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Mali
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:41 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Hello friends

Postby Mali » Fri May 05, 2006 4:27 pm

Hi folks

It's a fair while that I've not visited the club. I find in order to do so I have to be in a properly prepared state of mind, unlike now. It is late and i'm rushed as ever, hence the lack of quality of response to my friends, in particular, Dana, Dot, Andrea and all of you.

But I figure a quick hello is better than no hello at all.

Dot, thank you for your message. I was relieved to receive an update. So what was the pain in Bob's back? Have they figured it out or was it just incidental? I'm relieved he has no further progression. Power to you in your continued fight.

Dana, as I said this morning, I still owe you a long letter. It's coming this weekend.

My latest is that I'm attending the oncologist appointment with my Mum on Monday May 8th. She is now in a hospice until Wednesday and Dad is in Italy until Thursday. Mum has been in the hospice for a over a week now. It is a wonderful place and doing her so much good. I don't know if you guys in the States have hospices so forgive me while I describe them further if you already know all about them.

They are few and far between in the U.K. My Mum's hospice only has room for about 26 beds. It is an old grand house that has been extended. Per patient there are huge amounts of room. It's like an oasis in the middle of Birmingham. The gardens surrounding the place are pretty and heavenly and there is a deep sense of peace and sometimes saddness that exudes through the place. The patients are treated so well, wonderful food, beautiful clean comfortable rooms and en suite bathrooms, there's a little chapel, numerous sweet little sitting rooms, gardens galore. It is usually a place where people will go who are terminal and most of them will not leave the place and are usually very close to the end of their lives. A few people (including Mum) there are 4 of them there at the moment out of 26, are there just for respite, ie, a rest.

The place is doing my Mum so much good, it is as if she is almost on a holiday away from her illness, away from everything stressful and yet while she has been there one woman has died. But in such a peaceful and contemplative environment that although the hurt is terrible, the kindness of the place makes everything softer.

Mum has come to a decision, she has told me she has decided she will not have chemo. She doesn't want to take the risk that chemo could dramatically worsen the quality of her life due to side effects. She says that in the last month she has met too many people who have had just one or two first shots of chemo and have ended up in hospital very ill indeed. My Mum has decided she is going to Italy, and wants as much quality for the rest of her life as possible.

I'm so tired now, folks, forgive me if I come to a sharp end. Tired and in a daze, on the one hand I can no longer relate my Mum to the dynamic, energetic, bossy woman she used to be, and on the other hand, I cannot believe that I am talking about her final days.

You all mean so much, thank God I found this site.

I'll be in touch soon
and Dana, you will get your long letter this weekend, I swear it.

Love to all, to Dot, to Bob, to Thelma, to dear Andrea and her children, to GoofyDad, to Astephens, to Dana, to Michelle, to all the beautiful people out there.

Night night
Mali

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