One of the most beautiful Women I have ever known...

[edgellc]

Hey Yall,
Well looking back my last post was some time ago. So much has happened in the last few months of my journey. Let me start by saying that for years I loved four Women...Wifey and My three Lovely Daughters, Now I have to add one more Women to that short list. To fully explain I need to shed a little light on the old "pre cancer" Me...(Fade into Flashback) When I was I very young boy my parents, In their infinant wisdom thought it best to rip our loving family apart and proceeded with a divorce hearing. I soon adapted to this new life with two houses, two sets of friends and two sets of parental units, But for all intensive purposes we will be focusing on the Paternal side of my family. My Father was a workaholic and found little time to deal with the tedious day to day going ons of the house hold, but my Wicked Step Mother ruled the house with an iron fist. My memories do get a little foggy here but I think I even remember some 16th century mid evil torture devices out in the shed. To say the least I thoroughly despised this mean haggard old axe wound of a women. (End Flashback) Over the years My relationship with my Father and the Vile abomination that he married had decentagrated to an occasional and brief five minute phone call to say Im still alive, Even after her DX of Brest Cancer a full six years before my own DX I still had no interest in talking to her. Then when I received the news that I had Cancer Like most of the people here I was devastated and to make things worse The women that I had grown so used to hating was blowing up my cell phone incessantly every ten damn minutes that stupid friggin phone rang I knew it was her because she left fifty million messages on my cell phone most of them simply saying "I know you can hear me! Pick up, I need to talk to you. Pick up." Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Then I find out that Wifey of all people was my undoing!!!!! She is the one that called My Father and relayed the news of my DX. After a couple of weeks went by with me still in a haze of confusion trying to digest all of the startling and sometimes scary info that Dr. Google could provide. I crashed from sheer exhaustion and depression. While I was laying there in bed my phone rang, with Wifey working that night, I not thinking It could be anyone else answered the phone after the first couple of rings, The voice on the other end of the line simple said one sentence that changed my life forever,and immediately made me start uncontrollably sobbing. It was My Step Mother and she said "Please dont hang up, I Love You, and I may be the only person that You know, that knows exactly how you are feeling wright now." Since then she has been a daily source of Cancer related information. I cant seem to pinpoint the day or hour that I opened up and let her fully into my heart but it did happen. I grew to Love this women. Not as a Step Mother but as a Friend, A confidant, A Parent and dare I say even A Mother. I grew to admire her strength and courage. Even though She knew that her own DX was grim She still held her head high with dignity and confidence to show all the world that She is a Strong Women and not just a Cancer patient. She and my Father even made the seven hour road trip to visit us. A few weeks after that I received a call from my Father. The Dear, Sweet Women that I had once feverishly hated had taken a turn for the worse. Wifey and I immediately made plans for the kiddos and within hours of receiving the news headed out to be with the Women that had helped me so much in that last few months. Only an hour or so into our trip at about three in the morning on a long dark stretch of highway 59 my phone rang. It was my Father, He only said two words..."She Passed.".... after a few seconds I told him "Im on my way" and hung up. The next Six hours seemed to be an eternity of never ending highways with plenty of time to reflect on all of the torment and anguish that I had put this Lovely Women through when I was a child. Upon arrival Wifey and I found the house full of her family that I had not seen or spoken to in more than twenty five years. We both overheard the whispers of "Why is He here?" and the odd looks when they thought that we were not looking. Surprisingly enough we made it through the day without my tongue getting loose and saying something inappropriate. and the following weekend returned for the services. I had held up pretty good so far but at the grave side i couldn't stop looking at the Blue CC bracelet that had been on my wrist for almost a year now. After the pal bearers filed by placing their boutiners on the casket and then every one else paying their final respects I was the first seated with the Family to quietly stand and with a tear in my eye I walked up to the casket, removed the CC bracelet from my wrist and placed it on top of the casket that held one of the most beautiful women I have ever known...My Mother....She is but one of the many reasons that I still fight.

[kiwiinoz]

Hi Edge

Good & moving post man. I guess cancer can be a very divisive thing as it has been with my family, and despite the sad news I am pleased that it has been a force to bring you closer to your step mother.

Remember her well.

Kiwi

[janklo]

A beautiful post and the perfect tribute to your stepmom.

[KarMel]

A truly remarkable and beautiful post.

I see cancer tearing families apart, but also, like your story, I see sometimes a tremendous out pouring of love,support, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Thank you for sharing this.

[Maia]

This is so beautiful, Edge... She departed knowing you love her, you had time to love her and she loved you. This is probably one of the biggest 'treasures' you'll get in your lifetime --and hers, too.
Thank you for opening your heart to us.

[edinaman]

Thank you for the beautiful post. It is heartening to read of cancer bringing people together, when so often the opposite happens. You know, you have been missed on here.
Jeff

[BrendaB]

Very beautiful, glad you both got to have a special relationship after a not so good one. Thank you for sharing with us.

[Lee]

I'm sorry she did not make it, but what a BEAUTIFUL tribute to your step mother. She is now your angel, and will be with you on you journey ALWAYS!!

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.

Lee

[pog451]

Beautiful post. Thank you.

[Lisahopes]

Edge what an incredible story. Just shows you how cancer can change everything!

[SMR]

Edge-

You made me cry. I always enjoy your writing. I am a step mom, and the kids live with us most of the time. DH has this horrible disease which leaves me with much of the "do your homework, eat your veggies" duties. I love the kids so dearly, and sometimes I think they love me too. Their mom takes them on fancy vacations, buys them fancy clothes and toys, and worst of all says mean things about me at every turn (and just to be clear I married her ex about 6 years after she divorced him to go be with another man!) I pack lunches, drive to sports, work full time, go to every onc appointment and research treatment options daily. Sometimes the kids can be pretty mean to me. I fear that if DH can not beat the beast that I will not only lose the love of my life, but also my family! Their mom will take them and move them out of state to where she moved- I will be totally alone. No longer a wife nor a (pseudo) mother. It is absolutely terrifying. When I tuck the youngest in at night and we snuggle I lose my breath thinking of losing him too if we don't beat this thing... Anyhow I've hijacked your post long enough with my venting of fears!

I'm so happy for you and for her that you were able to establish this great relationship before she passed.

[Mariaksure]

Wonderful story, interesting thanks.

[tammylayne]

I was very touched by your story. Isn't it funny how the right people come through for us at just the right time. And when we get to develop those cherished relationships, everyone wins.

I am glad you were able to have that loving relationship with her, and I hope you never dwell on the early years, but take strength from the important years, the ones where you found that loving common ground.

thank you for sharing.

[Guinevere]

First of all, I'm glad to see you posting here! I've been afraid you were worse or something.

I'm a stepmom of 32 years and also a stepdaughter of 30 years so I know both sides of it. Sometimes, I was the "wicked stepmom", especially after he moved in with us at age 14 and I was all of the age of 25 but we've grown so close over the years. I'm so thankful for you that she persisted in reaching out and that you had that time to share because she's right. She was probably the only person who could really know what it's like.

God bless you and Wifey. She did a good thing! I'm so sorry for your loss but so thankful blessings came beforehand to sustain you.

Guinevere

[Jack&KatiesMommy]

I am at my desk at work crying so hard....what a beautiful tgribute to your Step-Mom....and to your love of her.

Thank you.
Cynthia