the elephant in the room is revealed

[lepperl]

You are an amazing person! Your families strength is beyond what words can describe. I am so glad that Lauren has some control over her last wishes during this terrible time. I am also so glad and amazed at how you are able to let her do it. My husband knows nothing. I pay all the bills and handle the finances. He does not want me to show him period. My mother is impossible to discuss last wishes with either. She just won't hear of it. So I have resorted to putting all of my info in a box and telling my sister where to find it if needed. I am so glad that Lauren is able to handle these things personally. I so wish I could. Like I said you are amazing and I know there is that aweful elephant but I will continue to pray for Laurens comfort and peace. Hoping and praying you will all get painfree and enjoyable holidays together.
Lori

[clarabelle64]

I am walking your journey with you....stay strong, you are doing a wonderful job....
every blessing to you all
Clarabelle

[elise]

You are both amazing inspiring women. Lauren's news always brings me to tears but it reminds me everyday to just enjoy today.

[Mystic]

What an amazing post! My thoughts and prayers to you, your family and your incredibly strong daughter Lauren. Thank you for taking the time to keep the Club informed on your journey. You are so blessed to have your Friends, employers and family support!

[NWgirl]

Thank you for sharing this experience. It brings me comfort to hear how well Lauren is handling this, at least at the moment. I love organizing things too - I can see myself doing the same thing - lol! It sounds like you are surrounded by an army of angels and I hope that never changes. Sending strong thoughts and light your way.

[ams5796]

Janet,

You and your family has gone through the most difficult situation I could imagine. No one should have to watch their child die. And, yet you have handled this with such dignity and grace. You are beyond inspiring. I wish for you and Lauren to have some happy days ahead.


Ann

[live2jett]

The elephant that was standing in the room....has been replaced with LOVE a whole lot of LOVE...Thank you for sharing Lauren and your family's journey on this next chapter...the chapter that not all of us embrace. So proud of all of you...my continued prayers are with you all.

[very worried husband]

I am so so sorry what you and all your family is going through...

[pollo65]

I have held back on posting because I feel inept at articulating how strongly I feel about the grace , dignity and amazing straight forward thinking of you, Lauren and your remarkable family. Just want to reiterate what live 2jet said, thank you for sharing your journey. Sending love to you, Lauren and your whole family. You are all inspirational.
pollo 65

[cashmere]

Sounds like you and your family are amazing, and you have raised a wonderful daughter. I think that is the toughest moment, to hear you will die, but Lauren handled it so gracefully and hopefully what ever time she has left she can enjoy.

As I was reading, I was wondering what her most prized possession was, and was so excited to read it was her 2002 blue Ford T-Bird. I had one for 7 years, same year, same color and regret giving it up. She will be so pleased that you will enjoy it.

My hear breaks for you and your family and you have been so gracious in sharing your painful journey with us. Stay strong and enjoy every last day. Pearl

[iceis]

Dear Lauren,

I have watched your battle from afar for 2 years now, though I don't think I have ever responded to your amazing caregiver. I know I should be writing this letter to her, but something in my mind prevents me from doing so, and I feel as though I have to personalize it to you.

I just need to tell you that I have been amazed by you in ways I could never put into words. Your bravery, your passion for life, your strength ... I have never met you but I feel a connection with you that is outworldly. We were both so young in our diagnosis. We both have probably heard all of the, "you're too young for this" crap, but we know now that is so far from the truth.

I admire you dear Lauren for giving me hope and courage to fight whatever comes my way.

I will probably never have the chance to meet you, but you will forever stay in my heart - a vision of LIFE and the true meaning of living as opposed to existance. You have taught me more abut myself than I could have ever learned in a lifetime without your story of survival.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and will keep you in my prayers.

YOU will be my symbol of hope.

I am thinking of you and your family.

[Kathryn in MN]

I'm glad that hospice is working out so well for Lauren, and that they were able to explain things to her, rather than you having to do it. She has had time to process this for a while - and even if she wasn't talking with you about it, I bet she thought a lot about it before going in for HIPEC - such a serious surgery, and she's been dealing with such a complicated serious situation all along. I don't talk with my family about my death very often - I don't want to sound like I am giving up yet to any of them. So they might not realize that if someone told me I only had a little time left that I'd be prepared. They probably have no idea how much I have thought about it. That is kind of sad that our society doesn't want to talk about death, when it is certain that if we are born, we die. All part of a natural cycle. But if someone with a serious and/or terminal illness talks about dieing, too often people take that as giving up. (Not saying you would - but just that our societal pressures do influence how we handle this as patients - even when we don't want it to.)

I can't imagine what it is like to be the parent. I can't imagine if this were my 23 or 26 year old daughters who are just getting started in life. I am glad it is me and not them. I know what it is like from a patient side only, and worrying mostly about my sons who are still in high school and college.

Lauren sounds a bit like me - being busy getting everything in order is probably helping her with it all. Yet after three years, I still don't have everything done that I feel I need to for when the end is close for me. (That has changed a bit as children have grown up more, etc.) Maybe I've ignored some of it so that I have it to focus on when I need it. I hope Lauren is able to get everything arranged the way she wants it and spend time with family and friends, enjoying the time she has left - able to stay away from the hospital with your help and the help of hospice.

[beth568]

I am devastated at the thought of you losing your beautiful daughter, but so happy to hear that she is facing this with grace and maturity. Your post actually made me smile - because I see so much love and wisdom in her outlook. What a blessing that she has the time and the clarity to prepare. The loss is still ridiculously unfair, but you and Lauren have given us all a gift by sharing your story.

[Deirdre]

Janet

Thnk you for sharing and writing to lovingly about all you , Lauren and your family are experiencing. you are an incredible family.

[jens22]

What a wonderful team you have working with you. Don't we all ask for honesty!! Want a relief to have all of these chemo, testing decisions to be lifted off your daughter. It sucks that she is dying....but right now she is living!!! Getting everything done...her way!! Any fears are being delt with. I pray that Lauren has lots of time left and pray for your strength.