The Colon Club

This is not an easy decision ... and must be a difficult time for you and your family. I respect your honoring your husband's wishes and accepting his decision. May peace be with you both.

Kathy,
My husband has been hanging on for about the same length of time as Blake. We signed him up for hospice today. It's not an easy decision. What it can do is get you more services at home. He may continue to beat the odds and live longer than expected. I really hope so.
My strongest thoughts go out to you.
Gloria

Thank you for the update. I have tremendous respect and admiration for you both. This is a challenging time in your lives and it sounds like you are facing it head on - making the choices YOU want to make. I hope when I am at that point that I have the strength to make the difficult decisions you are making now.

Sending strong thoughts, love, prayers and even a few swinging chickens your way.

My thoughts are with you and your husband. We had a dear friend make the same decision a few weeks ago after a 9 year battle with breast cancer. The grace and love that she showed in those last weeks was amazing. My friend and her family were so at peace in the end. It was amazing to see. Hoping for comfort and pain management for Blake. You were one of the first posters that I followed on the Colon Club when I first began participating. You have always had a practical and upbeat approach in this journey no matter what your family faced. Prayers for all of you.

My MIL left on her own terms as well and she really enjoyed her last days without all the chemo in her body. I hope that the pain will be controlled so that the two of you can enjoy absolutely everything together. You two are most definitely an inspiration!

I totally understand Blake's decision. I feel the same way. I hope to get 2 more years and hit that 6 year mark too! I'd much rather have quality of life (as much as possible - without adding awful side effects from chemo) at the end of my life as well. My family agrees with this. That decision has already been made. I will continue treatments as long as they beat down the cancer to continue giving me little treatment breaks where I do have some QOL. Once that is gone, I will stop. I would take 3 months of not having to deal with treatment side effects over 6 bad ones struggling with them and wishing I were dead 50% of the time anyway for certain.

May you and Blake and your family and friends enjoy this time together without worrying about treatments. And I pray the pain meds keep him comfortable to do so. I'm really sad that he is nearing the end, but glad he made it past 6 years and that he did it and continues to do it, on his own terms.

All,

Thank you so much for all your kind replies! My heart is full.

Yesterday was a great day - today, Blake is hurting a bit. I believe these kind posts will cheer him up.

Thank you! xoxo

Kathy

Thank you for updating us. Wow 80+ treatments - that is alot - I can certainly understand that that is enough. Your post is truly inspiring and thank you for sharing. I hope that Blake is able to remain comfortable and wishing you peace and love through the next phase.

blakeswife wrote:.......So, that's our update. I hope it's inspiring and not depressing. Blake has lived a very good life since diagnosis; this has not been a death sentence but a reminder to enjoy life & not sweat the small stuff.

It is always inspiring to me when we can take a positive step in engaging in our own future, decisions, treatments and really .... Own it !
Wherever this whole circus takes us .. We are still exactly there : for whatever reason, just where we need to be.
IF that means "no mas" then celebrate that decision and make peace with it all.
Sometimes enough is truly enough.

I celebrate Blake's decision as just that very powerful energy which can set us free from all the fears and doubts.
Live with the peace of knowing what IS. Don't be dragged along with the uncertainty of "what if".
Hope this also makes sense to you both.

When I can find that Harmony, I will have succeeded in conquering the beast.
Your post is stirring up memories of some of my 2008 posts here :
" Cancer may well kill me..... but it will NEVER defeat me. "

In Harmony with you both
and always somewhere on some kind of a Journey
CRguy

Hi Kathy,

I never post on here but read all the time...
Your post really moved me and truly inspired me. I can only hope and pray that I am able to handle my husbands last months the way you are.
Your post stood out to me as its sounds so similar to my husbands- only he is 10 treatments and diagnosed at the beginning of this year
But everything else, including the drugs he takes and even his name are the same-( Now I know why when I signed up to this forum the name blakeswife was taken)

All the best to you and your Blake
Thanks for sharing

I just saw this post, Blakesbride! I'm sure your Blake is a wonderful man and I hope he does as well in his treatment.