ktwmn wrote:Dear Kristi:
I too occupy the "facing cancer alone" subgroup. I like to think of it as the guerilla warrior group, not the pitiable victim club. I agree that sometimes the hardest thing is watching family or friends fall to emotional pieces or express pity. I have to admit that at times I do not react well when I am on the receiving end because here I am trying to work full time, deal with the things everybody has to deal with like paying bills, doing repair projects, fixing meals, going to the gym, and then all of a sudden I am sent hurtling down the abyss to that "cancer victim" role. As an example, when someone you see once a year tells you that you look good, because they have been told by martyric family of origin that you have cancer. Oh, it's the "cancer you look good greeting" I often blurt out, proving once more that cancer has made me (even more of) a b***ch. Or when family of origin or even work colleagues that heard through the grapevine about your dx want you to talk about cancer with them... Ummm, no, not your business! Can't we talk about something else? And then to have to explain that when you ask me questions about cancer (because it makes you feel better about yourself either to know information to pass onto others or to go through the self-congratulatory experience of offering meaningless "help" or because you have a sense of entitlement to my experience) I really don't wish to discuss these details with you...because although I think about cancer every hour of every day your bringing it up to me forces me to have to think of it AGAIN.
Sorry for the rant....But often those of us without a partner or "support person" have to be tough. Sometimes we come across as hard, maybe even mean. Sometimes well-meaning people come across in a way that makes us feel awful about ourselves. It's hard to explain sometimes.
And yes. Our pets understand and don't judge us. They love us for who we are.
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