To get married or not to get married...

[Iowaboy1]

My end is near. This disease has been VERY quick. Luckily for me, it has been pretty painless so far.

My girlfriend of nearly 8 years is the love of my life. The only pain I feel is the look of worry in her eyes.

I should have married her a long time ago. We should have had kids.

Nothing would make me (and her) happier than to call her my wife.

But what of the financial burdens I could place on her if we do this?

Is it fair to subject her to an even bigger emotional roller coaster?

My heart tells me nothing is fair about cancer, and she will ride the roller coaster no matter what.

My heart tells me to marry her. My problem is that my brain thinks too much.

[Sweet Peg]

Iowaboy....If your girlfriend knows and understands what is ahead of her, I say GET MARRIED!!! She will love you and go through this with you anyway and you know it...IF she really loves you. And how do you KNOW it is over? You have to stay positive!!! Look how many Stage IV survivors are in here!!!! Getting married might be the best thing to do for your outlook on all this. Having happiness in your life and something to look forward to could change how you heal all this too you know. Positive attitude and happiness is 99.9% of the cure!!!! Stop dwelling on the negative and start looking at the positive!! One day at a time.....smile a lot, laugh a lot, have positive thinking, PRAY a lot and get close to your Lord and watch what happens!!! hang in there iowaboy....go where your heart leads you!!!

Sweet Peg and Iowagirl!!!!

[Fishy]

iowaboy, if your girlfriend is eager for you two to get married no matter what and you want to as well, i say get married. but there are logical issues as well. if she wants to plan a wedding and all, that might be a tad hard to realistically make definite plans while dealing with the cancer as well. also, marriage brings a lot of financial disadvantages. you guys have been together eight years, so married isn't going to change the fact that she is the love of your life.you two might enjoy the whole wedding/newlywed experience a lot more when you get better.that's just the logical side of things- put your heart always has the right to override your mind.

[Holly]

Iowaboy!

Welcome to the Colon Club and your survivorship! First things first. I read that you feel that your end is near. Why do you feel such?

So you want to get married, huh? What in the world is stopping you? You say that the two of you have been together for 8 years. I assure you that whether you live or die, your significant other (girl friend or wife) will likely experience emotional and psychological pain. This is human nature she loves you. Whether or not you are married this will not change. I second Sweet Peg's comments. She should know...she did just tie the knot! I sure hear a lot of what ifs in your tone Iowaboy...Like the Nike ads say....Just do it, already!

Iowaboy, I want you to remember this...ALL things are truly possible if you believe. Know that you are inmy thoughts and prayers and do update the colon club on your journey!

Hugs!

Holly

p.s. I was born in Des Moines!

[michele]

Iowaboy,

I agree with everyone else. If you two want to get married, do it. A big wedding might be difficult, but you could do it simply. I understand the money worries, but if she is willing...that is up to her.

My prayers are with you. I pray you will live much longer than you seem to anticipate. Keep positive.

michele

[blanca]

Iowaboy,
I can understand how you might be confused about getting married. Financially it is very hard to overcome going through cancer. I think you should weigh out all the options and the decision to marry should be between you and your girlfriend.

[Dana]

Hello Iowaboy,

I agree with everyone and please go ahead and get married. Nothing can make a woman more happy than to marry the man she loves. Keep it small so you don't need to get involved in too much wedding planning and this will also keep the cost down.
And about yourself: never give up, please!

You're in my thoughts

Dana

[kevinlv]

Iowaboy,

Nothing has given me greater joy in my life than marriage. Escept possibley my two daughter that were a result of my marriage. We never know how long we have. People will leave their house today in good health and never return. Only god knows how long we have. You could outlive you girlfriend. Marry her it ill bring you both joy.

[Tammy Figg]

Iowa-
Get married, I was diagnosed 6 weeks before my wedding. There is no greater feeling to know that the person you love is in it for the long haul. Most people say their vows but maybe never live it, my husband did.
You will get to know what most people wait a lifetime for, and that is to know that someone does love you through sickness and health. I know for me, it was the best gift I got, to know I had Bryan with me.