnosed 4/07 at 51
36 rad/24/7 chemo bag
surg 9/07
6 mon chemo w/48 hr bag
ileo reversal 5/08
NED since 9/07!!
Just resolved my 13th blockage
Been able to control blockage issues with fiber supplements!!

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby ams5796 » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:13 am

A beautiful love story. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and love for the days ahead.

Stage 3C (or 4?) Rectal Cancer 01/07
2/10 lung mets
3/11 VATS
6/11 VATS
7/13 lung met
2/14 SBRT
NED 8/14
5/17 scan and MRI found treated spine met

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby janklo » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:17 am

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. Thanks so much for your participation here on this board, we've all learned from you and I know you've learned from us. One of my favorite Beatles lyrics is "in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make" and I know you and your husband definitely fit that. You are right, he is no longer suffering and he is at peace.
Mom to 28 yo daughter
colectomy 2/22/10, stage 3C, signet cell
7/2011 peritoneal mets
HIPEC September 2012, difficult recovery
Hospice 10/31/2012, Died 11/16/2012

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Location: New York, New York

Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby Rheaeliza » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:27 am

So sad to read your news this morning, but also so moved by the love you have for him. As a patient who has been through a lot I can say to you that your love and devotion made your husbands last few years so rich, and so much easier than it would have been. Good luck today and in the days that follow. My thoughts are with you.
12/7/12: 30 yrs. old, Dx stage 4b.mets to liver, ovary, nodes, ommentum.
7 months chemo, shrinkage!
8/26/13 HIPEC, colon resection,hysterectomy, appndx, gallbladder out.
9/12/13:leak in colon, temp. loop ileost, home 9/18
11/3/13: liver resect.
1/2014 Ostomy reversal, one week later, abcess surg., fistula, tpn.
No more chemo, NED since 11/13

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby vickitwo » Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:11 am

I am sad to hear of the death of your dear husband Richard. I long for the day that the end of suffering from this dang disease is from a cure and not a premature death. May you be comforted by the many sweet memories of the time you had together. The loss of a spouse brings with it another roller coaster of emotions. For me, I find it to be more managable to take it one day at a time. Sending love your way.

DH Dx 1/2012 @ age 52
stage IV CC
transverse colon,omentum, cecum,liver,lungs,L5
9 rounds of Folfox, Avastin,
radiation tx to L5 and hips
12/13/13 Folfox/Avastin
1/4/2014 passed away @ Hospice House- age 54

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby ziggymonster » Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:49 am

I am so very sorry to hear this young...too soon....praying for strength for you in the coming months.
DX advanced prostate cancer 2002
2014 still fighting mPca , failed surgery, radiation, hormone
DX Stage IIIa Rectal Cancer 12/12 1 of 12 nodes +
LAR permanent colostomy 1/13
Folfox 2/13 - 7/13 clear CT CEA 1.2
7/14 liver met chemo the resect in Oct
6/15 2 pos lung mets watching for now

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby Colon Girl » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:10 pm

I wish I had something meaningful and profound to say that wasn't cliche or sound insincere, but when it comes to a loved one passing, there just are no words worthy enough. I am however, grateful that you had the opportunity to experience a relationship so grand and beyond what many others only long to have and that you will always have those memories. And I agree with you… there needs to be a cure for a disease that is touted as "preventable". You are in our thoughts and I am sending you big Blue Star hugs. Thanks for sharing your journey with us <3
Krista Wilson
The Colon Club

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby livingbyfaith » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:43 pm

Lost my hubby October 24th, just starting to feel again. God is carrying me as He will you until you can proceed again. I have found great help in an online support group for widows and widowers on Daily Strength. Two books have helped a lot Hello from Heaven and Reflections of a Grieving Spouse. God bless, so sorry about your loss. Janet
Hubby 72 cc
Resctn colon 07 stage 3/11 15 cm liver met CEA 3000+
CPT 11, 12 xelox kras wild gall blddr rem 7-12 & abltn
liver stents bi-mo gilbert lng mets , cpt-11 3-13, 2 hernia surgeries2013 & liver abltn went to heaven 10-24-13

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby Lee » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:14 pm

I am so sorry to read this and for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

rectal cancer - April 2004
46 yrs old at diagnoses
stage III C - 6/13 lymph positive
radiation - 6 weeks
surgery - August 2004/hernia repair 2014
permanent colostomy
chemo - FOLFOX
NED - 10 years and counting!

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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby Maia » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:17 pm

SMR wrote: I miss him as fiercely as I love him.

That touches my heart. May he rest in peace, may you feel peace and his love, always.

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Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:39 pm

Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby some » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:22 pm


I am so sorry for your loss. It's always a great shock. I know you and your husband enjoyed your time together and are a great match. He is a handsome man with a kind face. We are here for you, but I hope you have someone who can be close to you when you need them.


DH (age 41) diag Stage IV mets to peritoneum - July 2012 (undetectable on CT PET or MRI)
Folfox 7 & Avastin started July 2012 CEA, CA 19-9 not indicators
HIPEC surgery 1/18/13
Folfiri/Erbitux - March 2013
Lots of prayers.

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Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:02 pm
Location: Montréal Quebec

Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby mtlimpactfan » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:50 pm

My most sincere thoughts are with you.
DW 38 DX 1/09 CRC(T3N1) 3/33 LN (colitis @19yo)
6/09 Temp Ileo J-pouch
Folfox 12 rds
06/12 regional recurrence SRC adn poorly diff Gr3/3
28rds ChemRad
surgery (hyst, ileo)
12/12 Folfox 12 rds
2013 All neg Pet/CT
05/14 It's back, inoperable
09/14 Vectibix

scattered edge
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Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby scattered edge » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:55 pm

so sorry for your loss. I hate this darned disease.. :cry:

resection 2/11/11
T3N2M0 (17/24LN)
joined the IV olympians ..... 7/12 mets to distant nodes
mets to pancreas, liver, spine
chemo for life, panitumumab for now

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Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:23 pm
Location: Orcas Island, WA

Re: Another passing... My dear sweet husband

Postby orcasres » Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:39 pm

It sounds like you made a lifetime of memories in a very short period of time. I hope you can find peace in the coming days and months.

63 yo F
Colon resection Sept. 2010
pT3N0M0 Stage 2A
Medullary Tumor 6.5cm long
Lymphovascular invasion
Lynch negative
12 FOLFOX 11/2010 to 5/2011 8 w/Oxi
NED so far

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