A new kind of journey for Midnight_Engineer

[midnight_engineer]

It is with great sadness that I inform you all of the passing of my Father, midnight_engineer, on May 21st. He posted only 31 times throughout our 32 months of fighting Stage IV, but had tremendous respect for this forum. It helped us so much- especially through those scary first months after diagnosis. He was a witty man who spoke from the heart and mind. He was amazing- did all his own research, dictated his treatment, found and enrolled in TWO clinical trials and made it (via facetime) to his ultimate goal- seeing my younger brother graduate from college. We miss him terribly but feel so blessed to have had him for as long as we did.

I have learned so much as a primary caregiver and meticulous record-keeper. I have a grand vision: I simply can not let all the knowledge- everything we've learned about colon cancer, about medical mysteries, about life, about love, about hope- go to waste. My goal is to post and respond as regularly as possible, as a tribute to him, as a tribute to you. My dad followed Gaelen's posts religiously. He loved the way she thought and wrote, and he was devastated when he learned of her passing last year. I hope they are both in another world now, sharing their brilliant minds.

Please reach out to me with questions, frustrations, hesitations. I will send my personal email address to anyone who sends me a private message and requests it. We've been through it all and new people are sadly joining this fight every day. I can't wait to help you.

Love,
O
(Daughter of M.E.)

[rosa01]

Sorry to hear of the loss of your father. It sounds like he left behind a caregiver who has gained a knowledge we all hope we learn through this journey. Its hard for all of us to caregivers but it seems we all learn so much from the ones we care for. They give us a special blessing that we hope we will pass along to others.

God Bless

Sheila

[pollo65]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your dad but happy that you have decided to stay around and share your knowledge.
pollo 65

[usopen]

I am extremely saddened to hear this. I was following your dad's story. I had inquired about 6 months ago about the liver tumors trial in R.I., but decided not to do it mainly because I did have the hai pump....but that failed me, and I had a failed liver surgery, too.

I then saw where your dad had started the second part of the trial. It sounds like the doctors there were as excellent as could be. I was hoping and praying for him. What a trailblazer he was. He certainly has given back in a huge way by providing needed information to fight this complex disease. I wish I could personally thank him.

( What i do is, everynight is light a candle (flameless, of course), and dedicate it to one person, and say a prayer. I keep it on all night.
Tonight it will be dedicated to you dad.

Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful daughter. Yes, please, please, post more.

Joan

[concernedrelative]

I didn't know him for long only coming across his posts recently. His desire to illuminate and share his ongoing story was admirable. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. Concerned Relative

[CRguy]

Please accept my sincere sympathies over the passing of your father.
Sending prayers and best wishes for your own journey ahead, and thank you for continuing to be a part of our community.

In Harmony
CRguy

[Rob in PA]

I am incredibly saddened to hear of the passing of your Father. I am also incredibly touched that you continue to reach out during this difficult time to help others. God bless you and may your Father be at peace now.

Rob

[Canadianmom]

You write as eloquently as your father. I always looked forward to his posts. He had a great life philosophy.
May he rest in peace. You and your family are in my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts.

[Bev G]

My deepest condolences to you. I always enjoyed reading your dad's posts very much. I am certain he was a fascinating man to have as a dad. I am so glad to know that you will remain with us the board.I hope many wonderful memories will help to sooth your grief, at least a little.

Very sincere best wishes to you.

Bev

[Guinevere]

I'm so sad to read of your dad's passing. Like Bev, I enjoyed his posts. I'm praying for peace, comfort and strength for you and the family in the next days, weeks and months. Thank you for continuing the fight and offering to share what you've learned from others. That's one of the wonderful things about this forum that I love so much!
God bless ~
Guinevere

[Phuong]

I too enjoyed your dad's posts tremendously. We all have been at the "newbie" stage and that seems to be a shared "uncertain" period. Anything that anyone can share to help folks through the initial stages of their journey lifts such a tremendous burden. So thank you for coming here to share the news with us and even more so, for your incredibly kind offer to help at such a sad time for you.

[ams5796]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your dad seemed like a very special person.




Ann

[Maia]

I'm so sorry to read this, so sorry for your loss. I've read each post of your dad with great interest. He seemed to me, in those few posts, like all what you have said about him. Hope his love accompanies you each day of your life.

[Laurettas]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's death. He sounds like he had a wonderful attitude and that means so much.

I am interested in your desire to stay connected here. We have recently been discussing the idea of starting a thread to discuss issues of dying and death. Maybe it is something we could work on together. I think there is a need for that and it might be helpful to have a few of us who have gone through the experience as caregivers to offer support and advice. Let me know if you are interested.

[livingbyfaith]

Your dad's fight sounds a lot like my husbands. I cared for my father who lost his fight to prostate cancer. I became a chemo angel hoping not to waste all the knowledge I had gained as you have. They match you as close to they can to your experience. You angel people via mail thru cards and small gifts. You can get more information thru chemoangels.com. God bless.