An open message to no one in particular

[CRguy]

I don't know, maybe it's just me today, but that's what I'm thinking.
Bev

Well to address your message Bev, I just wanted to say I didn't assume you were leaving and needed me to tell you how important you are to the forum. I read your message as another sharing of energies with friends here, which is what you do and who you are...AND why I named you den mother many years ago. Something which has been amply demonstrated by the "don't go" posts.

Forgive me if this gets to a little of the tough love part...... but did anyone think to consider that our friend Bev may need a sabbatical from the forum... for HER own best interests ? ... and maybe we should support her even if it means she may take a break from us ?????

"If you love something...set it free.
If it returns, it is yours forever.
If not...it never was."

If you need to go, you have my support, because I know you would never leave this forum unless you really had to for your own wellbeing.
For all you mean to us and all the people who need you here..... YOU need to do what is best for you.

Love and Harmony
Liam Richard Washington

[edinaman]

Bev, I agree with CRguy. If you need a break take it, but only a break. We need you back here when you are ready.
Jeff

[Patience]

Bev, I cannot recall ever reading a posting by you that did not contain compassion. Please carry my thankfulness with you for your warming attitude and insight, whether in the future that be here on the forum or in your "real life" offline.

Peace to you and yours.

[pollo65]

C.R. guy reminded me that my selfishness did not take your needs and feelings into account (I guess that is what selfish means.) CR Guy is right, maybe with everything that is going on you need some time away from the fray. Sorry I was only thinking of myself.
Be well my friend,
pollo 65

[Bev G]

Thank you all, my beloved friends, for your nice comments and incredible support. I told my husband a few days ago what was going on, and the "history repeating itself" experience I was feeling....that I was thinking of just calling it a day with the Board, etc. My husband (who appears for all the world to have cornered the market on selfishness much of the time) says "Ah, you will never do that...", and went on to list several rather insightful realities about why he believed that to be true.

Many of the people on the Board are as real, and as important, and as close to me as if we actually did live in the same neighborhood. I pray for you nightly, and there are indeed some sleepless nights I have when things are going very bad for you...hey! That's just like a family, huh? I used to put some people's upcoming scans on my calendar, so I could remember to check on results. One of my "real life"" friends once said something to me like "get a life". Well, guess what...this is my life. Having worked forever in a career I passionately loved (caring for sick pregnant women and their fetuses), that has ended. My dumb back, and cancer, ended that for me. What can and should fill that hole? I spent decades learning my craft, and now years learning what I know about this...

What could be as intensely emotional as a critically ill mom or her baby? Or as incredible a high as them both pulling through? Well, this, right here on our Board. I once said something to my son about how glad I was that I only had one child, because there was no way I could have loved another as I loved him, and he responded, "No mom, that's not how it goes....what happens is that your capacity to love just grows deeper and deeper and deeper---it is not finite". YES. That's true, I've learned.

That's what cancer has done for me. My capacity to love has grown deeper and deeper. That capacity doesn't appear to have any end in sight. When I sign stuff "love" here, I'm not just saying it...I really am feeling it. So leaving? I don't think so---sometimes choosing more carefully which posts to respond to--probably yes.

Thanks again, everyone. I wouldn't want to live without you.

Love to all,

Bev

[michelle c]

So beautifully written, Bev. I'm so glad to hear that you're not leaving

Love to you too,

Michelle

[AudreyM]

From one of the newbies who has read many - many - many of your posting and learned lots from them - Thank You! Your time, efforts,and compassion were greatly appreciated!

[dianetavegia]

Excellent Bev! Agree 100%!

[NWgirl]

That's my happy face. And wow, how insightful of your son! When I was pregnant with my son (daughter was 2 years old); I had the same thought - how could I ever love another child as much as I loved her? And then my son was born - and what your son said - spot on. At that point I was ready to have a dozen more kids - lol! But hubby said 2 was good. Considering my age and later my cancer diagnosis, it was good that hubby was there to keep my head on straight - love like that is very powerful indeed!

[betsydoglover]

Hi Bev -

As you know, I don't post often. (I can't stop reading, although periodically I tell myself that stopping reading for a while would be good.) I learned a ton from both CSN and this site. I felt connected. However, my "journey" has been a bit different than most Stage 4 folks - just dumb luck! I wish I had your supportive personality, but lately I find I am depressed by reading posts here, and I know that I have to do what works for me. My last clear scan was 8/21 and my oncologist told me "just keep what you are doing, whatever that is". The thing is that we have no idea what I'm doing - again just dumb luck (which makes me feel guilty). Sometimes you just need a break from cancer discussion - no matter the stage - but perhaps especially those of us who are long term survivors, not in treatment, but know that could change with next scan.

Take care and do what's best for you,

[Sandy gma]

Bev, I don't know what's going on around here. I just don't have the time to read and respond as I would like to and usually just skim the posts I think are relevant to my daughter's situation. You are one of the members whose posts I look for and read and I think you are one heckuva strong woman, going through all that you are going through with your own diagnosis and now your husband's illness, all while dealing with nearly lifelong type 1 DM. If you need to take a breather from the site for your own well being I can certainly understand. I hope you don't stay gone for long. I love your posts and responses! My all-time favorite is your response in the thread about faith. I just love what you said - you put words to what I've long felt but could not articulate. I've read that one many times - it's been a while. Might need to look for it again.

Sandy

[horizon]

I find it very difficult not to speak up if I see something posted that is an old wive's tale and has no scientific backing. I worry that someone new and scared, grasping at anything they can find might be swayed by apricot seeds or other craziness, and not pursue more valid options - even if those options are non-traditional, but with some science behind them. There is no one size fits all treatment answer, but there are some things circulating that are just not true. We have to respect choices whether traditional or nontraditional, but we also don't want someone being conned or lead totally astray.

A-freaking-men. I find the attitude of "we should be able to post whatever we want from Google and you're mean/rude if you say anything negative about it" preposterous. That's my biggest fear also. The scared/frightened recently diagnosed person reading and following some potentially very shaky advice instead of pursuing scientifically backed options when time is of the essence.

[Candyys03]

Bev,
I would be sad if you left so I'm glad you're not.
Thank you for being you-encouraging,helpful,praying and so much more.
I love you dearly.
Candy

[jgall]

Hey Bev,

As usual I'm late to the party again ha ha. I can't add anything else really other than to echo all great sentiments already opined here. You ARE our den mother and it wouldn't be the same without you. I was so touched last year when Chris had his big surgery and I logged on very late and saw a thread from you asking how the surgery went. You really do care about us all and it shows. Thank you for your generous spirit and gracious love. I'm glad you are staying!

Namaste!
Julia

[Guinevere]

Glad you're staying, Bev but understand if you need a break. Your stress levels must already be off the charts and, with diabetes, you know how bad that can be. We'll be here when you get back if that's what you need to do.
Much love (really) ~
Guinevere