How to reconcile fight for life with suicide attempt?

[Realtor]

Just know that there are people out here thinking about you and your daughter and praying for you. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, obviously at Mayo's, and just keep doing it. Thank God for the guardian angel that was her facebook friend. How courageous of him to start the ball rolling to track her down! Best wishes for good outcomes in all your challenging journeys. Hugs, Dan

[Guinevere]

Clincal depression and logic never go hand-in-hand. It's a chemical imbalance and I'll bet your daughter can't even understand why she feels the way she feels. Getting her help and maybe meds will help. I'm just so thankful she has a friend who took the warning signs seriously. People can't help being clinically depressed any more than we could help getting cancer.
I'll be praying for y'all ~
Guinevere

[pearlgirl]

I believe this is comparing apples to oranges.

Bodies ravaged by other types of diseases don't always bring the mental impairment that serious, severe depression can manifest. Depressed people cannot reason beyond the tiny circle of light in which they find themselves, surrounded on all sides by "mental darkness". While I can understand how some people would think it is a selfish act, I beg to differ. People who are truly suicidal - not just testing the waters for attention - are not trying to be selfish, They just. cannot. think. beyond. the pain. They are not doing it to their families, their friends - not to anyone but themselves. Even though we on the outside realize the horrific impact it has on us, I don't believe many can get to that rationale when they have fallen so deeply into depression. They see no other way out.

For those who have lost a loved one to suicide (there have been two such losses in my family), I offer what might be a controversial way to look at their deaths. (I am not trying to stir things up, just sharing what hours of reflection have brought to my mind.) Consider that people can suffer for years - even a lifetime - with an illness and get to the point where they say, "I cannot do this anymore. I can't live with this pain." or even "I don't believe my God wants me to live like this any longer." They can believe, "I have tried. I have done what I could, and I cannot fight it any longer." If this was a "physical" rather than a "mental" illness, would we be as judgmental?

PLEASE LET ME STRESS that I am not condoning suicide! Every effort should be made to get help for those who are suffering from mental illnesses that are leading persons in that direction. I just wish we could view such desperate acts with compassion, rather than as a self-centered statement directed at those who survive them.

I truly hurt for your family and commend you for doing all you can to bring your daughter back to health. I wish her the best and hope she can soon see a brighter future awaiting her. Peace to you, and to her.

[fritts44]

Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through all this at once.

I agree with Sammy. You'll never be able to rationalize it & you'll never be able to convince her to see it through your eyes. Your daughter is sick. She has a mental disease that needs to be treated just as your husband's physical disease needs to be treated. I'm praying her illness is mild ("Stage I" ), and she can find a treatment that her disease will respond to quickly.

Unfortunately, her treatment may be trial & error until she finds success, and it could be a very long process. I really hope she finds success with her first trial so there's no error.

[Raisel]

I have had to,deal with suicidal feelings most of my life. When I would go for help counselors would flip out and I learned to keep it inside. I believe there is a genetic and physical component becuz feeling left me during an attempt. I hope n pray ur daughter gets all the help she deserves and u too. I also hope the attitudes toward this mental (and possibly physical) condition will have gotten better and more research h Ben done. Wish you both the best.

[Deirdre]

Julia

I am so sorry you are going through this & so thankful that amazing young man contacted the police. I know you are consumed with keeping your precious husband and precious daughter both alive, for very different reasons.
It is totally inexplicable as to how these things happen but I would like to share some thoughts with you. All my life I have suffered from acute anxiety. I am trying everything I can to stop it controlling my life. The impact it has is enormous. Life changing. Life directing. There have been many times I have been overwhelmed withdraw as to what will happen, how will I manage. Feeling alone, even when surrounded by people is terrifying. Yet to the outside world, no one would ever know the depth of these feelings, even family.
As fear of death is a component of my anxiety, suicidal thoughts would never be an issue but did I not have that fear, I could see how such turmoil could send a person to such thoughts. For anyone in deep anxiety, depression, the over riding feeling and driving is to stop the gripping fear/anguish/worry. This outweighs being surrounded by even the most loving family. You simply will do anything to make it go away.
I went recently for hypnotherapy & when asked what outcome I wanted, I said 'to wake up and see every day as an opportunity and not as a worry, to take out the 'worry chip' in my brain.
I hope that the expert medical help achieves this for your daughter. Her pain is hers, despite all your efforts to take it away.
Thinking of you all x

[usopen]

Sorry your family is dealing with so much. Great support and comments here. I echo the words that mental illness is a different complex disease. Hopefully, though, with alot of time, your daughter can reach and maintain better health. I am sure of it.
Praying for healing.

Joan

[jgall]

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your personal stories and well wishes. She's doing well, and I've come to learn that apparently the new drug she was taking, Effexor, has been linked with suicidal thoughts. That might explain why her depression and anxiety that's never been a suicidal depression has suddenly turned suicidal! What a week!

Julia

[alphagam]

I've waited awhile to post this. Before my relatively simple cancer diagnosis, I had made a suicide attempt. I was deeply depressed and just wanted to be done with pain. I'm better now, thanks to counseling and drugs, but... I need those drugs. My mind is always figuring out ways to die without hurting my family. Honestly, it's only because I can't figure out the last part that Iam still alive. I have decided, and my advance directives are in place, that if my rectal cancer ever returns, there will be no treatment other than palliative care.

I know your husband is in the fight and I pray for you all frequently, but I am not there. My best friend's son committed suicide at the beginning of Oct. I saw the pain that they went through, so I won't put my family through that, PERIOD. But I will not continue my life one day when and if the time comes.

I truly believe that you need to change glasses when you talk about your daughter and your husband. They are looking at life in completely different ways. You go to the cancer center, fight through chemo and it's side effects, visit the oncologist, surgeon, whatever is needed to continue the fight. That is very, very good. But, look at the other side, your daughter. She needs a depression center, specialist in the field and the drugs that an keep her alive. Same plan, just different paths.

I hope I haven't offended, just wanting you to know that only the view of life is different, the "fight" is different.

Kathy

[Raisel]

Hi, any feedback is appreciated. I've gone through round 5 of 8 with oxi and xeloda. Before starting my 6th round I expressed how much side effects were hurting me especially neuropathy in feet. They took away oxi for 6th
Round with xeloda. Pain in legs have increased. There are days I cannot walk. My heels are cracked and last night it felt like candles burning my soles. Onc office is aware but don't seem to care. They want me to see side effects dr and I have appt. I decided to quit xeloda and chemo because Im scared neuropathy will get worse and also be permanent. I see onc on tues and I don't know what he will say.,

Has anyone been there? I wanted to finish chemo but now I don't care. Thx much for listening.

[michelle c]

I am so sorry for what your family is going through. It must be terribly hard on you - please do not try to understand or work out why your daughter did this - you will never be able to understand why. I do believe that she didn't want to die but was crying out for help because she let someone know of her intentions. From my experience, people who are serious about committing suicide don't tell anyone what they are about to do. I hope and pray that your daughter receives the care she needs and that you find some peace in all this.