Postby Fred.R » Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:28 am
All I can say is, good for you for making the decision you thought was best for you.
I have been working non stop for nearly 20 years... when I got my "news" I went into denial, continued acting as though my collectomy was going to solve everything, I'd take a hit for a week and then get back on the treadmill. Even with the complication of a tear, and having to go back into the hospital for a few weeks, I was treating this like an inconvenience rather than the important, life-changing moment that it was.
Finally, I made the decision to throttle back on my decade long "Type A" march. Focus on healing, letting myself be sad and angry when it was time to be sad and angry and letting myself focus on the tough decisions - both daily to be made with my healing from surgery and the ones that are coming (Do I do Chemo with Type 2? If I don't, when do I do a reversal? When will I have my energy back?)
The second I put work behind my health and my family, it became easier for me to focus on healing and took TONS of pressure off me.
I understand not everybody has that luxury. But if you know in your heart you need time to absorb this and figure out your new normal and you can, I applaud the step back. I can only speak for myself - I have no idea who I will be after this journey. But I'm sure be it in small ways or big, it will change me. And I want the freedom to live the rest of my life as THAT person, rather than pretending to be who I was before the diagnosis and eat the pressure and constraints that would create.
Those are my thoughts. I hope some of them translate to your situation. Wishing you all the best.
- F
DX: 6/20
Surgery: 8/10
Emerg. Surgery: 8:/13
Diagnosed Stage II, t3N0m0
No Chemo
Takedown 11/1